I can't keep caregiving for someone who doesn't allow me to do what is right. Any advice?

When she was in nursing home before, was that for rehab? I'm puzzled that the doctor says she doesn't need long term care. Then what was she doing in a nursing home?

She feeds herself. That is good. Can she toilet herself? Do laundry? Make a snack or a meal? Shop? Brush her teeth? Use the phone? Drive?

If her social security income is "too high" to qualify for some benefits, is she paying you rent? Or are you living with her? Is she paying for the 5 hours help per week?

We really need a little more information here. But one thing is clear: you cannot be compelled to have her live in your home if you do not want that.

She must be receiving other retirement pay. SS for one person can't be too high to qualify for Medicaid from what I've seen. If she has other retirement or too many assets, those can disqualify her, but those can be spent down. I agree with others than you need someone to help guide you through the possible living arrangements. This could be the Dept. of Human Services for your county or even a company such as "A Place for Mom." Someone should be glad to help you find the right home for your mother and work with you on the financing.

Call you local Council on Aging for assistance.

Not really enough information to give you additional advice based on her level of care. Are you working? Do you live with her? Can she dress herself? Is she safe? I'm assuming, from what you're saying, that your MOM won't let you do what's right? What's that?

More info.

Chris, I just read your profile, I am curious why you took your Mom out of the nursing home?

You need a benefits counselor.. we used ERBC but there are many places that can help you for no fee. look up on the Money and Legal tab and click on Paying for Care

So, Chris, if your mother couldn't live with you - imagine for a moment that you don't exist - where else would she go? Lots of good ideas above about where to seek advice.

And no, I agree that you can't healthily keep caregiving for someone who won't allow you to help her. Sounds like she's no happier with the situation than you are, so finding a good alternative is definitely the right thing to do.

already talked to Aging Council. no help. her SS is too high for assisted and doc want admit her as long term. she truly can do nothing but feed herself and walk alone. she's aggressive and does not like for me to be told what is safe to do. she has been living with me for 3 and a half months. I have no siblings to help. I have a home helper once a week for 5 hours and we can't afford more.

she is living with me. she cannot do simple tasks like bathing, dressing, meals or snacks. was using home equity to pay while attempting Medicaid. it ran out and I had to pull her out.