Caregiver sleep help! Any suggestions?

Please talk to your doctor about your sleep anxiety issues. Being in the midst of "fight or flight" adrenaline rushes at night will keep anybody from sleeping. He/She can prescribe medications and treatment to help you relax and stay asleep.

It might also be a good idea to hire somebody to "take a night shift" a couple of times per week so you can just relax and sleep. Hire a sitter for minimum wage, or ask a family member to help, so you can just sleep and know that somebody else will attend to your father at night.

Ive been through the same thing. I just brought Dad back home from Nursing Home. Our current home care nurses are coming to the house everyday to check his vitals. We found pressure sores in his heels. Nurses said nursing home just left him in bed the whole time and didn't get him up. Anyways...I recently found some Rain videos on YouTube that run for 10 hours or less. It calms me down to sleep. Even though I still get up about 3:30am to check automatically on him I get back to bed to sleep again with the rain sounds. It's so peaceful and calming I was surprised it's working for me so try it out. Good luck. No matter what it's better than Dad being left alone in his room laying in bed getting sores on him.

I hear you Carolann
Without enough sleep, I am a zombie.
It’s good that your dad is normally able to sleep through the night and that this week was unusual.
I have two ideas. Increase the Magnesium in your diet. Here is an interesting article and you can find many suggesting magnesium is important for sleep, even depression and anxiety.

https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/magnesium-and-sleep

My second thought is that you need a plan for backup. No matter how good a sleep aid is, you have to be able to spend some time in bed. After one sleepless night, you need to find someone to come in and manage things so that you can get sleep. Your reserves are depleted.
And since dad is normally sleeping during the night, I’ll assume he’s needing attention during the day.
See if you can find a friend, relative or agency who can come in for those second nights to allow you to refresh.
Last year a cousin with Covid was taking care of both elderly parents with Covid and two other family members. She needed sleep. She couldn’t get anyone to come into “Covid house”. She asked her sister to monitor her dad on the cameras so she could get sleep. She did this for a few nights and it allowed her the ability to feel things were ok enough for her to sleep awhile. At its worse her dad had to be taken to the hospital twice where he was kept for several days each time, which allowed her to sleep. Not wishing your dad to need to be taken to the hospital but for the long haul you need backup.
Respite care for your dad might also be an idea. How long has it been since you have had a few days away from caregiving?
I hope you sleep well tonight and awake refreshed.

Generally when we cannot get back to sleep having been woken that way it is because our brains become too active and we cannot turn off our thoughts and worries - not nice and very wearing and anxiety causing.

In the days of cassette players - I guess we all remember those on here although younger people don't -one could get a tape of being talked through relaxation. I know that in the UK we can get the same on CD (almost as hard to play as a tape these days but personal players with headphones are still around). There is a man Paul McKenna who has made a series of CDs - I don't know if they are available in USA, but they probably are on ebay uk if not USA. Playing something quietly that you have to concentrate on to "force" relaxation, can be very effective - I have used it for panic attacks - and in time one becomes able to achieve the end result without the "tape". Not an instant solution but very helpful and building to a long term effect which can be life changing. If you can find such a thing then give it a go. Good luck.

Just want to say, I too am like you. Mom only woke up once during the night but by the time I had to go down to her room, show her is was dark outside, then tuck her in, I was wide awake. When she was in the AL I had a aide call me at 6am to tell me Mom fell out of bed. Never got back to sleep. My problem is I can't take sleep aides. Even the ones that claim you won't have morning drowsiness I do feel "out of it" when I wake up. Never tried Melatonin. I had Mom for 20months and ended up placing her in an AL. Was lots better for her and I got a decent nights sleep.

I can empathize. My hubby gets confused around the time of the full moon. He will wake me up and ask me if I've fed the dog, if I want breakfast, is it time to get uo, etc etc etc. I trained myself to go back to sleep quickly. It will take 3 or 4 days, maybe more, but it will work. Start counting from 5. Inhale and think 5. Exhale and think sleep. Inhale 4, exhale sleep. Inhale 3, exhale sleep, etc until you get to 1. Then start over. Concentrate on the number and the word sleep. Keep doing it. You will go to sleep.

Our brains will fulfill our thoughts. If we lie there and think I can't sleep, then I won't sleep. If I think I'll never be able to go back to.sleep, then I won't.

I worked shift works for 8 years, two weeks per shift. The easiest shifts were the repetitive 8 hours (8-4, 10-6, 4-12, 12 mid -8a) The worst shifts were 8-4 one day, 4-12, the next, 10-6, the next, 3-11, etc. One of the other Inspectors told me this trick and I've used it for 30+ years. It took one of my friends about 10 days to master it, but she did.

Having said that, I would love to sleep an uninterrupted 8 hours. But I'm afraid that day will be here sooner than I want.😔

Sleep is so important and can be so hard to get. After my mom's stroke I needed a way to drown out my constant disturbing thoughts at night that usually had me in tears. Occasionally various guided meditation sessions or soothing mediation music, all found free on YouTube, or a free app called Sleep Orbit that allows you to customize the nature sounds you want to hear, helped. This may sound strange but what's worked best for me for a few years now (& thankfully for my husband too) are old time radio plays. The best one for us is the series of 59 half-hour episodes of "Barrie Craig, Confidential Investigator" from the early 1950's. There's a huge variety of radio plays and shows you can download free. Google "Old Time Radio Researchers Group" or "Internet Archive" to see what's available. I've tried many series but found the easy going pace of this series and actor William Gargon's voice soothing even though someone always gets killed and he gets conked on the head in almost every episode. My husband and I each keep an iPad near our side of the bed and turn on an episode whenever we need to. I played some for Mom and she liked them too. There are also musical shows, comedies, etc that perhaps your Dad might enjoy. I wish you good sleep and pleasant dreams Carolann2244 during this difficult time in your life.

If having to care for him and in addition have your own responsibilities is physically and mentally harming you, then you know what you have to do. Either find someone to take care of him completely at night so you can sleep or you place him. This should not be happening to you and will eventually cause illness, etc. for you. No one should be subjected to these conditions.

A lot of individuals on here may not like this answer, but have you ever considered THC/CBD? I discovered this late in life and while I was caregiving for 5 years with my ALZ mother, I tried it and it worked wonders with my sleep, attitude and overall anxious behavior. It's legal here in CA and medically in most states. Good luck.

My doctor agrees with my using Sativa (cannabis) gummies, 1 10mg. a night.

very calming. Works like a charm. No feeling of “being high”. Benzodiazepines can cause memory problems. No known side effects with the cannabis. I live in California where it’s legal and readily available.