Why do I feel so resistant to the needs of my elderly mother as a caregiver? Ever since my stepfather passed away my mother has come to rely on me and my husband more than I would like. I wish I did not feel this way considering I always enjoyed tending to the needs of my children. I am a empty nester now and love my freedom and independence. The thought of taking on the responsibility of my mother at this stage of my life makes me feel I am losing the life I wanted when my children became adults. I am not resistent to helping her, just to becoming her caregiver. She has a very emotionally needy codependent personality.