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I'm living with my 92 year-old mom, who has dementia, and I decided to move the the South, from NY, because I think I'll be able to afford some help down there. I'm an only child, no husband or siblings, or other family. My dad passed away four years ago, so Mom and I just have each other. She'll be moving with me, of course, but I have to go down there to look for a home ahead of time, and I don't want to take her. We don't have the funds to leave her in a respite home for a week, and/or to hire an aide to come in everyday. If I do find someone to come in, she won't answer the phone or the door, so I don't know how I can be in touch with her, if I leave her alone. She leaves sliding doors unlocked, as well as the front door. I'm a wreck worrying she'll leave the doors open when she goes to bed, which she has done, or open the door for the "wrong" person, while she's alone. If I make the doors inoperable, for safety, how would she get out, if there's a fire or something? I don't want to take her with me, for the hassle and cost it would bring, because she does nothing at all, and I can't take care of her, and find a new place to live, at the same time. What are my options, if any? Thanks, in advance, for your feedback.

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Thanks, everyone, your suggestions are very helpful. I might try to find a student, or someone who might take less money to come in for a few hours to make sure she eats and takes her meds. Maybe I could get a friend to help in the evenings. I so appreciate your feedback!
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You might want to check with your church to see if there might be any volunteers to take her for a few days as well.
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I would contact the Alzheimers Association in your area to see if they have some ideas. Maybe you could find another person in your area with a similar situation and you could swap caregiving duties. She probably wouldn't be able to stay with your mom 24/7, but could come in and check on her. I'd also check out social service/nursing students in the area, to see if the could get credit by helping you in this situation. (That idea is kind of off the wall, but possible). And do as much as you can about checking out your new location via the internet before you go.
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If you can't afford a respite facility ...can you afford maybe someone to come in to the home and stay with her? Maybe ask around for a student nurse who would be willing to come and stay. Or possibly someone close that you can trust to check in on her. There are lots of caregivers out there who would be willing to work for cash, tax free. Maybe go online and check for agencies in your area that do home care, even if you can get someone like this to come in and stay during the day and have a friend of family sit with her at night.
Area of Aging and Disabilities in your city have tons of resources for low income families. They will come out and qualify you by income level of your mom. They can offer many services that she might qualify her for. It's worth a try. I hope this helps. Good luck and God Bless.
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Can you think of anyone who would be willing to come in and care for her for a few days while you are gone? A trusted friend or neighbour. Perhaps contact social services and see if they could provide her with some care while you are gone.
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