i really don't know what I need or why I am exactly writing this but I am feeling so lost I need to do something. The last five years has been really rough with my mom. She has continually struggled with health and has had a steady decline over the last year or so. Five years ago my mom had a surgery that about took her from us...i will never forget the ICU code call and the sternal rub that she didn't respond to. since then my mom has become a shell of herself, she has moderate dementia, can only take care of her own ADL's with assist most often then not, falls continually (multiple falls a day sometimes, and at least two or more a week). we've been to the ER three or four times this year for various infections, and found out she has TIA's in march, and she had another surgery in July to clear her sinus cavity of the impaction that we found out after the fact was actually a staph infection. since the diagnosis of her TIA's we have come to realize that she probably has them a lot more often then we think, and has had them for a long time. She ended up in a rehab for 20 days in September, but since coming home has only went down hill more. Since coming home in October the doctors have said that there is nothing else they can do for the TIA's, they can't figure out where the clots come from or what causes them. They don't know why her health is failing in general, why she is falling, or anything else other then to say that her body is starting to fail her in general.
We've had the discussions as a family to plan for next steps, and to talk about what to do if mom were to have a serious stroke. I struggle with all of these discussions, and though overall i agree with the decisions I really struggle with losing my mom. I have lost parts of her so long ago i feel foolish missing what we had, but I miss her. I don't know what I need but I need to feel better, or learn to cope with all this without going crazy. I work in a high stress job and have two high schoolers and stay incredibly busy keeping up with them. Most of the time I feel like I am just one slip from losing my mind and everything in life. Is this normal? does it get better? any ideas how to cope and live with this all!?
Pull up briefs can still work, but it takes a lot of rolling and turning to get them on. Better yet, find the ones with velcro-like tabs (I personally prefer the 'fitted tabbed' versions, which I actually cut up the sides. The unfitted versions just don't FIT right and always bunch in the wrong places). I get almost all of ours at CVS, where the prices are actually cheaper than if I ordered them in bulk.
If you have access to getting home health to come and teach you techniques, DO it! All kinds of back-saving tricks, like keeping a pad under her, and use IT to help you with the turns (you grab the pad and pull/lift to make her turn/roll over). As for lifting and moving, see if you can find a 'gait belt' .. it wraps around the middle and gives you leverage for lifting/transferring. If you don't have access to Home Health instructions, there are a number of really good videos on YouTube.
Good luck and let us know how it goes for you.
I am so sorry for your loss. And it is wonderful that you and your sisters were able to work together! Your mom must have been so proud of her girls!
Reddog .. you may want to add incontinence pads to the nighttime diaper. The major thing to remember and consider: when she's wet, especially overnight (and if she's losing sensation that she IS wet), the risk of bedsores increase. There are many ways to alleviate this risk including frequent turnings/position shifts, more frequent changes of the diaper, liquid/creme barriers and adding a variable pressure air mattress to the bed (our personal lifesaver .. Edna doesn't *move*, at all, at night, so the mattress allows us to sleep at night, knowing she's never quite in the same position). And, yeah .. some days are great and others make you feel like you're dealing with a completely different person. Edna vacillates from knowing where she is to wanting to go home .. while she's sitting in the living room of the home she's had for 30 years. Dementia is a devil.
Hang in there, and let us know how it goes!