Why do I always fall for people who really have no interest in me personally but play a game with my emotions?

SharynMarie, I have heard the theory that we keep having the same experience until we learn or master the dynamics. I have read that one can even correct one's handling of these situations in dreams, and/or through hypnosis. You must go deep into your consciousness and figure out why YOU seek out these types. By doing it you are giving yourself another opportunity to resolve it, but you are not adding new components or behaviors to learn the lesson--or however you view the circumstance. You mention your "dysfunction." What does that mean? They are not playing with your emotions; you are not the master of your emotions, or they could not effect you. Learn to read other people's behaviors and avoid those who bother you. I hope this helps. Manipulators suck. xo

Have consequences for such people who break your personal boundaries and stick to them. Listen to your gut instinct or perception of people.

It's like wanting your narcissistic mother to finally love you. If you can truly accept that this person will NEVER be trustworthy, and grieve the relationship you hoped for, maybe you can let go.

A different angle would be to think about the relationships in your life that may not be perfect, but are trustworthy. Some of my friends I don't actually love as in have a crush on, because they are not that charismatic, or are a little annoying. But I love them as friends because they are so good, and so good to me, and so reliable.

We are drawn to the sparkly surface, which is natural, but we can learn to rely only on the substance under the surface.

Thank you all for the answers. I have decided that even though I am lonely at times, I will not respond to these two people's emails. They may mean well enough but I really dislike it when people suggest we get together,etc when they have no intentions of doing so. I know they don't want to get together but it still boggles my mind that they will randomly contact me with an email. I get so much support here on this site, but sometimes I am like a puppy wagging my tail. You have all helped me to see that I need to set boundaries with them. Thank you and hugs to everyone!!

It is possible that being in therapy would help. I've been in therapy now for 10 years for various issues plus my bipolar disorder which has helped.

Hi Sharynmarie. I understand {{{{{ hug }}}}}. It is NOT you, it is them. I just recently deleted 2 "friends" of many years from email, facebook - everything. I simply got fed up with their invites and no follow-thru. Interestlingly, it was only after their wedding two years ago and my $$$$ spent did their odd behaviour start. I've come to realize they are just Users. So good riddance! AND just recently, I got invited to a wedding by a bride I barely know - I haven't even met her fiance or family or friends! Some people (an euphenism) are truly unbelievable!!!

Evydarling -
They have every right to ask. You have every right to say no. I get your point, but I think a weakness of caregivers is that we forget that we don't have to say yes.

sharyn, I have met some of that too. It is very easy via social media and email to forge what seems to be a sincere relationship and then find out that it isn't. There is risk involved. When someone who has sought contact with me proves that they are not sincere, or are troublesome in other ways, I tend to cut off the relationship. Sometimes the risk pays off and sometimes it doesn't. This is true in real life too. I have had similar happen IRL. Then you know! (((((hugs))))

I have had it happen IRL too, but it seems easier to recognize than when you receive the written word (I think that may back to my upbringing with black and white thinking and not being able to read between the lines). Hugs back to you and thank you!!

In real life you have the advantage of reading body language, tone of voice etc. Online you just get written words. I have read that 80% of communication is non verbal, so you are missing a lot of cues when you have only written communication. And there are people who only want an email relationship. I have been emailing one lady regularly for many years and she "laughingly" made a reference to me visiting her. I followed up and she backed off. I guess she is only comfortable with email. I enjoy our correspondence so, I accepted that and we continue to correspond. I tend to be very literal too. :)