I'm having a terrible battle with cargiver burnout this past week and am extremely depressed. Is there a chat room or anything?

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Long long story I have no family and lost most of my friends I have no one support me and have been 100% alone in her care for almost nine years with no relief or respite and about to crack!!

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Juju, you sound just like me. I can converse but when the small talk runs out, I panic in my head. Except, I end up clamming up and flee. I don't have any deep friendships. All the ones I had - was like 23 years ago - before I started caregiving. Kind of hard to discuss with your friends that your mother wants to kill you because she thinks you're hiding her money and trying to make her go crazy, etc... So, I kept all in. I finally dropped them when they couldn't understand why I needed to do this or that. All well....

Well, I hope you enjoy your visit with your friend. Hope it was less stress.
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Ya thanks ladies. I think I am not that shy...I do tend to have lot of aquaintances just as someone sed, don't seem to be able to forge a bond or deep friendship... and I do very easlily run out of small talk when my world is comsumed with unpleasant tasks daily etc....I just completely draw a blank..it is funny almost...I scatter in my mind "find a subject other than bm's quick before you lose them" I have to laff....maybe when the stress wears off a little more I wont look and feel so flat tooo....that mite help! I mention this cuz I think lot has to do with first impressions, sometimes anyway. Church has been a good experience we have tried 2 weeks in a row too! I am taking off tomoro tho for several days to see my beloved friend 2 hrs away.I miss her so, we planned this while ago as for her return from a month in France, to see her parents/family...The timing couldn't be more perfect except for I was so down last week I felt I would not be able to get us there, im stressing now but a good stress just lots to get done so we can go!! CUZ.....We ARE packing up the crew and getting a change of scenery!!!
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I like hanging on the edge of the big group - only because I don't have to talk but I can listen to everyone's stories. I just love to hear people talk. Sis says that we're nosy and like to share what we find. That's a good advice, though. By the way, Care1975, your flower is very pretty.
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I am an Introvert and have trouble meeting people also. My mother told me something that really helped me to find some very good friends. She said, "When you walk into a room, you will see the a big group of people. Don't go to the center of the group. Look for people around the edges, that is where your friends will be." She was right, in the center of the group I had trouble getting a word in a conversation, but along the edges, I could strike up a nice conversation. I'm glad you are feeling better!
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Oh I wished you lived in Philly, I'd be there. Oregon aging and people with disabilities google it. They have extensive services to help in your situation. Adult day care, it looks like you might be eligible for some help to come to the house. They offer advice where to go, help to find a support group, how to get financial help. I don't know your county to explore further. Your a wonderful loving person, thank you for all you do. I send you a hug. Mediate, exercise, an hour to your self every day, blah, blah,. Hang in there you are doing the right thing. We are here for you
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Hi Juju! I'm glad that you're feeling much better. That's what I like about this site. Just be careful because some posters sure know how to figuratively shoot arrows at you. I'm learning to ignore them. But most people here truly care and encourage us and gives us good tips. I will admit to having apologize several times to people whom I spoke sharply to.

Great. Mom is happy when you're happy. So, you need to get some "me time" so that you're not as frustrated/overwhelmed. (I know, easier said than done.) Remember - when you're happy, you're mom is docile ...for now. Take care!
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Well thanks everyone for all your support...I have pulled myself outta this rut for now. Feeling relief and empowerment as I begin to give despair the beatdown! babysteps! not gonna be overnite but the relief is evident in so many ways....My mom feels it even...she doesn't speak much and usually same few sentences....she came out of the blue with "that is the prettiest smile ive ever seen" yesterday..made me cry, sign we gonna be ok!!! and she is still there as a human...she sensed my mood improving.... which led me to have a fabulous day today solely because I smiled a many times genuinely....I didn t have to fake it for the first time in a long time...that what she saw yesterday and I felt today RELIEF!!! Im fried tho and need to just process all this wonderful info for a few days here!!!! Hope you all are coping well in your "house". THank you so much for all the support and love shown!
Have a wonderful day!
Love Juju!
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Another issue is our neighborhood, I relocated us to a peaceful country foothill setting but had no idea drug n alcohol abuse would run rampant out here..but of course we landed in an area full of it....everytime I drive down to the local market I am sure to pass someone either walking down with the cans or walking up with the beer! one handyman told me look at the cars here always the women driving cuz most young men cant get a liscense due to duii/drugs.... another reason I think I tend to keep to myself, I got tired of hanging out with drunks, and have no tolerance what so ever for it or the Tweekers!!!! My saving grace is I am at the top of the hill and end of the road so my little corner of the hood is pretty quiet! and I have a beautiful view looking up the mountain and down the valley on the other side....just cant really get off the patio to enjoy it rite now Due to the mess in the yard and the sinkhole....(afraid I will fall thru another and no one will be here this time to help get me out, could be fatal!) Anyway I think I will check in to this site everyday and see what going on....it has saved me this past week....I actually thought maybe the solution was to pack us (ma me and the 3 pets) all in the car and drive it strait off the road into the river!! I don't think I could ever follow thru but the thought creeping into my head was disturbing enuf.
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Good for you JesseBelle....I think I mite have to do the same...go shopping and find some shorts....went thru the closet this morn for church and saw have plenty of blouses but no bottoms but leggings or ttttiiiitttteee uncomfy jeans, I get soo hot I cant stand wearing leggings in the heat even if they thin! hope I can find something looks OK on my 2sizes bigger butt!!!!
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I did something for myself this week. I was out buying a suit to give my mother for Mother's day. I found something really nice. Then the little child in me started pouting that I bought something for her, while I was going around in tattered rags. So I found a cute Calvin Klein dress on sale. Perfect fit. But it had to have a white jacket to look just right. So that came home with me, too, along with a blouse that called out to me when I went by it. My shoes and handbags are still ragged, but I'll have on my pretty CK clothes tomorrow.

Now I hope that my sales are good this month. Maybe I'll even buy a new pair of shoes. :) I like that idea much. Caregiving can be so sad without us having to look it.
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