Follow
Share

Mom is giving me a check each month to care and support her.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I agree that while in the past verbal agreements were common, it's wise to have it legalized. The IRS can consider certain amounts as gifts to the caregiver, but Medicaid considers gifts a reason to not cover someone until that is "used up." This, I may add, may vary by state. Just to cover yourself, at least have a notarized agreement but one drawn up by an attorney would likely be worth a one time visit.
Good luck,
Carol
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Most state Medicaid departments will insist on a written caregiver agreement in order to treat the payments to you as other than a gift from your mom. The agreement should spell out the amount of payments, frequency, your duties and responsibilities, etc. You should not charge more than the going rate in your area for similar work, otherwise the excess charges will be deemed a gift from your mom. Finally, it's safest to be paid on an ongoing basis (e.g., at the end of each week) vs a lump-sum in advance, because only a few states permit advance lump-sum payments for Medicaid purposes.

Don't forget you have to report the payments as income on your tax return!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

What really makes the family situation blow up is siblings expecting that you SHOULD do it out of the goodness of your heart! That way, at least, their inheritance is not impacted which is what most siblings are concerned about. But ask them to assist, nosireesir, their lives are much too important!

It would be interesting to research non-paid 24/7 family caregivers to find out their situations. How many are married, already have retirement or coming up on it, have decent Social Security income (if there is such a thing) or were able to save substantially for their own retirement. How many are well off and can afford to provide the care without payment?
Helpful Answer (5)
Report

Quoting Attorney at law Kevin P. Keane:
"agreements not reduced to writing, are NOT worth the paper they ain't written on."

Caregivers should/must consult with a elder affairs attorney who is up-to-date on caregiving, estate and family POA documents, medicaid etc.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Yes absolutely! Not only for legal reasons to protect your mom but also to protect yourself! Idk if your mom is like mine, very few r as cruel and mean as mine, but if ur moms mind is starting to go, what if she forgets the agreement between you guys and thinks you have been taking her money? My mom always got mad at me and with a clear mind would accuse me of taking her money when I had POA. But she would tell docs or people in a rest home (when she was there) or whoever would listen, only when she was mad at me, that I was taking her money and not paying any bills with it and using it for myself. Later, of course, she would realize it was wrong to do and that she knew entire time what she said was false, but by then damage was done and sometimes I had agencies questioning everything I spent and doing investigations on me. It's not worth the headache and the possible damage it can do to ur relationship with your mom ( like in my case, my mom n I hardly speak now and I never go see her at home cause of the things she did to me and how she treated me). Get an agreement. In that agreement state how long she has been paying you prior to the written agreement and have it notarized!
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Caregivers can be compensated for services by using a Caregiver Contract or Personal Service Agreement
The contract should address:

1) tasks—personal services, personal health services, driving, household services
2) work schedule and hours
3) wages and how to be paid (rates comparable to those of home-health companies)
4) care receiver Social Security payments and caregiver reporting
5) reimbursement of caregiver expenses and car maintenance.

Another important “contract” is a family agreement, generated from a family meeting. I don’t think this is the type of “agreement” you were referring to in your question, but it is important nonetheless. A productive family meeting (which includes your mother) can build a strong foundation for family caregiving. Do you share common values? Talk about what is most important to all of you—autonomy or safety. Establish common goals. Divide responsibility based on the strengths and abilities you bring to the family. It is important to be specific. Develop a contract that delineates the commitments family members have made, and solidify those commitments with signatures that verify that everyone understands and agrees to the plan. Be sure to date the contract in case changes are needed later on.

Either of these types of agreements are more binding if they are at least notarized, if not drawn up with an attorney. If your objective is to be paid, I would definitely work with an attorney to draw up a Personal Service Agreement.

Barbara M.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Dixielicious - When my Mom had the nerve to suggest that I should be paying her "rent" I made out a bill for her. It included all the groceries that I buy, she never pays for anything, gas to take her to her many doctors appointment, the yardwork I did since she fired the gardener when I moved in and the amount of cleaning I had to do to make the house livable after years of neglect. I also gave her the bill for my nursing care since I am a RN and used to make $50/hr for the work that I do for her for free. It ended up with her owing me about 2000/month. That pretty much shut her up.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Had enough, all too often us becoming caregiver is a result of an emergency of some sort. Not a planned change in our lives. In my case sibs wanted to pay me in the beginning. I told them we would need a care agreement first, and we would wait a few months, then revisit. Well, here we are three years later, still have not been paid a dime, attorneys involved, three of them now. And this could have been done for a couple of thousand dollars had sister POA just carried out what she knew Mom's wishes are!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

All good advice here. I am doing this out of the kindness of my heart and I also feel obligated to do it as it is my dad. I have been saving every receipt and he pays my existing bills right now but complains about it sometimes. I can see we need a written agreement. I don't think he realizes what I am giving up so that he can stay in his home. You definitely should get a written agreement. I am going to get one that also spells out what has been agreed on so there are no issues with my sister down the road. My dad refuses to go to a nursing home and sometimes he acts like he is saving me since I had lost my job just before he got sick, which makes me angry because I am the one sacrificing everything to come live with him and care for him. If I had not been here he could have injured himself or been dead or they would have put him in a nursing home which would have just about drained his money by now. Am going to work on this agreement today!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Wow I wish my Mom or sibs would cut me a check every month. As it is I am spending all my income while Mom's coffers just increasing. I guess the sibs who have not helped will be coming for their share. If I had it to do over I would have an agreement before becoming a caregiver. My advice would be to have an attorney look it over and it should be fair. I got totally screwed by not being proactive and demanding that I be paid for what I do and now I feel stuck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.