How do you care for your Dad who is incontinent?

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My Dad is now fully incontinent. We have been using pull up depends, but with overnight (max absorbancy) in the pull ups. He goes into the bathroom every hour (prostate cancer) but thinks it is "wasteful" to change the pads. I come in about every 2 hours while he is on the toilet and remove the pad and put a new one in its place. We have an arrangement each evening that I wipe his butt (wet ones) and put cream on it (Weleda diaper rash has been good) to provide a barrier from wetness on his skin. He is now having difficulty with his penis from not getting clean and changed, the 2 hour schedule has helped but the MD is also asking for 3X week bathing. He is very difficulty to get to bathe more than once a week, so a bathing aide is going to come in. Good Luck.
My wife of 58 years has had AD for 12 years. Still strong, but the disease progresses.
I use 2 "depends" at night and when out for more than 3-4 hours. The 2nd pair will be tighter and helps with any problem that she has. She has a companion for 40 hours each week, but I get the nights and early morn. She does not seem to know when she has an "accident". Suggesting that she sit on the toilet does no good. I am glad that this disease progresses slowly so we can adjust slowly.
As people age, their B12 levels reduce, due to our body's inability
to absorb it from our food.
Incontinence is caused by a deficiency of Vitamin B12.
B12 sublingual tablets (HAS to be sublingual to work) cure the
problem - sublingual meaning under the tongue, where it's
absorbed directly into the bloodstream.
If I slow down my B12 intake, my incontinence returns, I have
my 6 tablets a day and it goes, I stop taking it and it returns. . .
Cheers x
My Dad is Bedridden and trickles all the time, we use Tena Male Guards and Prevail Briefs and ALOT of Aquaphor and Lantiseptic! When he is red we use EPC Cream, no break-downs as of yet and we have been home over a year! Plus we have had active C-diff two times. Make sure they get plenty of water and if bedridden when changing them roll to the left to empty the bladder and roll to the right to empty the colon.....Don't know to much on how to deal if not bedridden though...
Cute young chick, What is the strength of your B12? I take 5000 mcg sublingual daily. Still have some leakage, however.. And am not a cute young chick! I'm an old wrinkled hen - over 90..!
feehan: make sure your dad gets fiber. Also you can use baby anti-gas drops in his beverage. I make sure Dad has a slice of high fiber bread each day. He does not like the bread, so I put some butter and maple sugar on it. We switched from pants (with belt, button, zipper) to pj bottoms so he can get his pants down quicker. And for wetness only, pads inside his depends which I try to make sure are changed every couple hours. Good luck.
SOME incontinence is related to B12 and other B-vit. deficiency--not all.
We use Biotics edible tabs--always get B12 that also has folate, at minimum.
Most have about 1000mcg B12.
Biotics is pleasantly tasty--good for compliance, usually.
Some advanced senility elders can't manage sucking on a tab--will chew it or spit it...injectable better for those. It's also good for some auto-immune and neuro issues.

Goal with incontinence is minimize skin damage and infection.
IF appropriate, an indwelling urinary catheter might be useful--connect to collection bag. With confused elders, be watchful of tem messing with it--could harm self,or pluck it out.
For males, there are condom catheters...a condom-like device sticks onto the penis and drains to a connected bag....except in my experience in caregiving, unless the man stays fairly still, those come undone too easy. The sticky stuff that's supposed to hold it onto the skin always gets other stuff [hair, blanket fuzz...] stuck in, making it less effective; old shrunken skin is very difficult to apply t to.. Many caregivers simply cannot learn to apply it properly--eve medical staff have difficulty.
Catalogs like 'Dr.Leonard's', often list a male drainage device---but it looks like that only cups the penis and depends totally on man staying vertical [standing], in order to work right.
Could seek diaper inserts that have the gel that better absorbs wetness away from skin.

Explosive poop or diarrhea is another wicked issue.
ASK: WHY is person having explosive bowel movements?
WHY loose stools?
Answer: What they consume is affecting that. What they consume causes conditions like IBS, Chron's Disease, etc., which result in poor digestion, malabsorption, bowel issue. Some drugs cause it.
The solution is most often to correct what's consumed [stop eating allergenic food and drink; see if drugs can be adjusted], supply something that is very hypo-allergenic instead; then massively replace a broad spectrum of good Probiotics, daily. These can even be given between doses of antibiotic, too--some docs are clueless about this--but if enough are given, it stops the bowel problems and increases overall health benefits.
Acidophilus, alone, is listed in the PDR specifically for stopping diarrhea.
Bifidus is better at helping loosen up chronic constipation.
Rhamnosus helps decrease anxiety and depression.
There are LOTS more kinds.
Best is to get Probiotics with a long list of kinds of probiotics, to help the best.

It's important to have/use hypo-allergenic, non-toxic baby wipes and/or cleaning products too--gentle on skin, less trouble for any breathing issues.
Carpeted floors are ability--no good way to keep those sanitary.
No-barrier showers are very helpful.
There are no-rinse liquid soaps for cleaning bed patients with big messes, use with damp towels to wipe large area at a time.
There are riser seats for toilets that have cut-outs in back and front, to allow easier clean-up using a hand-held shower on a longer hose.
Try googling , or similar catalogs, to look for cheaper assistive devices and solutions.

Well I think you answered you own question, you have to either do it yourself or have him put in a board and care that will take care of him as he should be cared for. This is the time that most people place their parents when they become incontinent. You can't keep putting him in the shower every time. It is a tough job that most people don't or just can't do. You are at that crossroads and have to make up your mind.
The other options is home health aides for two hours once or twice a day.
How would you know what two hours and they charge a minimum of 4 hours most of the time at 20 bucks per. So that is not a cheap way to go either.

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