How do you care for your Dad who is incontinent?

I've gone thru the same thing but my father is less responsible than your dad. He was living in a very unsanitary situation. I regret not calling in social services, dept. of aging much sooner. His situation turned into a UTI that caused sepsis. After over a month of trying to get him hospitalized, a doctor came to the house and finally somehow convinced him he needed to go to the hospital. From there it was a rehab/nursing home stay and then home on hospice care. We now have home health aides that come thru the week to bath him and make sure he has clean pullups on. He fights it but we have had no choice. He was not making good decisions for himself.

He was never diagnosed as to why he has incontinence. I hate to think there is a solution and medication to treat his cause and he is not taking advantage of it.

try to accept the mind is damaged. Forget about rational responses. we can run ourselves ragged trying to rationalize the irrational behaviors

He needs a full time heath aide caregiver

I feel your pain. My father is occasionally incontinent. I've seen him wet himself just sitting in his chair. He deals with it by pretending it isn't happening. Once in the ER he wet himself while being treated for a broken shoulder. He also has diarrhea sometimes. I once picked him up and he had actual poop on the outside of his pants (he had changed himself, but in the mess it still got on the clean pants).

I enforce a rule that he cannot get in my car unless he is clean. At the ER that day I asked them for scrub pants. I bought him the Depends and left them in his bathroom, I never said a word. He did get a script for over active bladder which has helped. If we are out somewhere I ask him often if he needs to stop. I try to make a joke of it like asking my kids if they need to go. It's very awkward but I decided to be straight forward about it.

Nursing homes deal with it by being matter-of-fact and just doing it. (Whatever "it" is.)

I'm assuming dad lives with you. Have you tried getting him to the bathroom every couple of hours? Again, be direct: "Dad, how about going to the bathroom so you don't have an accident? Let's see if we can't make sure you don't get any skin ulcers from wet briefs. Urine is caustic. If your briefs are wet, be sure to change them. A skin ulcer is a terrible thing."

Have a supply of Depends sitting in the bathroom and, when he goes in there, remind him to change if he's wet. Before he goes to bed at night, remind him to change. Check the supply to see that he has. If he hasn't, ask him to please change so he goes into the night with dry briefs.

Once he has skin breakdown from constant urine exposure, you and he will realize that, as uncomfortable as the subject may be for both of you, it's NOTHING compared with taking care of an open skin ulcer that takes weeks to heal.

You put on your big girl panties. Have dad put on dry briefs. ;)

If there's any way he can afford a visiting nurse or home health aide or if his insurance will cover it [if he's a veteran the VA may pay for it, but not always] they can change and clean him. When someone becomes incontinent, messes themselves, doesn't change as often as they should, then it goes beyond caregiving and into nursing. You can also buy a plastic sheet protector, as well as both washable and disposable underpads to keep both him and the sheets dry or at least drier. I assume you're using heavy duty diapers [the ones with straps tend to be better than pull ups but there may be exceptions]. If he can put them on and take them off himself that's great, but if he's not doing a proper job of cleaning himself, then you will need a nurse. In hospitals and nursing homes they use a foamy kind of spray to clean incontinent patients in delicate areas, but I can't remember the name of the product -- maybe someone else will. That is certainly a good product to use especially if you can't get a nurse. (I know my elderly relative that I cared for was very lax when it came to cleaning himself and developed issues until I had to clean and change him myself. Not easy -- and not recommended! I was hoping to get a visiting nurse but at that point his other issues necessitated a nursing home.) Best of luck!

My mother is bedridden with a Cath. And a Colostomy bag, she has been with me almost 7 years. I have a washable pad and on top of It I use a disposable pad to wick away any sweat or moisture away from her skin. I started using A&D ointment on her bottom and upper thighs the first day. She is. 84 and her bottom rivals a 40 year old lol. Never had a bedsore. She gets turned at night to her right side with a body pillow . She drinks 2 Ensure a day, and is sharp as a tack.

As people age, their B12 levels reduce, due to our body's inability
to absorb it from our food.
Incontinence is caused by a deficiency of Vitamin B12.
B12 sublingual tablets (HAS to be sublingual to work) cure the
problem - sublingual meaning under the tongue, where it's
absorbed directly into the bloodstream.
If I slow down my B12 intake, my incontinence returns, I have
my 6 tablets a day and it goes, I stop taking it and it returns. . .
Cheers x

You just have to clean up after him, but do not castigate him or show disapproval or let him see that he has offensive odour. It's a fact of life with some elderly folks and should be taken care of quietly, kindly , and confidently.

I expect you have incontinence pads, the washable ones, between Dad and the bed, and then use disposable pads on top of that.


It is something that has to be done and looks like you are nominated for the blessings that come from making an elderly parent dry, comfortable, and clean.


Keep up the good work and remember, "God loves a cheerful giver."

:)

My Dad is Bedridden and trickles all the time, we use Tena Male Guards and Prevail Briefs and ALOT of Aquaphor and Lantiseptic! When he is red we use EPC Cream, no break-downs as of yet and we have been home over a year! Plus we have had active C-diff two times. Make sure they get plenty of water and if bedridden when changing them roll to the left to empty the bladder and roll to the right to empty the colon.....Don't know to much on how to deal if not bedridden though...

Cute young chick, What is the strength of your B12? I take 5000 mcg sublingual daily. Still have some leakage, however.. And am not a cute young chick! I'm an old wrinkled hen - over 90..!