I like Shakings idea. But agree with Pepsee. Your parent has ALZ/Dementia. They will not understand what is going on. Maybe not make their needs known. Going under could make the Dementia worse. Its really not fair putting them through a treatment. They can't follow directions. 90 is a long time to live. My decision would be to get Hospice in so my LO was kept comfortable. My Mom didn't like to be touched and poked and prodded.
Feb 2018 my 90 year old mom was admitted to hospital and immediately diagnosed with a type of age related bone cancer - they kept asking about history of cancer in the family - we have none I said - they refused to listen. Bone marrow biopsy done - won’t show me results - just kept saying cancer and talking low dose chemo - at 90 and with no history of cancer in the family?! NO. We went for second opinion to Fox Chase Cancer Center - we were told it might be but because mom only had a low blood count and about 50% abnormal cell growth that they wanted to monitor her every 2 months. Blood test and doctor visit every 2 months. SUPER HAPPY to report that as of last visit a few weeks ago the oncologist said « you blood levels are up, you show no other symptomology, abnormal cell growth happens as we get in to the advanced stages of aging and it is nothing to worry about - NO CANCER - come back in 6 months just as a precaution. PLEASE GET A SECOND OPINION!
What Pepsee said - if he is not in pain, let it be.
BUT, what does your father want to do? I ask that because when my DH had a cancer scare at 90, he wanted treatments if needed. Thankfully, it was not cancer. We pretty much stopped having him checked for cancers after that. Since he went through Chemo at age 80 for Colon Cancer, I didn't want him to have to do that ever again.
He continued to see the dermatologist twice a year for the pre-cancerous age spots. Those were frozen off.
You'll have to pretty much follow your father's wishes re: treatment. Why not look online for alternative measures? You can google it and today I would use that if I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I don't believe Chemo is the way to go personally, I really do think most of us are over-medicated.
I have no medical advice I only have the knowledge of what I would do if the same were to happen to my grandmother. I don’t know the condition overall of your father perfectly healthy other than the pains of age or otherwise. But if my 91 yr old grandmother were to be diagnosed with cancer I wouldn’t tell her. I wouldn’t treat it, no surgery, no chemo, no radiation. At that age haven’t then been through enough? I think you have to ask yourself are the side effects worth the very minimal gain, if any, on living longer? My grandmother was mysteriously bleeding off and or from the nether regions and I made the choice not to explore for possible explanations. Would having a colonoscopy at her age do her more harm? Does your father need to carry the burden of knowing he has cancer? Would his body even be strong enough for treatment? What would you want for yourself? I’m sorry I seem to be asking more questions than giving my personal advice. This is my take on cancer at the age of 90.
I just saw my 69 year old sister-in-law go through so much suffering and pain with her treatments because the docs thought they could cure her. Get second opinion. Become educated about the cancer. Talk to the pallitive care part of the team and ask for honest assessment. Quality of his days vs quantity of days.
My Father is 94 and has been very lucky over the years to have had excellent health and continues to do so. He has made it quite clear to us that there is to be no medical intervention should he be diagnosed with something life threatening........nature is to take it's course. My family agrees 100%.
My mother (87 years) was diagnosed with blood cancer last year. She went through quemotherapy for 6 months and the side effects were just horrible for her. She became very weak while she was in therapy, plus she got depressed, her memory issues got a lot worse. I realized later it was not the best decition, I wish someone have given me another point of view and suggested me a more gentle kind of treatment. More important than having the cure of her illness, now I´m focused on giving her the best quality of life she can have. Good luck
I highly recommend the book, "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" by Atul Gawande. It addresses the question of quality of life vs length of life. I think that is very relevant when dealing with a cancer diagnosis in someone age 90.
Summerj, do you know what this person's wishes are regarding treatment? Is there a healthcare directive completed in the past?
Yes. Keep him oiled down with frankencense and myrrh oil...talk to him about the beauty of the ages...show him how much you care with hugs and lullabye children songs and the miracle of peace and agreement will reign in the days he has remaining! God bless!
My dad had a lesion found on his brain. The people at the hospital immediately asked where else he had cancer. As far as I knew, nowhere. He was also age 90. The first question is does your dad have any co-morbidities? In other words, does he have diabetes, parkinson's, congestive heart failure, dementia? Then, I would get a second opinion. Then, research the treatment options. Last look at a palliative care approach. My advice is to do no harm. Many treatments are brutal at any age, let alone 90. If you have the resources and he is under the supervision of an oncologist, an alternative treatment may be far less harmful and he might benefit. But as long as he is willing, and his wishes are tantamount unless you are his guardian, I would go with palliative care, then hospice to ensure that the time he has left is of the highest quality. Embrace each day you have with him and if he is able, create a few more positive memories with him.
I am not a physician but working in a cancer center PEPSEE is right on the mark. If its Prostate-do nothing. His age will get him b4 that type of cancer.
At 90 I would leave well enough alone. Actually if he/the family decides no treatment then I would contact Hospice. (You can never go wrong in calling and getting someone on as early as possible) You will have support, You will get all the supplies you will need You will get all the equipment that you need You will have physical help in the form of a CNA as well as a weekly visit from a Nurse You will also have the support of a Social Worker, a Chaplain as well as Volunteers if you choose to take advantage of these services. Hospice will have necessary medications delivered The main goal when it is necessary is to provide pain relief, comfort, support.
I think I still regret the decision I made to have a Melanoma removed from my Husbands head. I wonder if it would have made a difference in the 12 years of Dementia that we went through. (Never regret a decision that was made that seemed right at the time..)
I think he needs to be helped because they are not acting right about it. I don't think he needs any kind of bad drugs. He needs to be having a nice feeling like the sun on him, and trying to do things to promote a good feeling. I wanted to tell you that some people have been acting like people who have cancer need to be treated like trash. They didn't treat me right when I told them I was ill with it. I did a lot of healing and they were not acting right. He doesn't need people trying to tell him what he needs to heal. He needs to ask God.
Two weeks before my mother's 82nd birthday, she received a diagnosis of lung cancer. She had no symptoms then. It had been found on a chest x-ray during an ER visit for a minor, unrelated need. My mother said, "Thanks for the info," and got the heck up out of there. She wanted no parts of "the poison they're selling."
Within a month, a close friend of my mother's was diagnosed with brain cancer. Her friend took the opposite course from my mother's. Surgery, radiation, multiple rounds of chemotherapy.
A year and a half later, my mother and her dear friend flew away within six weeks of each other.
My mother's friend spent the last eighteen months of her life tethered to a cancer center that was a 45 minute drive away from home. She was constantly either in the hospital or making 4 to 6 trips per week to the center for "treatment". Her 85 year old husband barely survived the experience himself.
On the other hand, my mother had over a year of being healthy enough to come and go as she pleased, to enjoy doing the things she loved most to do before she became tenuously ill. Only the last few months of her life were marked by fatigue, shortness of breath, and pain. By then, she was on hospice care. Her symptoms were difficult but manageable. She died as she had wished, at home with my father, my brother and me at her side.
I can't tell you what's right for you and your family. I can tell you I have never been so relieved or so proud as I was the day my mother said, "Thanks for the info." and got away from doctors and cancer treatment as fast as she could run. You already know in your heart what is right; don't be afraid to listen.
I know that I would not treat my mother, age 91, if she were diagnosed with cancer. She says she has lived long enough. All her friends are gone. She lives with us and has dementia. Sometimes it's best to let nature take its course.
i have recentley lost my darling mum to dementia,bone cancer and lung cancer,she was on no treatment till she went in hospice for the last 3 weeks of her life,where she was kept pain free and clean and really looked after,they would talk to her when i wasnt there and she was never lonely.eleven years ago i lost my husband to lung cancer and he had chemotherapy and radiotherapy and was in agony from the treatment for over 12 months,in and out of hospital with no life at all. what im trying to say is mum was 96 years old and was kept calm and pain free ,my poor husband was 67 and in a lot of pain, and had no life for 12 months because of the treatment, iwould want to go the way of mum,peaceful.
Depends on a lot of factors. One, is your father in good health and mental status? If yes, does he want to get treatment? If he can't make that decision due to dementia, etc. then treatment would probably be traumatic and would it benefit him to extend his life in the condition he is in and for how long would it extend his life. Would treatment leave him more dependent on someone...would it leave him nursing home bound...what are the other risks for someone his age? Personally unless I was in great health and living a good productive life, I would not want to go through cancer treatment at 90 unless the odds were really good for a reasonably good recovery. I wouldn't want to add 3-5 years to my life if I was already suffering from Alzheimer's or another illness which would be made worse by any surgery or treatment. It has been my experience with my mother and a friend that anesthesia even from minor surgeries makes memory issues worse. Hope this helps and I am so sorry for you and your father's situation.
Chemo effects the heart. If his heart is not good, wouldn't attempt it. Make sure they tell you the side effects after chemo. It effected a friend of mines legs. They have to tell you pros and cons. In my opinion, if willing, they use people as gennie pigs.
First, age is just a number. My great aunt lived happily and productively in her own home until age 102 (with a little help now and then from her kids and grandson for tasks like changing light bulbs on the stairs). She was even attending college classes up until two months before she died. Our neighbor lived well and happily to the same age, her twin sister outliving her to age 104 and getting interviewed by the local paper and TV station in her 104th birthday and making good sense.
On the other hand, my mother began to stand in death's door in her late 60s. She lived happily with lots of care doing things she loved 11 years longer than her doctors imagined. My Dad is 86 and suffers from FTD, a particularly cruel form of dementia. Every person ages differently and there are no cut-and-dried answers.
I understand well the concerns about general anesthetic in the elderly, particularly if there is dementia. I have gone to great lengths to avoid it for Dad (and super grateful to a hero surgeon who removed a nasty fast-growing squamous cell carcinoma from his temple using only local anesthetic). The subsequent radiation therapy took a toll on him, but he was back to baseline in a few months and enjoying life as he can now.
That said, even younger patients get Post Operative Cognitive Decline, and it usually clears within days or weeks. This might stretch to months with dementia patients and the elderly. Research this.
Sometimes it is cruel to put a fragile elderly person through surgery or other medical treatments, especially if they are unlikely to survive the treatment of have miserable quality of life afterward. Other times, it is worth it and the patient enjoys more years of life and health.
I know it is hard to get hold of and pin down the doctors and surgeons in the hospital, but if you want to be confident in your decision, do try and do some research first and ask them lots of questions.
If you decide surgery, etc., Is not in his best interest, then you can research says to make him more comfortable and keep the colon cancer somewhat at bay (and control the diarrhea). Things like butyrate and bioavailable curcumin come to mind.
It really all depends on your father's attitude, state of health, and other health issues. I know this is really hard for you and wish you the best! More info would be helpful, if you want tailored advice.
My 78 year old cousin recently died of colon cancer after surgery and chemo. It was all very painful for her, when palliative care would have been best. I worked at the American Cancer Society for years, but they also recommend palliative care in some instances. It is certainly what I would choose for myself.
Depends on the cancer, proposed treatment, and patient’s wishes. My dad had colon cancer at 87 - huge blockage. Heavy bleeding. An obstructed colon is a ghastly way to die. He chose what the Dr recommended: therapeutic surgery (no follow up chemo) to remove the blockage. The surgery worked - cancer hadn’t spread to nearby organs. He lived another 18 months. He was very frail and had hospice care, but had a few more enjoyable family and church times in that period.
My 92 year old aunt played golf everyday and was diagnosed with Merkel cell skin cancer (rare, worse than melanoma, usually fatal). Her dermatologist believed it shouldn’t be treated & told her radiation would cause her teeth to fall out (tumor was on her chin). We wasted precious time - she had a strong will to live and waited to seek a second opinion with a dr who treats this cancer. What the research shows is that elderly folks who are relatively healthy can withstand radiation (chemo’s a different matter). In the case of Merkel Cell skin cancer, radiation is very effective if started immediately (within a few days of diagnosis). I know someone whose 85 year old grandmother was treated correctly after a Merkel Cell diagnosis and lived another five years, dying of something unrelated to the Merkel Cell skin cancer. Best answer - do the research. Some patients will want treatment. Lots of variables when it comes to recommending cancer treatment for seniors.
My dad had cancer at 94 - FYI .. I have even heard of cancer of the placenta - it can come up at anytime, any place, any one - just because he got that far without it is good
I believe that the reason we have so much more cancer now a days is antibiotics because IF YOU DON'T DIE AT 6 OR 12 OR 17 OR 35 ETC DUE TO INFECTION MEANS YOU CAN LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO GET CANCER IN YOUR OLD AGE - our chances of hitting 80 are great & 90 is good as well but basically we actually have to die of something AT SOME TIME
I don't mean to make light of your dad's situation but just want you to see a perspective on it - I really hope your dad does as well with his that my dad did but be prepared that people in their 90's are knowledgeable about the side affects of radition & chemo so may allow some surgery [like dad did] but will refuse anything further treatment because they know that they don't want months of therapy that makes their life miserable in the short run .... they know it won't be a 25 year run so will go with comfort in the short time - the type & kind of cancer need to be known but some will say 'to hell with it ... I've lived a long good life so what will be will be' [dad's words not mine]
Has it been staged?
Does dad have any cognitive impairments?
GF is 90. If he's in no pain, I'd leave it alone. I've seen many seniors die from the treatments, before the cancer itself killed them.
The treatments can be so horrible for them. They can spend the last parts of their lives suffering. And to what end?
I don't think it's worth it. If he's not in pain, let him be. If he is in pain, treat only the pain.
That's what I would do, regardless of the type or location of it.
Best of luck, just enjoy him.
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BUT, what does your father want to do? I ask that because when my DH had a cancer scare at 90, he wanted treatments if needed. Thankfully, it was not cancer. We pretty much stopped having him checked for cancers after that. Since he went through Chemo at age 80 for Colon Cancer, I didn't want him to have to do that ever again.
He continued to see the dermatologist twice a year for the pre-cancerous age spots. Those were frozen off.
You'll have to pretty much follow your father's wishes re: treatment. Why not look online for alternative measures? You can google it and today I would use that if I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I don't believe Chemo is the way to go personally, I really do think most of us are over-medicated.
Summerj, do you know what this person's wishes are regarding treatment? Is there a healthcare directive completed in the past?
Actually if he/the family decides no treatment then I would contact Hospice. (You can never go wrong in calling and getting someone on as early as possible)
You will have support,
You will get all the supplies you will need
You will get all the equipment that you need
You will have physical help in the form of a CNA as well as a weekly visit from a Nurse
You will also have the support of a Social Worker, a Chaplain as well as Volunteers if you choose to take advantage of these services.
Hospice will have necessary medications delivered
The main goal when it is necessary is to provide pain relief, comfort, support.
I think I still regret the decision I made to have a Melanoma removed from my Husbands head. I wonder if it would have made a difference in the 12 years of Dementia that we went through. (Never regret a decision that was made that seemed right at the time..)
She was having a double masectomy.
I wondered how much information she and her family had and how much money was shaping their decision.
My 60 year old niece had told me what she faced after surgery.
Of course i couldnt voice an opinion to the lady and her family.
I have a philosophy i call the road less travel. Yes i know there are other philosophies called that. This is mine ...
You have two choices ... one thing or another. You have to think awhile and chose the one you think youll regret the least later down the road.
At some time with the age involved no matter what you do tho youll need pallative care and/or hospice. They are 2 different things.
Within a month, a close friend of my mother's was diagnosed with brain cancer. Her friend took the opposite course from my mother's. Surgery, radiation, multiple rounds of chemotherapy.
A year and a half later, my mother and her dear friend flew away within six weeks of each other.
My mother's friend spent the last eighteen months of her life tethered to a cancer center that was a 45 minute drive away from home. She was constantly either in the hospital or making 4 to 6 trips per week to the center for "treatment". Her 85 year old husband barely survived the experience himself.
On the other hand, my mother had over a year of being healthy enough to come and go as she pleased, to enjoy doing the things she loved most to do before she became tenuously ill. Only the last few months of her life were marked by fatigue, shortness of breath, and pain. By then, she was on hospice care. Her symptoms were difficult but manageable. She died as she had wished, at home with my father, my brother and me at her side.
I can't tell you what's right for you and your family. I can tell you I have never been so relieved or so proud as I was the day my mother said, "Thanks for the info." and got away from doctors and cancer treatment as fast as she could run. You already know in your heart what is right; don't be afraid to listen.
Treatment may prolong his life, but to what extent? Would they even treat him?
there and she was never lonely.eleven years ago i lost my husband to lung cancer and he had chemotherapy and radiotherapy and was in agony from the treatment for over 12 months,in and out of hospital with no life at all. what im trying to say is mum was 96 years old and was kept calm and pain free ,my poor husband was 67 and in a lot of pain, and had no life for 12 months because of the treatment, iwould want to go the way of mum,peaceful.
On the other hand, my mother began to stand in death's door in her late 60s. She lived happily with lots of care doing things she loved 11 years longer than her doctors imagined. My Dad is 86 and suffers from FTD, a particularly cruel form of dementia. Every person ages differently and there are no cut-and-dried answers.
I understand well the concerns about general anesthetic in the elderly, particularly if there is dementia. I have gone to great lengths to avoid it for Dad (and super grateful to a hero surgeon who removed a nasty fast-growing squamous cell carcinoma from his temple using only local anesthetic). The subsequent radiation therapy took a toll on him, but he was back to baseline in a few months and enjoying life as he can now.
That said, even younger patients get Post Operative Cognitive Decline, and it usually clears within days or weeks. This might stretch to months with dementia patients and the elderly. Research this.
Sometimes it is cruel to put a fragile elderly person through surgery or other medical treatments, especially if they are unlikely to survive the treatment of have miserable quality of life afterward. Other times, it is worth it and the patient enjoys more years of life and health.
I know it is hard to get hold of and pin down the doctors and surgeons in the hospital, but if you want to be confident in your decision, do try and do some research first and ask them lots of questions.
If you decide surgery, etc., Is not in his best interest, then you can research says to make him more comfortable and keep the colon cancer somewhat at bay (and control the diarrhea). Things like butyrate and bioavailable curcumin come to mind.
It really all depends on your father's attitude, state of health, and other health issues. I know this is really hard for you and wish you the best! More info would be helpful, if you want tailored advice.
My 92 year old aunt played golf everyday and was diagnosed with Merkel cell skin cancer (rare, worse than melanoma, usually fatal). Her dermatologist believed it shouldn’t be treated & told her radiation would cause her teeth to fall out (tumor was on her chin). We wasted precious time - she had a strong will to live and waited to seek a second opinion with a dr who treats this cancer. What the research shows is that elderly folks who are relatively healthy can withstand radiation (chemo’s a different matter). In the case of Merkel Cell skin cancer, radiation is very effective if started immediately (within a few days of diagnosis). I know someone whose 85 year old grandmother was treated correctly after a Merkel Cell diagnosis and lived another five years, dying of something unrelated to the Merkel Cell skin cancer.
Best answer - do the research. Some patients will want treatment. Lots of variables when it comes to recommending cancer treatment for seniors.
I believe that the reason we have so much more cancer now a days is antibiotics because IF YOU DON'T DIE AT 6 OR 12 OR 17 OR 35 ETC DUE TO INFECTION MEANS YOU CAN LIVE LONG ENOUGH TO GET CANCER IN YOUR OLD AGE - our chances of hitting 80 are great & 90 is good as well but basically we actually have to die of something AT SOME TIME
I don't mean to make light of your dad's situation but just want you to see a perspective on it - I really hope your dad does as well with his that my dad did but be prepared that people in their 90's are knowledgeable about the side affects of radition & chemo so may allow some surgery [like dad did] but will refuse anything further treatment because they know that they don't want months of therapy that makes their life miserable in the short run .... they know it won't be a 25 year run so will go with comfort in the short time - the type & kind of cancer need to be known but some will say 'to hell with it ... I've lived a long good life so what will be will be' [dad's words not mine]