Cancer at age 90. Any advice?
Asked by Summerj
My father, age 90, has just been diagnosed. Can anyone give advice?
Answers 1 to 10 of 10
Sort by
Top Answer
GF is 90. If he's in no pain, I'd leave it alone. I've seen many seniors die from the treatments, before the cancer itself killed them.
The treatments can be so horrible for them. They can spend the last parts of their lives suffering. And to what end?
I don't think it's worth it. If he's not in pain, let him be. If he is in pain, treat only the pain.
That's what I would do, regardless of the type or location of it.
Best of luck, just enjoy him.
Within a month, a close friend of my mother's was diagnosed with brain cancer. Her friend took the opposite course from my mother's. Surgery, radiation, multiple rounds of chemotherapy.
A year and a half later, my mother and her dear friend flew away within six weeks of each other.
My mother's friend spent the last eighteen months of her life tethered to a cancer center that was a 45 minute drive away from home. She was constantly either in the hospital or making 4 to 6 trips per week to the center for "treatment". Her 85 year old husband barely survived the experience himself.
On the other hand, my mother had over a year of being healthy enough to come and go as she pleased, to enjoy doing the things she loved most to do before she became tenuously ill. Only the last few months of her life were marked by fatigue, shortness of breath, and pain. By then, she was on hospice care. Her symptoms were difficult but manageable. She died as she had wished, at home with my father, my brother and me at her side.
I can't tell you what's right for you and your family. I can tell you I have never been so relieved or so proud as I was the day my mother said, "Thanks for the info." and got away from doctors and cancer treatment as fast as she could run. You already know in your heart what is right; don't be afraid to listen.
BUT, what does your father want to do? I ask that because when my DH had a cancer scare at 90, he wanted treatments if needed. Thankfully, it was not cancer. We pretty much stopped having him checked for cancers after that. Since he went through Chemo at age 80 for Colon Cancer, I didn't want him to have to do that ever again.
He continued to see the dermatologist twice a year for the pre-cancerous age spots. Those were frozen off.
You'll have to pretty much follow your father's wishes re: treatment. Why not look online for alternative measures? You can google it and today I would use that if I was ever diagnosed with cancer. I don't believe Chemo is the way to go personally, I really do think most of us are over-medicated.
Has it been staged?
Does dad have any cognitive impairments?
