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I am new here and I am posting at the suggestion of my therapist.


I was the caretaker of my father for two years and since his death, I have been the caretaker for my mother for nearly eight years. She has dementia and COPD. Because of the severity of different health problems her physical health is actually better now then it was years ago. However, her mental decline is more advanced. So I have been unable to work this whole time caring for her and keeping her company. My only outside contact has been with my brother who comes by one day a week for two hours and my sister who comes by three days a week. I have no friends left. So I have been living in the caretaker limbo.


This last winter I got so bad I nearly had a breakdown of some kind. I was scary close to reaching my limit. I decided I needed help and made an appointment with my doctor, got started on antidepressants and started seeing a therapist. So I am here at her suggestion. She said I need more contact with people besides the few who are related to me. She wants me to find at least two caregiver support forums and post to them. So long story short (TOO LATE!) here I am.


Can anyone suggest some other sites like this? I have not had the best of luck. I found some that seem ok but do not have posts since 2010.


Any help would be greatly appreciated, thank you.

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Dear Silveron,

I'm glad you found us. This is an active site and a great place to get and give support.

I'm not aware of another site but I would think that there's bound to be one out there. Hopefully someone will come along who knows of another site.

Good for you for taking steps to take care of your emotional health. Caregiving is very isolating. We're social creatures who need other people. My dad is gone now but when I cared for him I felt very isolated and if I accidently found myself in a social conversation I felt I had nothing to offer. And I'm talking about polite chit-chat on line at the grocery store or something like that. It's like all of my social skills had deteriorated and I felt awkward and isolated and depressed. But those skills were there the whole time, I just hadn't been using them.

Welcome to agingcare. Post often. Reply to others. Get involved!
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shad250 Aug 2018
Nothing wrong with being by yourself.
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have you ever tried any adult day care centers? you can try doing a search with the pull down menu on the top right.
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Silveron Aug 2018
I have thought about this. Past IBS and her COPD makes her not want to leave the house.
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In my experience there are no other sites quite as active or diverse as AgingCare but you might take a look at caring.com.
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I second cwillie's suggestion to try caring.com. (This site is better, though.)

Tell us more, though...why did you end up being the one to give up your job to take care of your parents? Are you getting compensation? I'm assuming that your brother and sister were able to keep their jobs? How old is your mother? How old are you?

So often the caregivers give up their financial future (as well as their physical and mental health) when they become elder caregivers. Are you satisfied with the situation?

You started antidepressants and are seeing a therapist. I hope the therapist has more ideas on how to help you other than finding caregiver support forums.
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Silveron Aug 2018
I am the youngest of five yet somehow I became the family caretaker. I used to go to my grandfathers on the weekends in high school to help out. When my niece was born, it was the time the news was constant stories of daycare abuse, I was asked to stay at home and take care of her, I thought sure a few months of that wouldn't be bad. That turned into five years. When my father started getting sick I was expected to take care of him. Then after he died it was automatically expected for me to move with my mother and continue to take care of her.

I think part of it is I am the only one not married with kids. They figured I am free to go it but idk now it happened and I am the one it happen too.
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Like CTTN I hope you take advantage of the forum to find some actual support, not just as a means to tick a box on your "homework assignment".
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Silveron Aug 2018
I plan too. I spent a while reading other posts. It took me a while to figure out how to get back to my post. I wish this had a standard forum format.
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