Can I receive funds if i take care of my mother my self?

Go to your state Web site under "aging services" or some related heading and follow the links. You should find local contact information there. I wish there were more funding available to pay family caregivers, but for now it's spotty. We can hope that will improve as we are recognized for our contributions.
Take care,
Carol

I can't afford to stay home and take care of my father, if I put him in a home, then the state pays for it, is there something wrong with this picture?

What's wrong with this picture is that the dynamics of our culture have changed radically, while the laws have not.

If you google "family member rule", you might find this relevant hit re Compensating Caregiving Relatives:

"The law presumes that a person who performs a valuable service for another will be compensated. However, a limited exception to this principle exists when the services are performed between family members. This exception, also known as the family member rule, is a nineteenth century creation that arose from the courts' understanding of the dynamics of the nineteenth century household. However, the household of the nineteenth century has all but disappeared from contemporary society. With the disappearance of this household, the issue that arises is whether the family member rule is still necessary. ..."

You have to pay to get access to the whole document, but it might be worth it just to know what the legal advocates are thinking.

It appears that the momentum for change has been blocked by our wrecked ecomony. Otherwise more states would follow the lead of New Hamphire and Vermont.

Medicaid seems to not get any "government discount" wrt to nursing home payments, so big-picture-wise, this seems like a no-brainer. Except that controlling fraud might be a problem. Maybe the key is to see how New Hamphire, Vermont, etc. think they are doing so far.