Can you charge an elderly disabled parent to live in your home?

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My mom is in Nurs. home for recent broken hip. Medicare will no longer pay for care. If she stays there, will be paying $300/day out of pocket, and within 4 months all her funds will be gone (will have to apply for medicaid).
We are instead looking to bring her to our house to live. I am a nurse and would have to take a leave from my job as she is unsafe to stay alone (some dementia and unable to walk alone). HIring an aide to come in for all the hours I am gone is not an option.
Can we charge her monthly rent/board to cover all of the extra expenses we will have and providing her care, and all services-- laundry, transport, all meals, supervision, etc.? (would be less then what she receives monthly in pensions. not touching her small savings)
If she would need to apply to medicaid in the future, would that be a legitimate expense? (she would be paying over $8000/month to stay in nursing home, over $3000/month if in assisted living) .

Answers 1 to 10 of 19
I don't know of anything that would prevent you from charging room/board etc to your parent. I would however be very careful. Is your mother still alert and oriented? Is she able to give consent to spend her money? Are there siblings/family that might view it as your "taking advantage"? As far as legitimate expense for Medicaid approval, you would need to contact your local DSS to speak with an eligibility worker, or you can visit the website and read the policy for yourself.
Thank you Bobbi for your reply.
She is quite forgetful and unsafe to be left alone (even for an hour or so). She is in need of 24 hr supervision (even at night she can tend to get up / wander / history of falls). Any place that she would go at this time would cost much more then what she is bringing in monthly (small amt with SS and pension). Her savings would be drained in a very small amt of time.

Yes, there are family members that would say this is taking advantage, although no other family is willing to do the same. They will not help in any way, and all the responsibility will totally be on my husband and I.
She is unable to live on her own, would have to pay for rent in her own apt., and then also have to pay to have 24 hr caregivers with her (or go into a nursing facility).

If she lives here without paying, then her pension would just be going monthly into her savings with us paying for everything. Just not sure that is fair scenario, while we pay for everything pertaining to her living with us in our home. Difficult to determine and it sounds very bad to "charge a parent to live with you" however there are alot of expenses that come with someone living in your home and caring for them constantly.
hELLO HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF A ADULT FAMILY HOME? i KNOW MYSELF I ACCEPT WHAT THE PERSON CAN AFFORD..AND YOU CAN BE QUITE SUPRISED AT THE ALTERNATIVE..THAT MIGHT HELP YOU NOT HAVE TO TAKE LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM WORK SINCE WORKS HARD FOR PEOPLE TO GET NOW ADAYS..
It sounds like you mother would benefit greatly from living in an Adult Foster Home contact your local DHS for a list of homes in your area. I own and operate a home in Albany, Oregon. All homes are licensed throught the state in which they are located. Your mom can pay privatley or through medicaid. You will find out all your options from Senior Services. Good luck!
can I rent out my parents home once they have moved into assisted living? I want to sell it so they will have the funds for their needs, but the market is so down now. The home is paid for
I have POA in Oregon. Can I pay myself for caring for my dad in our home? If so, what is an accepted amount? My sister & I do not see eye to eye. She has threatened she would sue me if I used the money to pay my husband & I for caring for my dad. My dad had a stroke & has Alzheimers. He has been living with us for about 2 weeks now & wants to stay. Sadly we are not in the financial position to pay for the extra utilities. Dad requires 24/7 care.
Top Answer
Luvmydad, of course your dad can pay you for care, just as he would have to pay if professionals came in. Do some research and find out how much it would cost to place him in a care center at the level of care he needs, and also how much it would cost to have professionals come in to your house (or his) to provide care. I'm not suggesting that you use this to set your own fee, but it would be background information for your sister. I don't understand how family members think a loved one's need to pay for basics cease when they move in with a son or daughter. It costs everyone something to live. Why should you alone provide this for Dad out of your pocket?

Because there may be family conflict, and because it may be necessary to apply for Medicaid in the future, I advise you to keep very careful records of your expenses on his behalf -- trips to doctors, incontence supplies, whatever. And also to put the care and payment arrangement in writing. Realize that you also sometimes need to pay a professional caregiver, unless your sister is willing to provide respite care so that you can get away regularly. No one can do this 24/7/365.

Whew! Someone else gets it! Thanks for the good advice. This all just happened 2 weeks ago and has been so stressful. My sister lives thousands of miles away of course. Thanks to us my dad has been able to live on his own the past 2 years.
Please make sure you know what your getting into when you invite a parent to move in with you. Even if they are well now it won't be long before they will need care and lots of it. Do not expect other family member to jump in and give you a break--that just won't happen. However if there is any money they will be first in line. I have been doing this for years, my father doesn't want to go to a nursing home. My sibling who lives next door in a house my father paid for just about makes it over to feed him lunch if he doesn't forget. I am in the process now after five long years hiring some outside help. It can be very draining.
my mom does not want to go into a nursing home so she takes turns living at 3 of our homes She is in agreement with the situation and knows from caring for her own mom how difficult it can be. Her resources are such that the caregiver gets $70. a day . She pays for medicine and depends. We switch homes every 21-28 days. There are 8 children and only 3 of us can take her in their home. This is a lot cheaper for her and it gives us the incentive to give her what she wants. Other siblings know how challenging the project and have not disputed because they are not able or do mot want the responsibility. One of us has to hire some outside help because of work schedule for which mom pays $10. an hour. We have now cared for Mom for 5 years.

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