I suffer from anxiety disorder and depression. Taking care of my mom with Alzheimers dried all my emotional health. I think if it were not for my faith in God, I can't make it. Yesterday I asked my psychiatrist that if a person diagnosed with anxiety and depression could take care for someone with altzhemeirs. He replied that if I could not contemplate the idea of putting her into an Altzeimers care. I'm Hispanic and my culture the elderly are with the family until their death. Another thing being her only child and for her being so attached to me, I feel extremely guilty to contemplate the idea of an altzeimer's care. Yesterday was 2 am in the morning when my husband hear a noise and was her getting onto the shower at that time. The new obsession is bathing, every time she goes to the bathroom she needs to wash herself. There is water all over the floor. I feel like I'm drowning, I do not have patience and the guilt is killing me. I have 3 days that she goes to an adult facility, other than that I have no other escape. Apart from my disorder I suffer from liver disorder, heart disorder, IBS, Arthritis and GERD. Today I was in need to vent because I believe that I can't not more.
I can tell you that it is a very challenging and trying experience to provide in home care for a person with dementia. I provided all care for my cousin for less than a month and it was the most stressful time of my life. Even when they are in a facility, they require so much time and attention from family members.
It sounds like you also have many medical problems too. My opinion is that most people don't understand the issues that are involved with caring for a person with Alzheimers or Dementia. The problem is not just that the person can't remember things. It's much more. The person may be agitated, destroy property, injure themselves, run away, talk incessantly or refuse to get out of bed, not be able to walk, eat or go to the bathroom. It's a huge roller coaster ride. IMO, it takes a team to properly care for these patients at a certain stage.
I would carefully evaluate where your mom might get the best care. You may be getting her the best care by finding a place that can help her around the clock.
There is no way you can be relaxed and be fresh working 168 hours [24x7] a week watching over your Mom. Not everyone is cut out to be a Caregiver, no different than not everyone is cut out to be a brain surgeon, a firefighter, or an airplane controller. What you do is exhausting which isn't good on your health, believe me I know. And please don't forget that 1 out of every 3 Caregiver dies leaving behind their love one.... who continues to live on for many more years.