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horselover im with hevnbnd i would check her for a U.T.I them seems the signs for that but if you do not go to the dr with your mother i would make a appt witht the dr yourself and talk to him and let him know what is going on. sounds like a mixture of both to me but a U.T.I. could set it off more
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Dementia is more common. She needs to be diagnosed by her Dr. My grandmother has symptoms similar to your moms. Dehydration can cause mental symptoms. Push water, juice fruits and veggies if possible. You can't MAKE them drink or eat more, but you can certainly try. My grandmother refused to drink enough and ended up in the hospital with some dehydration and a mild urinary tract infection. She has some dementia but functions pretty well overall, but I can't make her do something she doesn't want to do. The hospital staff kind of gave me the side-eye, like I wasn't taking proper care of her or something. At some point, it goes beyond just taking care of them and becomes a matter of protecting yourself legally from the backwash of dementia related issues. Best of luck.
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Those were the symptoms we first noticed with my father who eventually died with Alz.
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MOM NEEDS TO BE DIAGNOSED BY A MD, NURSE PRACTICTIONER, PHYSICIAN'S ASSISTANT,ETC IN THIS LIFETIME ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE BUT I WOULD DEFINITELY GET 2 TO 3 OPINIONS
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thank you for your apology.
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caregiver63, I'm sorry if I came across as nasty. I truely did NOT mean to. Please don't take this as an attack. I was just trying to say that a UTI could cause alot of different personality changes. truce????
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And, UTI can also contribute to other ailments including stroke. Dementia is complex. Not all of us know about medicine. Yet we appreciate the opportunity to learn to better help others.
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Whatever.......you needn't be so nasty.......
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caregiver 63, If you've never heard of a UTI making an older person behave this way then you must have not been around any that had 1. My MIL went "WILD" kicking doors biting my husband, trying to hit me with a hammer etc. because we wouldn't let her out of the house when everthing was icy. She also would hide things and accuse someone of stealing from her (minor things like can biscuits). She would refuse her meds because she said we were trying to kill her. I could go on and on but I'll stop here and tell you, when her infections cleared up--she loved and appreciated us taking such good care of her. And btw--it's then that I'm 'better than any of her kids to her and she loves me as much as her own kids.' I have a support group at church and this seems to be a very common problem with older people when they have a UTI. The geriatric Dr. will tell you this also.
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It is a very good idea to communicate with your mom's doctor if nothing more than to educate him/her concerning her health. You aren't asking for information, rather, you are telling. The doctor is under no legal obligation to tell the patient from whence information has been obtained and the doctor should reaspect your request for privacy.
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I agree with all of the replies above ~ so much valuable information. On a personal note, I was in a similar situation with my Mom and her doctor. I finally wrote him a letter. In it, I told him that I understood doctor/patient confidentiality laws but that I wanted him to be aware of what I was seeing since I knew he only saw my Mom a few times a year ~ and when he did she was fairly capable of masking many of the symptoms. I asked him to keep my letter confidential (and in your case you can explain why since your Mom has threatened to no longer interact with you). He and I never spoke about the letter but he did perform memory/cognition tests on my mother the next time he saw her which ultimately led to determining she was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. Of course she denied it and flushed the Aricept down the toilet...but that's a story for another day. Good luck ~ and keep reaching out to others for advice and support. It will sustain you in the days/months ahead. Warm hugs ~
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Chad - keep in mind that with the enactment of health care privacy laws unless you have legal authority to access a patients information, physicians, hospitals or any health care facility CANNOT give you any information. If you ask for it and cannot show legal authority, they are required to let the patient know that has been requested by an outside source although they do not have to let the pt. know who requested the information. He is not being a snitch.

If horselover's mom says to the receptionist, I don't want my daughter, son, niece, whatever with me, they have to keep you
from going into the room with them. If you persist, they can have you removed from their office or facility as you have no legal standing. It's not pretty and sometimes doesn't make any sense but that's the law.

IMHO suing for "evaluative" malpractice is a waste of time & money as it would need all kinds of experts to "win". You would need a Brooke Astor size estate to make it worth the expense.
Now suing for "surgical" malpractice is different.
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Someone earlier mentioned Lewy-body dementia. It is a very real thing and is similar to the common dementia. I don't know a lot about it, but it is worth looking into.
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Well, it does sound like there are underlying issues here. Someone needs power of atty for health care. It gives the doctor permission to disclose everything to you (and only you).
I have never heard of any UTI making someone behave the way your mom is. Perhaps - bi-polar?? That can really complicate things for you and your mom (behaviorally).
Get further testing or perhaps find a gerontologist. (That's a doctor that specialized in elderly patients).
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If your mother is sound, she does not need to include you in anything. Keep in mind that a power of attorney must be executed prior to impairment. Take it easy with your mother and get on her good side. Memory changes can take place over a long period of time. Prior posts are good because there are some curable causes for personality changes. Obviously, your doctor is a snitch which is no help. He did not need to tell your mom about your interest. If the mood changes continue, much longer, I would recommend another chat with her doctor and tell him that he is not to rat you out. The key is to express concern. A good doctor would appreciate input to better care for their patients. Just state your observations and the facts. And, persist if the symptoms continue. Do keep a record of your contacts with the doctor and be prepared to gom after him for malpractice if your mother who now seems to be mentally ok does develop dementia prior to executing a POA.
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She may have Lewy Body Dementia. That's what my mom has. It's similar to ALZ but much easier to miss. Unlike ALZ,
LBD are very high functioning until they have an episode. It may be weeks between them so she does well in her IL as
she can walk, get dressed, make breakfast, shop, etc on her own and unaided. She can do the cognitive tests really well - the draw the clock and knowledge of current events ones.

Then all hell breaks loose for a couple of days in which she gets very combative, super paranoid (has called the police)and see's things (among other things... cats & a rabbit - these are non threatening and she doesn't remember after a day or so),
people are using her apt as an office when she goes for lunch or on an outing, her neighbor is running a catering business, the cookies have poison, etc. Lots of scary but very specific hallucinations as opposed to being confused. This lasts maybe 2 maybe 3 days. But other than those days from the outside, it all looks amazingly good for someone in their 90's.

Like vascular dementia, judgement goes before memory.
Her episodes are getting closer & closer and we (MD & me)
figure that within the next year she will be at the SNF level
as the decline can really snowball and gets really bad.

Who is DPOA & MPOA for your mom? You can get them to
authorize you to be their proxy in most states. It should be
done by elder care attorney. So figure out what ever else needs to be drawn up to get the most out of your appointment.

I'm assuming that your family is all Kumbaya and works together for mom's care. If that's not the case, then you might want to see an elder care attorney anyways just to find out what you can and can't do. If nobody has POA's and she's at this stage, this can be a real nightmare as she will not allow anyone to do for her but is not of sound mind to do for herself but legally you can't do anything or get any information on her health status. If this is the case, you may have to look into having her placed in a conservatorship or guardianship. These are pretty complex with lots of paperwork & state/county oversight involved, so an experienced elder care attorney who lives in the city where she lives needs to do this.

My mom told her gerontologist that she didn't want them to speak to me ever. Found this out when I went to change her appointment. MD was easy fix as I just faxed DPOA over

Good luck
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She could have a urinary track infection. That causes this type of behavior in an other wise healthy older person. You can buy a test kit at most Walmarts, Kroger, and Walgreens. This can avoid trying to get her to the Dr. to be checked but she will have to take antibotics if it shows postive. If left untreated she could get seriously sick. I won't go into all the details but, if she does have 1 and you get her on antibotics, test her again after she completes the meds to make sure it did clear it up. I didn't realize I should have done this and my MIL seemed to get them over and over. She got really sick. She has been in the hosp now for 3 weeks. Good luck and may GOD bless you.
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Look up vascular dementia - it is very different form Alzheimer's, and judgement can defintiely become impaired before memory, particularly long-term memory. And I wish you luck with trying to get anything done under the circumstances. I would take care to make sure your name is off any charge accounts or other debts your mom may be incurring, My cousin really got nailed on that with her mom, who *used to* pay all her bills exactly on time...and seemed to be "OK", started hoarding, but no trouble at all recognizing people and was doing crosswords and such right up till she passed on from a probable heart attack.
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Can you go to the doctors with your mother??? If so I would try to get him on the side and let him know that your mother is having certain issues and you think she needs to be assessed..
Good Luck
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I did talk with her doctor who could only listen as I am not on my mother's med release form. This is going to be very difficult as my mother insists she is perfectly okay and forbids me from getting involved. When she learned I had spoken with her doctor, my mother said she would never speak to me again. Her next appointment isn't until January and I am wondering how we will get a neurological assessment done...
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Have you spoken to her doctor? Has she been tested? There are a few different forms and stages of ALZ. I would start with her doctor by going to an appointment with her or at least a phone call with them as well as a medicine review. She could have a medicine interaction as well. Could be several things going on.
Blessings,
Bridget
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