My grandpa is 102 and was just dc home he lives alone still and he chooses to. He gets around with a walker slowly but does. If we hire an aide and they see he has difficulty getting around can he be forced into a home?
An aide can make observations but not medical ones to the point that someone can be forced to move elsewhere. And the aide, unless a mandated reporter, has no legal authority over your GP. He or she can report to a higher authority, which might want to come out and do an evaluation, but difficulty getting around is something many elders face.
I think evaluating whoever you hire is more important. Find someone, or an agency, that respects his desire to remain home and will work toward that goal.
Frankly, if he's 102 and manages at home with a walker, I think I'd be focusing on supporting him in his own environment. Unless he has really serious medical problems and/or there are other factors, but is mentally stable as the title of your post indicates, I think I'd be proud of him and support him by respecting his wishes.
Forgive me, but I'm a bit confused. You say your husband is bi-polar, paranoid and narcissistic and that he's had a brain bleed, but you say his brain is ok. You also said he's hasn't been abusive, but you say he's grabbed your arms. Any time a man puts his hands on a woman in anger, that's abuse in my opinion. As his mental issues worsen he could ramp it up and lose control. You say he almost came across the table at you in a restaurant. Also, the way he treats you is verbal abuse.
Granted, he is probably in pain with his various physical issues. I'm sure that affects his mind-set as well. He can't take it out on anyone but you, mostly because you tolerate it. It's easy for us to say "get out" and I've been given that advice too, as well as putting my bedridden husband in a nursing home. But for a lot of reasons, neither one of those options would work for me. Would they work for you? Before you crash and lose your own health, maybe you should visit a lawyer and ask what legal options you have regarding your husband and his sons. More than likely, they don't step up because they know you will. If they're forced to, I'll bet they will. You can also call adult protective services for help. Basically, your future depends on you. What you are doing is noble, but martyrdom has no rewards. It doesn't seem anyone appreciates what you're doing. I'm in the same situation caring for my husband. He's pretty easy going, but if he became verbally or physically abusive, I'd find a way to institutionalize him.
OP As long as GF is clean, fed and cared for I see no problem. The house clean too. An aide could report but conditions would have to be extreme for Adult Services to do anything.
I think evaluating whoever you hire is more important. Find someone, or an agency, that respects his desire to remain home and will work toward that goal.
Frankly, if he's 102 and manages at home with a walker, I think I'd be focusing on supporting him in his own environment. Unless he has really serious medical problems and/or there are other factors, but is mentally stable as the title of your post indicates, I think I'd be proud of him and support him by respecting his wishes.
And kudos to him for being so hardy!
Granted, he is probably in pain with his various physical issues. I'm sure that affects his mind-set as well. He can't take it out on anyone but you, mostly because you tolerate it. It's easy for us to say "get out" and I've been given that advice too, as well as putting my bedridden husband in a nursing home. But for a lot of reasons, neither one of those options would work for me. Would they work for you? Before you crash and lose your own health, maybe you should visit a lawyer and ask what legal options you have regarding your husband and his sons. More than likely, they don't step up because they know you will. If they're forced to, I'll bet they will. You can also call adult protective services for help. Basically, your future depends on you. What you are doing is noble, but martyrdom has no rewards. It doesn't seem anyone appreciates what you're doing. I'm in the same situation caring for my husband. He's pretty easy going, but if he became verbally or physically abusive, I'd find a way to institutionalize him.
As long as GF is clean, fed and cared for I see no problem. The house clean too. An aide could report but conditions would have to be extreme for Adult Services to do anything.
I'm really doubtful that would happen.