Hi Everyone,
It's been a very rough year since I was last on these forums. My marriage fell apart, all the support services for my parents at their independent living apartments have been removed, and my mom is declining rapidly where memory and physical ability are concerned. We are in the process of moving mom and dad in with me, but their needs have ramped up so far that I am doing 99% of their big daily care while still living in my marital home while we finalize the divorce. I am also currently the primary caregiver for my high functioning autistic daughter.
Have any of you been paid as your parents primary caregiver? Mom and dad do not currently qualify for Medicaid, and my research shows that I can't get paid through the state of MI. My divorce will dictate that I prove employment as soon as it is final, and I CAN NOT work full time, care for my daughter, AND care for my parents. We can not afford to put them in a care facility, and mom's neuropsychological testing for Alzheimers/dementia isn't until June, or maybe September... there's confusion as to when the appt even is. I am currently handling all their bills that aren't automated, buying groceries, preparing their main meal (my dad can make snacks, but not feed them full meals that aren't microwaved), cleaning, managing meds, taking them to appts, handling any doctor/medical calls/emails, keeping up with mom's physical therapy exercise, and doing their laundry, as well as supporting them mentally and emotionally as their world has changed so drastically.
I've looked into getting paid by the state, and again, because they don't qualify for Medicaid, I don't THINK I am eligible for being paid through our CHAMPS program. It would have to be a contract between me and my parents and I want to do it legally and stay above board.
Can anyone give me thoughts or insight into how to do this?
Thanks!
I would advise you to go to a lawyer who specialized in estate planning and elder law. The lawyer can draw up legal contracts stating what care you will be providing and what your pay will be. You will be working a legal job. This means you pay taxes on your wages and do everything above board. This will be your job. You need to have your parents' doctor confirm in writing the level of care they need. If it's live-in care (someone there 24/7) then the doctor must attest to this in writing. Then you go to the lawyer.
It's a lot of legwork, but not impossible. Being your parents' caregiver can be your actual job. Start with going to see their doctor.
As for living will and POA, that's one reason I'm contacting the attorney. My sister is giving grief already about how I "MIGHT" use their money, and causing a stink about simple care decisions from 3000 miles away. I want to be sure she can't accuse me of coercing them to do anything.