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Spouse has never made a will and is in bad shape in a rehab facility after 2 falls in early September; PT will continue for 1.5 more weeks and then a decision would be made re his care, either to home or LTC on private pay + Medicare/Medicaid. Spouse just can't do what PT wants him to do because it hurts too much; he attended to his own health through over 20 years' of constantly accumulating issues and IMO just ran out of steam. I applaud his care of himself up to this point and pity him now. PT says 'he can sit for 30 seconds at the edge of the bed' and then asks to stop.


My thought is that I make a new will updating my 11/2/90 will, in hopes of inspiring Spouse to make his own. I'm unsure if this'll work as a tactic. It couldn't hurt and needs to happen anyway because folks named in the old will have passed.


A complication is that Spouse has 1 child 16 years older than mine from his previous marriage. I've a good relationship with her and wish that to continue; I also hope to avoid any sort of probate or dispute. Any help appreciated.

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All wills must go through probate.
If your spouse has other issue and has not made a will, then the state will divide the estate between you and his issue according to the laws of the state.
You and your spouse, or you alone, should see an attorney, Trust and Estate, and get questions answered and options according to the laws of your State. It is a shame he doesn't want to do this. But whatever the case with that you need to know and understand the law.
Yes, you can appoint anyone you like as executor, even if they are to inherit part or all of the estate.
wishing you the best.
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MargaretMcKen Nov 2021
Yes, executors can inherit, but inheritors shouldn't witness the will.
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Maybe ask your son first if he wants to be the executor. If you have a sizable or complicated estate it may be a big undertaking, especially while grieving. If you have an attorney you can designate them to be the executor, assuming that's a service they offer. My brother was the executor of our parents estate and it was excessively time consuming and stressful, and I would have agreed in a heartbeat if he wanted to step down and hire a lawyer instead.
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pronker Nov 2021
Excellent thought about asking him first, thanks. He's terribly upset about his dad's condition,
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Yes he can.

I hope this works well for you to get him encouraged to get his done.

Pronker, I would check your states minimum estate value, because probate is NOT needed if an estate has a low value, it is done through affidavits and saves alot of money.

Especially easy if all beneficiaries are fine with your wishes and don't want to contest the will. If someone contests it is an entirely different situation and gets expensive.

I am so sorry about your husband's situation. You doing okay?
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pronker Nov 2021
Thanks for the well wishes and yes, I'm in fair shape. I've had numerous nightmares and try to rest in between them; not sleeping well is part and parcel of being 68, ha, unless I take a benadryl or similar thing like that supplement that aids sleep.
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Pronker, yes, he can be Executor.   But to step back for a moment, consider your assets and if any of them can be held jointly with your son.  If so, they'll pass directly to him w/o probate involvement.  

I think the fact that previous (potential) heirs have passed is a very valid reason to update a will.  However, it can also be done by a codicil (amendment), w/o rewriting the entire will.   This might depend on whether or not estate related laws have changed, and would need to be incorporated into a current will.

Do you wish to add your spouse's child from the previous marriage as an heir to your estate?
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pronker Nov 2021
Wonderful suggestion and this holiday weekend ought to open up a conversation about joint holdings and codicils. No, Step-Daughter married well, as the saying goes, and needs no funds, IMHO, so I don't want to include her as an heir. My priority is family wellbeing and seeing that my son receives his inheritance.
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