My dad has 2 children. I am the oldest. for convenience mostly, my sister has legal power of attorney.My sister has had POA for several years. is it too late for my dad to give me poa? He is disabled but is lucid and able to make decisions etc.
Does your dad want you to have POA? Is there some reason you feel you can do a better job then your sister who has been performing the duty for several years?
It is possible to name more than one person to act jointly as POA, but it can be a real nightmare getting both signatures on everything.
Some dual POAs can work "jointly or severally", meaning either can act without the other, this is how my mother's POA is worded.
Some POAs will name a primary with a secondary person as back up if the primary resigns or is unable to act for some reason.
It is always better if the family can work as a team no matter who has POA.
GA, you know my story, cared for my mom and her hubby for four years. I did not have POA for mom but was second in case something happened to sis. I had little trouble acting in Mom's behalf medically. Now I am out of the picture, sis NEVER updates me on mom even when I ask.
It is solely the POWER of one in a very dysfunctional family!
thank you. no, we aren't working as a team. She does what she wants and keeps me out of the loop. Dad hospitalized again today. I wasn't notified. The home said sister has POA so they don't have to tell me. there are many reasons I want equal rights/power.
If your Dad is physically disabled but lucid it is up to him. If by lucid you only mean he can carry on conversation and recognizes people, but has cognitive impairment it might not be. (Have incapacity letters been written by physicians? - if his capacity can be questioned, getting an attorney involved would be ideal.) He might at least want to execute a HIPAA release allowing you to ask for information, but the sister with a heathcare POA might be able to override that and might try to, unless she sees it in her best interest to avoid conflict with you. Sorry this is happening this way in your family!
What we have in my family is one sibling with POA and all three of us with Medical PoA ( lawyer advised against but that's what mom wanted) and of course we all have HIPAA releases. We can all talk to doctors and get information about mom's care.
Would your sister object to a HIPAA release for you being signed by dad? Why does she object to you knowing his medical condition and whereabouts.
Flajerr, I assume you're tried to discuss this with your sister and reach a level of agreement that at least you're notified of his hospitalization and medical conditions?
Giving her the benefit of a doubt, though, he might have suddenly developed whatever condition caused the hospitalization and your sister didn't think about notifications - she may only have thought of getting him treatment.
This is a legitimate issue; I've been asked by neighbors to notify them of emergencies so they're up to date, but when it's time to call 911, that IS my focus, not notifying others; they get calls after I come home from the hospital.
Is withholding of information characteristic of the relationship between her and you?
Knowledge is power, and I think withholding information on the father's condition gives the proxy power over the poster. I suspect there's a backstory to this situation and that control has a role in it.
"It is solely the POWER of one in a very dysfunctional family! " you hit the nail on the head. so what do I do? dad suffered no cognitive damage. he can be asked to decide this or that. should I press to have his lawyer draw up new papers? dad says he cant remember lawyers name (just normal memory issue). of course, he could press sister to have it done. i think she has gotten him to do what she wants. she wants no oversight over the money either. before his stroke, I found (by having him print some statements while he visited me) that she was taking out $2,000/month to pay her mortgage. So much for financial guardianship!. hopefully her medical oversight is better.
It is possible to name more than one person to act jointly as POA, but it can be a real nightmare getting both signatures on everything.
Some dual POAs can work "jointly or severally", meaning either can act without the other, this is how my mother's POA is worded.
Some POAs will name a primary with a secondary person as back up if the primary resigns or is unable to act for some reason.
It is always better if the family can work as a team no matter who has POA.
It is solely the POWER of one in a very dysfunctional family!
Would your sister object to a HIPAA release for you being signed by dad? Why does she object to you knowing his medical condition and whereabouts.
Giving her the benefit of a doubt, though, he might have suddenly developed whatever condition caused the hospitalization and your sister didn't think about notifications - she may only have thought of getting him treatment.
This is a legitimate issue; I've been asked by neighbors to notify them of emergencies so they're up to date, but when it's time to call 911, that IS my focus, not notifying others; they get calls after I come home from the hospital.
Is withholding of information characteristic of the relationship between her and you?