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The POA says I can transact real estate business. She has severe dementia and is in assisted living but wants to come home and would never agree to sell her home. Can I sell her home and put proceeds in her account to help pay for her bills? She was able to pass her latest dementia tests (although its documented that she had severe dementia by several doctors in the past several years). I think she has memorized the answers (like the year and who is president). All the docs agree she should never return home for her own safety and she is where she needs to be. She thinks we are her enemy and will not talk with my husband and I (who are her only relatives). In the meantime, we are funding the Asssisted living but can't do that for much longer.

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At this pointbin your Moms Dementia, its not whatvshe wants its what she needs. She will never go home again. And home could be where she grew up. You tell her nothing, you just do it.

My Moms POA was immediate which needed no doctor competency letter. I set up the sale, and cleaned the house out. She new nothing about it. You have to tell yourself "I am now in charge" and do it. You are not obligated to tell Mom anything. She would not understand anyway.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I would see an elder law attorney. When you are talking buying/selling real estate you are in the "big time" of POA work, and it is something you cannot make a mistake about. You say "we are meantime funding care" and I hope you don't mean YOU, yourselves are doing that; that would be a great mistake. I hope that this is her finances you are managing for her care. If you mean YOU are funding things then you need to get to an attorney ASAP as that would be a grave mistake.

You POA allows you expert advice and you badly need it now.
Of course she cannot return to her house, and it is right that it be sold now for her care, but it can also be kept and maintained and she can be on Medicaid.
See an elder law attorney for options, and best of luck to you.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Sell the home and never mention it to her again. Or lie to her, tell her you are taking care of it until she is well enough to return. If you are her only relatives, how is she going to find out? Does she look at her bank accounts anymore? If not, explaining new money in her account should be no trouble. Or put it in a savings account (hers) that she does not look at. Keep it simple and she will never know and she’ll be cared for with her own assets.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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I'd be very careful with this, lest you find yourself mired in a legal mess. I was my mom's POA and had all the rights to conduct real estate transactions on her behalf. The POA was not springing, meaning her incompetence was not necessary for me act on her behalf. I never enforced it, although I probably should have. My mom ended up getting angry at me for something that never happened and she convinced a new attorney to write me out of her will and remove me as POA. My point here is 3 years ago I footed the attorney bill to update her will and POA (her request), and she was still able to recently fool a new attorney that she was competent. My attorney told me the legal bar is surprisingly low for what is considered competent.
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Reply to SRWCF1972
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Absolutely. Sell the home and stop paying for her care out of your own pockets.
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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Someone with severe dementia wouldn’t be able to memorize the year and who is president. I’m not sure what you mean by “passing” a dementia test. It’s not quite like that - for instance, the short tests for cognition that the doctor gives in his office assess cognitive ability by grading the subject’s answers on a scale that shows in what range their cognitive ability falls. They don’t pass or fail but the test does give an idea what sort of help they need.
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Reply to Fawnby
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SRWCF1972 Jul 16, 2025
I had been witnessing my mom's cognitive decline for 3 years when I sent Mom's doctor an 8 page letter detailing everything I had seen. I begged the doc to give her a cognitive test. He finally did and I was told she "passed with flying colors." That's the day I gave up and threw in the towel. Absolutely NO help from the professionals.
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This is what POA is for, she once trusted you for the job, and can no longer make sound decisions for herself. Just never speak of it to her and ask that no one else mentions the sale either
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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