Can I refuse to send my mom to the nursing home the hospital found placement for her?

My only comment is that some of people here on the forum think you can just send her to any of the NHs that you choose. It is a two way street. The NH has to be willing to accept the patient!

I believe hospitals contract with agencies and long term health care facilities. They want and like to make arrangements without asking the family or POA. While I do not know, hospitals may have $ contractual arrangements with facilities or simply (not so simple) have built relationships with facilities' personnel and know who to call, who they like). It may also depend on which facilities are available and money / insurance issues/concerns.

* If they make arrangements or tell you where your mom 'should go,' ask the social worker WHY THERE?

* Hospital personnel shouldn't have any legal right to make these determinations, without first consulting with family. It is my understanding that you (or certainly the POA) makes these decisions.

* Some social workers may be very helpful. They should discuss the options with you / the family to come to a mutual decision - or the decision the family wants. They provide input based on what they know being in the field.

* In addition to writing us asking, you need to consult with:

1. The social worker. S/he 'may' believe s/he is helping you or doing you a favor setting all this up. Regardless of what they believe, they should consult with you / family before making any arrangements. They SHOULD go over all the alternatives with you / the family. This is the respectful way to proceed and some/many hospital personnel do not do this from my experience.

2. Contact the County on Aging; or if necessary
3. Consult an attorney specializing in elder law.
4. Get your POA documentation in order asap.

Gena / Touch Matters

Theses responses are very helpful, but different from what I thought. When I worked in Utilization Management (probably called something else now) I heard from the social workers that if there was only one nursing home bed available anywhere & the patient was ready for discharge, they had to go to that bed or Medicare wouldn't pay. Once in that first facility however, then you could investigate & move to another place once a bed was available.

Nature, I’m not sure that most of the responses are so different from what you heard before. If the SW found the only bed available, then if OP turns it down, there is no NH admission and Medicare isn’t available full stop. Most SWs are better informed to find a place, and it’s really difficult for OP to do it at short notice. The Hospital couldn’t be forced to keep the bed occupied, just because the daughter is ‘picky’ - and there is probably no definition or limit to ‘picky’! But you are right, best to move on with a bit more time to go on waiting lists and check regularly for vacancies.