Can I refuse to send my mom to the nursing home the hospital found placement for her?

Tell the social worker to try harder. Give her the parameters you require.

I was discharged from hospital yesterday. My first two NH choices were not available. Got what the hospital found. It’s nice, although not quite as close.

Accept what has been found because it is so hard to find now. You can keep looking. The hospital needs to discharge her to open up beds for those that need hospital care.

No, you don't have to except it. You can say its too far away and the ratings are lousy.

Is it Rehab or Skilled nursing? I would wonder about Rehab being able to handle a collapsed lung and IVs. My daughter has worked both rehab and Skilled nursing as an intake nurse and sent patients back to the hospital because the person is not ready for Rehab.

You can call the places suggested and talk to the DON and ask her/him if they are capable of caring for your Mom. You are her advocate. Don't go with what discharge tells you, research.

First, hospitals are under great pressure to discharge patients who could be cared for in a nursing home.
Secondly, are there other options for nursing homes in your area? It is not acceptable to agree to a placement that you believe would not provide good care. It would appear that the hospital social worker is unwilling to do the needed research into options. Unfortunately it is up to you. Often hospital social workers are basically ordered to act quickly. The pandemic has left hospital bed use at a premium. You may be forced to accept a brief placement with which you disagree while you can research better options. Your county social service or the Internet should be able to steer you to options. Wishing you good luck. You are clearly wanting what’s best for your mom. I had to move my mom from an unacceptable nursing home to a great one.

Here is how you get her closer to you:
1 - Rehab unit must be able to take MRSA patient (not so easy to find) and be able to do IV medications (most can do this)
2 - Rehab unit must take your mom's insurance
3 - Rehab unit must have an opening now

If you can find a place that meets those criteria, then let the hospital know and they will send her there.

Since this is time sensitive, I doubt our responses will help. The bottom line is availability and suitability. Unfortunately, nursing/rehab facilities are understaffed. Unless, you can find another suitable placement, Mom will have to go there. Be her best advocate. Get to know the staff, meet with the nursing supervisor. Be visible and vocal .Visit as often as you can, especially at the beginning .
My Mom was over an hour away. I just had to push myself to go. There are 3 of us, so we took turns. Are you able to hire a "sitter " for Mom when you can't go?

I went through this weeks ago. The social worker sent me a list of all the nursing homes within a 10 to 20 mile radius of my location and said she would call me in two days. I said no I will call you at the end of the week because I’m going to tour all of my favorite pics. I’m not rushing this process I’m not sticking my mom in a hell hole. I toured five different places some had opening some did not long story short my top pic became available and we placed her in long-term care last week. We found out she is not a candidate for memory care and she is sadly a skilled nursing patient. We were really hoping for memory care. Some of the skilled nursing facilities were not locked down because she has advanced dementia and roams so they were off of my list. I think you can say no but you can’t keep her in the hospital for another month you need to be actively looking and sometimes you just have to pick your battles and try and select the best option. It suck’s all of it! I agree with fellow commenters wherever you end up you need to actively be showing up and asking questions because the care Will not be to your complete satisfaction wherever you go. You just have to learn what to accept and what to be an advocate for. It’s not going to be perfect because every place is understaffed and there’s too many sick patients who need to much attention. I don’t know how people can pay for long-term care and a sitter on top of it. The elderly healthcare system is just so poor it makes me so sad

No! You don’t have to go with the one the social worker found. Do your own research. If you haven’t done so already, look up nursing/rehab facilities on the Medicare website. Resident care is probably the most important criteria, so look for places that have a high overall rating as well as a high resident care rating. Find ones that interest you and ask the social worker to contact them. The first two my brother was in lived up to their one star ratings—we had no control over the placements. The one my brother is in now has a 4/5 overall rating and a 5/5 resident care rating. I had asked the hospice social worker to call my selections. If your mom is in Medicaid the number of beds available will be smaller and some places don’t take Medicaid people at all.

You may have to decide which is more important—the distance or the quality of care. I live 1500 miles away but my brother’s daughter lives a half hour away from the facility he’s in. A full time job and the distance have limited the number of times she visits him. There are facilities closer to her but they were poorly rated. She said she would much rather drive farther away knowing he’s in good hands. You have every right to find a place you’re more comfortable with.

It makes sense that a less attractive NH is more likely to have a bed free. Like the previous posters said, you may have to accept this as a temporary placement, while you do the leg work of checking others and getting your mother on waiting lists.

My MIL had a fantastic NH, the problem being that it was over 2 hours away, and a visit took most of a day. DH spent an hour a day on the phone talking to her, which was better for her than trying to move her.

One advantage of ‘temporary’ is that you won’t be trying to buck the system, and your failed appeal has probably taught you already how difficult that is. ‘Compromise’ happens more often than ‘perfect’. Good luck!