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My mom has dementia she's diabetic and she just had a stroke 2 weeks ago.


So to start at the beginning. I quit work to help my sister with our mom. My brother passed 4 years ago and his wife passed 5 yrs before him, leaving a 10 & 11 yr. old boy and girl in my mom's legal custody. My mom has dementia & she's also a diabetic and we just got her out of the hospital because she had a stroke. My sister who is near 60 has took them all into house hold. My sister's husband is older & legally blind as well. The kids are now 13 (boy) & 14 (girl) the 14 yr old is wearing a size 20, 22 in women's clothes and wears a sz 11 in shoe. The 13 yr old is roughly 250 lbs & wears size 10 1/2 in men shoes. At one point these kids were bullying. My mom could not handled them. She was in a bad living situation & my sister has took them all in. The kids have gotten in trouble at school and to make a long story short my sister & myself are taking them to counseling sessions. My mom has dementia and her memory is going she's questioned if I am my sister or vice versa and shes had a stroke 10 days ago.


I need the income and my sister needs help .


How would I go about checking into a family caregivers check?

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Regarding Medicaid, please note it varies from State to State. Some Medicaid programs pay family caregivers but will not pay spouses and legal guardians for caregiving.

Other States will pay family caregivers only if the caregiver does not live in the same house as the person they are caring.

Medicaid home care benefits also depend on the Medicaid program in which one is enrolled.

Also note, when States set up their annual State budgets, when it comes to budge cuts, it's usually education and Medicaid benefits :(
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Short Answer:

No. You cannot get paid by anyone other than your mother, and, even if you get certified as a CNA and sign on with an agency, then you may be a 1099 independent contractor have to deal with social security and medicare deductions, and federal income tax.

Please contact an elder care attorney and ask whether a Personal Services Contract is legal in your state and if it is right for your situation.
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worriedinCali Apr 2019
actually you are wrong. She CAN get paid by the state to care for her mother. And it doesn’t have to be through an agency. It doesn’t even sound like her mother can afford to pay her. There are many programs out there for people in the OPs situation. The answer isn’t always NO.
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There may be financial aid in your state, but I doubt seriously if it would be enough to support six people. Ask the kids’ counselor if they can help you apply for aid for them. If you don’t already get food stamps, apply for them. File for Medicaid for your mother and check out Medicaid facilities when she is accepted. She will be safe and cared for in a facility and you won’t have to worry about her.

If your county has a Human Resources Department call them and ask for help applying for aid.
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worriedinCali Apr 2019
Very true ahmi. Pay will be minimum wage if through Medicaid and that’s hardly enough to support one adult in this country!
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In the state of PA, there are homecare agencies that will train and hire you to care for a family member. Call ur office of aging and see if there is something like this in your state. Medicaid is a good idea. You may have to consider LTC for Mom. Medicaid can help here too.

Now for the kids. I know no one wants to do this, but the kids may be better in Foster care. Your sister is not going to be able to handle 3 teens and a disabled husband. Seems they were allowed to do and eat what they wanted. 60 year olds are not made to raise 3 children. One is enough and I only babysat.

If your sister plans on having these kids, she needs to go to court and petition for guardianship or custody. By doing this, she may be entitled to any SS the children should be getting for their support. She maybe able to get Medicaid healthcare for children. If no SS, the state may pay towards their care.
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It’s actually not true that there are very few resources to pay carevicers. Every state in the US has programs to assist the elderly and disabled who need caregiving. Most states have multiple programs. There are a lot of resources, most people are just unaware of them.

Your state has 4 programs through Medicaid. But you may not actually be able to be the paid caregiver. But if your mom is eligible for one of the programs, it would at least allow you to do back to work. If mom is eligible for the “personal choices” program, she can choose a caregiver who will be paid through a caregiving agency. So I would look in to that program first—just contact the Alabama department of Senior services.
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There are very few resources to pay caregivers. Check with your Area Agency on Aging. You should also check with Dept. of Human Services to see if there is any funding for the children.
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