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My 84 year old mother is one of the meanest Germans you'll ever encounter. She lives alone and does very well, she enjoys occasional visits from her kids, but shoos us out the door in no time. Almost a year ago she started acting weird and has been diagnosed with a brain tumor. She had surgery to release pressure on her brain and is now doing radiation. She has recovered, to about 99%. While she was loopy, my brother became her poa. Is it wrong of me to ask him for a record of where over $100,000 went while she was sick? Can a child become the poa of their parents and not tell their siblings? Also mom tells me my brother is getting everything, leaving two sibling out of the will. How can I see a copy of her will, she surely won't show it to me. Thank you.

It's possible your mom assigned your brother as PoA when she realized she had a profound medical issue. She has every right to choose who she wishes. She was not obligated to tell you at the time. The PoA is not obligated to "prove" anything to you or anyone else. But, if you think she is the victim of financial abuse, you may need to go through an attorney and will probably need to provide some sort of evidence. Regarding her will, who is the executor? No, she is not obligated to disclose anything about that either, nor the executor. You will find out when she passes and her estate goes to probate. At that point you can contest it. Please consider that the combination of your mom's radiation treatments plus her advanced age may mean she is not telling you accurate information, whether or not she was "mean" prior.
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Reply to Geaton777
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The power of attorney document comes along with a fiduciary responsibility to act in the best interests of the person who gave away that power. So I think it's certainly okay to investigate if the $100,000 was used in the best interests of your elderly mother.

It sort of sounds like your mom's inability to act for herself has resolved. A brain tumor doesn't necessarily mean she's incapable of making decisions. If she can still understand the legal issues and she tells you that your brother is her power of attorney and is getting all of her estate upon her death, then that's that.

I would call her lawyer if she has one and raise your questions with them. If your mom still has legal capacity, she can make decisions for herself- including this one.

I'm sorry. It sounds like a very painful situation.
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Reply to Marcia732
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worriedinCali Oct 18, 2020
Moms lawyer can’t discuss anything with the OP unless a)mom authorizes it and b)OP pays the lawyer for their time.
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You aren’t entitled to see the will until after your mother’s death. If your mother is still mentally competent then you can ask her whatever you want but she doesn’t have to tell you anything. When she chose a POA, it was her decision and she didn’t need your permission, she didn’t need to discuss it with you or anyone else. And if she’s still a competent, you won’t have much luck hiring an attorney in order to find out what her finances are. If you suspect abuse, you can report it to APS.
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Reply to worriedinCali
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Your comments describing your mother, and numerous question regarding her money, leads me to believe you are concerned that you won't get any from her. Perhaps she doesn't want to leave you any money.

If your mother made her decisions while mentally competent, her decisions are hers. She may have needed a health care POA and general durable POA when she was ill. Those documents are signed by several witnesses, not just the POA. The POAs become "activated" when certain conditions are met.

If you are concerned where HER money went, ask the brother who presumably has the general durable POA (that's for finances and legal decisions.) If , after checking with the POA, you think there is financial misappropriation, you should contact an attorney or adult protective services for advice on how to investigate that as a case of potential elder abuse.

Yes, a child can become health care POA or general durable POA by designation from the parent, and the siblings don't need to be "told." They usually are, though, so everyone knows who is responsible for these roles. Those roles carry a lot of responsibility and often require a lot of time and work.

No, you cannot see a copy of her will without her permission. When she passes, the estate will be probated, and her will will dictate who receives anything left. She can leave her property to whomever she chooses, even to a charity. She has no obligation to leave anything to her children.
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Reply to BBS2019
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Ha, you made me laugh. I am a mean German, as well!
OK, to start with you don't become a POA when someone is loopy. You have to be competent to appoint someone POA. Are you certain he did not become temporary guardian or temporary conservator as the suggestion of someone in Social Services and with their help? That is to say, do you KNOW what he was appointed, and when?
You cannot ask for an accounting of anything. POA doesn't have to share any information with ANYONE. What they DO have to do is keep meticulous records in case the court investigates them. This is a Fiduciary Responsibility.
You cannot get a copy of the will, either. The executor, when you Mother dies, has a certain amount of time to let all beneficiaries know if they scheduled to inherit.
If your Mother has left you and another sibling out of her will , and has TOLD you, it seems to me that you know where you stand with her. She has in fact LET you know where you stand. So quite honestly there isn't any questions of anything. It seems as though your Mom has some reasons of her own for doing this. Why not ask her.
How do you know that money is missing. You seem to have no access to anything in order to know anything.
If you suspect that there is abuse of your Mom's money by her POA son, then you have a right to report this to APS which will investigate. I don't think that will make you any more POPULAR with these folks but it may ease your mind that no one is abusing your Mom's finances, which will likely be needed for her care.
Wishing you well.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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