You know what, Becky? That’s an awfully long time to be unhappy. I’m so sorry. I can’t speak for you. I don’t like to see anyone unhappy though in a bad relationship. Speak to an attorney. I don’t think you are interested in counseling at this point.
If a divorce will bring you peace of mind. I think you should consider it. I wish you all the peace and joy in the world.
Not a good marriage in the first place . Married 55 years now at 72 I want to live my life. He had his stroke in 2009.. yes I’m tired but always been there for him.
I can tell you this. A good friend of mine shocked us all after a very long marriage. Her kids were grown and out of the house. She kept telling her husband that she was leaving. He told her that she never would. She told him, “Watch me!” By God, she did it. None of us believed her because she had been married for so long with many ups and downs. She showed everyone! She never looked back. I completely support her. She’s happy and I am happy for her.
Why would you NOT be able to file for divorce if that's what you'd like to do? Go speak to a divorce attorney to see what he suggests about how to go about filing for divorce under the circumstances and how to split your marital assets, etc. You are certainly entitled to happiness and it's never too late to find it! I divorced my first husband after 22 years of marriage and never looked back or regretted my decision for 1 second.
Me too, he was a mean, narcissistic, mentally/physically and sexually abusive. I finally could get away after 21 years and i never looked back or had any regrets, ever. I may die tomorrow but i have outlived the three people who hadve hurt me the worst in my lifetime. Ex husband, his father and a sister in law..... go and learn to be happy again.
Seventy-two is plenty young to start over without the old grouch! I’m in a language study group with several older friends (ages 73 to 77) and they go to Europe all the time, hiking, taking cooking or language classes—the oldest just got back from an oil-painting workshop in Provence. One is a divorcee, two are widows, and they have the best times! Even the one who kind of misses her late husband says solo adventures are more fun (hub hated to travel). Go for it! Don’t look back!
I don’t see why legally you can’t divorce him. Are you sure this is what you want? Could you place him in a facility and let someone else handle the caregiving? You could go back to being his wife.
Just curious, how long have you been married and how long have you been caring for him? You sound worn out. I’m so sorry. Hugs!
go for a divorce. it's the only way for an attorney to attempt a fair separation. if you wait too long, one of you may become a community spouse and that's when no attorney, no one cares about history when attempting to get Medicare/Medicaid. getting the divorce before this happens gives you a fighting chance to be treated fairly when you're faced with health issues. financial resources will be respected for both of you in a divorce, not if one or both of you need dependent care. that's when attorneys and paid court appointed caregivers decide what is good for you. (very bad idea to think they will care about your happiness. they only legally need to hold up your physical needs) If you can afford it, divorce now!
I would talk to a lawyer. There are things you could lose in a divorce that you may not as a Community spouse.
Short version...as a Community Spouse your assets will be split. U will keep the house and a car. His split will need to be spent down and then Medicaid applied for. This all depends on what kind of assets u have. A lawyer versed in Medicaid can help u there.
If a divorce will bring you peace of mind. I think you should consider it. I wish you all the peace and joy in the world.
I can tell you this. A good friend of mine shocked us all after a very long marriage. Her kids were grown and out of the house. She kept telling her husband that she was leaving. He told her that she never would. She told him, “Watch me!” By God, she did it. None of us believed her because she had been married for so long with many ups and downs. She showed everyone! She never looked back. I completely support her. She’s happy and I am happy for her.
Best of luck!
go and learn to be happy again.
Just curious, how long have you been married and how long have you been caring for him? You sound worn out. I’m so sorry. Hugs!
Short version...as a Community Spouse your assets will be split. U will keep the house and a car. His split will need to be spent down and then Medicaid applied for. This all depends on what kind of assets u have. A lawyer versed in Medicaid can help u there.
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