Can I care for my father in a 55+ park?

Dad is too young for the community because he's riding on the tails of grandmother, who has a second under 55 living with her. Then you are really pushing the limits here. It's also a bad idea for you to care for him 24/7 and give up your life. You really cannot get a job overnight when you are working 16 hours with him. He needs his own subsidized housing and Medicaid carers.

Can your father check his blood glucose using a glucometer? How long has he been diabetic? I’m wondering why his BS went so high.
If he is newly diagnosed he could use education on diabetes.

At 50 he should be taking care of his own blood sugar. If he needs to do a finger stick 4x a day. Is he able to self admin his insulin? (ooops just read you live in CT).

There are new devices for brittle diabetics - Continuous Glucose Monitors, Insulin Pumps - available for those who must check BS several times a day.

But first get him to a nutritionist who specializes in Diabetes diet so he can learn to make the proper choices.

Your father is only 50, living in a 55+ residence?
How did he come to live in a senior park?

Are you sure you want to fight this? Do you have a legal leg to stand on?

I find your statement that your Dad is “too young” for a nursing home interesting. People often have the misconception that nursing homes are places that old people go to die. However, when my mother lived in one, there were more than a few people who were residents there. One man in particular was in his mid-forties. Younger people become residents of nursing homes because it’s medically necessary. They receive medical care from 3 shifts of trained caregivers 24/7. The staff knows what to look for and what to do if something concerning happens and because of this, a crisis can be averted.

Tothill brings up a very valid observation. Your father has a lot of serious medical issues, and while, to your credit, you did remain calm during this latest episode, with your father’s issues, I’m afraid these episodes may become more and more frequent. And, I’d be concerned about his care from his doctor. During this latest episode, it sounds like his doctor was clueless. If you are going to be your father’s sole caregiver, you need a medical support system you can count on.

Also, consider that you will be putting your life on hold for an unpredictable number of years to care for him. If you have no job skills now, it will be very difficult to obtain them if you are in your thirties or forties. In addition, if you don’t have any income for your caregiving years, you probably won’t be able to afford schooling to obtain a good paying job. You will have no health insurance and no retirement fund. You also will probably have no social life. These are all things to consider before you make the “Noble Promise” to care for your father.

You do need to talk to a lawyer. There maybe a law somewhere concerning 55 and up housing and having 24/7 care.

There is something called a Brittle diabetic. This means that the diabetes is very hard to control. Hopefully, you have talked about this "fluke" with Dads doctor.

Yes you can. Find a health care company that hires family. Take their Home Health Aid certification course (75 hours) then get paid to be his caregiver. They will rotate you though with 2 other aides. You may NOT be POA and Caregiver at same time.

Thank you for your response. I've talked with my dad. He does not want to move causing more stress in an already stressfull life living with his conditions.
My father is only 50 years old, and is too young for a nursing home.
I don't want some one else caring for my father and he would feel much more at ease with me living here.
As an update: a few days ago, my father didn't look to good and was slurring his words. I checked hid blood gluclose level and it was 470. I rechecked it, it was 465. I kept calm and called his PCP. His doctor told me to give him an extra 'large' insulin shot and see how it is in a half hour. When I hung up the phone, I looked at my father and he was slooped over, barely sitting on the couch. His eyes were shut. I shook him to wake him up and he was incoherant.
I called 911. Gave my father the insulin shot requested by his doctor. Tge paramedics checked his blood gluclose again and it was almost 500. He was taken to the hospital were he was still incoherant, he didn't know where he was or what was going on.
After another large insulin shot, IV fluids and 6 hours later my father was a little more coherant. The ER doctor said it was a "fluke" that this happened. He could not give any other reason.
I explained to my father what happened and he had no recollection of any thing that happened.
So, if I wasn't there, my father would most likely not be a live.
I don't know what to do.

Suggest you review your Dad's lease carefully. There should be some provisions for guests and others moving into the home. Since you will be living there in a caregiver role, I doubt the 55 age requirement can be applied. Make sure you have a caregiver contract that documents your "caregiver" status. Take the caregiver contract and lease contract with the doctor's letter to an attorney and ask his opinion. Local attorneys provide a couple of free clinics here monthly (one sponsored by the area counsel on aging).

If there are other under 55 living in the park currently, I would encourage you to document them. If it comes to it, you might be able to use selective enforcement as a defense against eviction.

Although your father does have the option of moving his home, this might be considered an undue burden since it would cost at least $20,000. You might consider getting an estimate to have if you ever need to defend yourself and your father from eviction.

There was a case here, not the same as yours but where a person was forced to sell a condo she inherited in a over 55 building. She wanted to live in it, but the strata council said no.

The land owner is not overriding the doctor. Your Dad has other options, he can sell move into an assisted living building, move in with you etc.

Also at 26 think long and hard and read various posts here on how challenging it is to care for someone 24/7.