Can a co-POA be forced to pay parent's balloon real estate tax payment from parent's trust?
I am a unpaid live in sole caretaker of bed ridden 89 year old bowel incontinent diabetic at her home. Its a old house in a valuable area. My husband has updated kitchen and bathroom, etc. We pay $600 monthly towards real estate taxes. So we are paying to live in the house as caretaker. House desperate for windows so utilities average $800 mthly and varies by season. Not free living. My sibling, from mom's acct, sends $500 mthly for her expenses diapers, insulin, meds, supplies, etc. Real estate tax balloon payment due Nov $4500. He is refusing to send from her trust acct. He chewed me out about the last balloon payment. I told him I did not set the taxes. He feels since I am in the home, I am responsible for all its expenses. My husband works OT & hard but with a daughter in school, etc we are doing our best. I think my name is on her account from where he sends her monthly $500. If it is, and he refuses to send balloon real estate taxes, will I get in trouble if I make the payment from her account for her home's taxes? BTW... he has been here twice in 2 and a half years.
Could it be the situation that your brother refuses to pay property costs cause he wants mom out & moved into a facility? And then he can finally sell the house. She has pretty significant health issues needing 24/7 oversight. If thats his plan then hes not going to do anything that helps you continue to live there. Moms very basic supplies cost he's covering with the $ 500 a mo sent. He's a MD, so he has a very clear idea of what moms costs of care will be. She has the assets to pay for care but I'd be he wants it provided in a private pay skilled nursing facility.
Could it be that for your brother letting it go to tax sale for a couple of years, then coming in & paying taxes before it can undergo a redemption / tax sale deed, may be worth all the drama, interest & fees just to get all of you (mom, you, hubs, your kids) finally moved out?
A few years back you wrote about moving mom from VA to TN, what happened with that plan?
There's a simple issue regarding the delinquent taxes: pay them or they'll accumulate, with penalty, and eventually the house would be sold for delinquent taxes.
This is a basic fiduciary obligation that your brother should recognize, and pay. No excuses for not paying. And in fact not maintaining your mother's assets is a breach of fiduciary obligation.
If you have the authority and actually are a signatory on your mother's account, pay the taxes.
I hope you're documenting your contact with your brother, including his recalcitrant attitude toward the taxes. You may eventually have to take legal action to remove him and block his authority.
As to pay, I would check with some local agencies to get local quotes, document the time you spend caregiving, and determine what outside help would cost.
There is a trade-off for caregiving responsibilities vs. imputed rent and utilities, etc. for living there. See how they balance out and whether one outweighs the other. That'll help put in perspective whether or not caregiving remuneration is appropriate.
Brother could view it that Kicks chose to move in & as so the property costs from that point on are all on her & her family to deal with. Kicks sort pf agreed to this. He's paying the absolute minimum costs for moms care at $ 500 a mo. Yeah he's manipulating but it's his way of trying to be able to get control. He views sissy as obstinate & unrealistic. He can likely out wait sissy. He can't face to face deal with sissy but can control $ and does. He's a real ahole. But mom made them co DPOA's & it could be she did it so they would have to deal with each other.
When it comes to historic district houses nothing is simple. No running down to Lowes for a new window. All exterior & foundation work has to be within code for district. Down to paint color approved & if not you have to repaint or fined. Going to Historic Districts Landmarks commission to get permit request approved (& usually first denied!) is a part of owning historic zone property. I could do a novella on corbels & slate. It's way more time involved & expensive than a traditional house. Often folks are blindsided by regulations and neighbors who will report on your doings to Permit & Code Enforcement.
Kicks, is there the $ to truly afford the house? Will moms income (her SS) cover the monthly costs on the home? From her $ alone, could she pay utilities, taxes, insurance, food, meds PLUS set aside 20% for repairs & maintenance? And pay for a 1 day or 2 days a week 8 hr caregiver to give you a break? If so, you need as CoDPOA to take bro to court to get $ flowing to pay moms expenses. But if not, you're just putting off the inevitable move out of the house unless you & hubs can afford all expenses. If mom were to move into a facility, would you be able to rent or buy a home or would you be homeless? I'm not " lunging" at you. But often on AC, caregivers leave thier jobs then move in to help for a bit and them find years have passed along with their $ and elders care is way beyond what can be done by them anymore. & although they can qualify for Medicaid's caregivers exemption on the house, they can't afford it's upkeep. You need to do whatever to keep this from happening.
Why are you paying utilities?
You are co-poa? How is your POA worded? Does it allow you to make financial transactions on the grantor's behalf?
Or are the taxes paid as lump sum to the mortgagee, which pays the taxes? Even still that's a lot of taxes unless the house is a mansion.
An average of $800 monthly for utilities would be $9600. This house must be massive!
It would help to understand who's proxy under the POA. The post title suggests you are co-proxies, presumably with equal authority? Or is he primary and you're successive? Was there any agreement on who would handle which types of authority and obligation?
What's your mother's position on the tax issue, or would it be inappropriate and too delicate a subject to broach with her?
Taxes need to be paid or they'll go info default, so someone has to pay them, whether it's you or him, and from your mother's funds. I'm not really understanding why it's an issue with your brother. Was there any kind of agreement created when you moved in? Sounds like there needs to be before the taxes become delinquent.
But given the expenses for this apparent mansion, have you considered downsizing to something more affordable?
All of the troubles and expenses make me think that this is a perfect time to downsize. I agree with Igloo.
Sometimes as the adult children we feel that we owe our parents to take care of them. I don't know where that feeling comes from. I stay with my mother and she pays all of the house bills here. I take care of my own utilities, the car, and my food. If I were to pay for her, then it would come out of my retirement savings, while her estate would be split four ways among me and three people who don't help at all. That wouldn't make any sense. I would just end up in poverty in the end, since I don't get paid for caregiving.
Are there back taxes and penalties because your brother wasn't paying the property taxes from your mom's account and didn't tell you that? Or you two were in dispute over how/who was going to pay them?
Look, this is serious dereliction of duty on the part of the POAs if monies owed are not being paid.
It really behooves you to get the lawyer who prepared the joint POA (never, ever a good idea) involved and habe a sit down with your brother and hash this out.
I think you are in an untenable position on so many levels and really OUGHT to be quite angry at the fact that you are being used/abused this way.
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