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I am a caretaker for an elderly family member (mother) plus I am juggling a relationship in which my partner feels slighted and resentful that we aren’t able to spend much time together due to me taking care of my family member 24/7, and also due to Covid. My partner doesn’t understand or cares not to try. Well, they say that they understand that my family member comes and the pandemic has limited interactions but they often express their unhappiness with the situation. Should I break up with them because I believe that an achievable successful, prosperous relationship can happen still in the dynamic, and they’re unsure of it? I give up my moments of solitude and free time which may vary from half an hour to 2 hours each day to see them, but they feel it isn’t enough and is feeling unwanted and unsettled. Should I just not date anyone due to my situation, until it improves? Everyone that I’ve ever dated has had a problem with it. Maybe they just weren’t right for me? Can a successful relationship be achieved while being a caregiver?

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If you want to focus on mom's care, maybe put off other relationships for now. It's very difficult to give each one the attention they both need.

If you want to go forward with a relationship, mom would need a professional caregiver to help her
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No, you can't have a relationship caring for someone 24/7. Its hard on marriages and existing relationships let alone trying to have one when you are already caring for someone. And your downtime should be for you to unwind not worry about keeping another person happy.

So, if you feel you need a life separate from caregiving, maybe its time to place LO in an Assisted Living, if they can afford it, or LTC with Medicaid footing the bill.
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Sometimes you love someone but still have to leave, or let them go free.

Sometimes the relationship is just not compatible with other life factors: new interstate job, family commitments, cultural differences, wanting or not wanting a baby.
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"Should I just not date anyone due to my situation, until it improves?" No, you should make your life a priority and find someback-up to take up the slack for helping your mom. You need balance.

"Everyone that I’ve ever dated has had a problem with it." Take that hint.

"Maybe they just weren’t right for me?" I'm going to guess that no one (even in a casual relationship) wants to be 2nd fiddle.

"Can a successful relationship be achieved while being a caregiver?" Maybe, if you aren't completely absorbed by it as your mom's care becomes increasingly more intense and demanding then only to be left a burnt-out shell of a person when she passes. Then it will be too late.
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You basically have to give up on relationships entirely until your Mom dies, or put her in a home. I don't see much middle ground tbh. Caregiving breaks up decades old marriages frequently; much less a boy/girlfriend.
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Put the shoe on the other foot for a moment. Caregiving often breaks up marriages. Your relationships should come first if you want any to work. Would you like to be the one wanting companionship but your needs discounted because of caregiving to a parent? Would your parent want you to sacrifice your own happiness and relationships?
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Hi! If you could complete your profile, it would help to get better suggestions. Ages, other family members etc do make a difference.

You have put your mother first in your life, with your relationship being almost a hobby on the side. Even your sacrifice of your very limited free time is quite a struggle. This would be a good fit for some partners (someone who wants not much more than a friendly occasional sexual relationship comes to mind). It would not be a good fit for people who want more out of a partnership. Perhaps that wasn’t clear at the beginning, and after 6 months it is upsetting for both of you to find out.

I’m sorry to say that my guess is that this is not a workable relationship, because you each want different things. I once in the past thought that I wanted a relationship like this, and I rapidly came to the conclusion that I was quite wrong. Neither of you are to blame for changing your minds. Yes, it may be very difficult to ‘date’ in these circumstances.

However this may also be a time to reflect on what you want out of the rest of life. Covid may resolve, but 24/7 caregiving will only get more difficult. If you want a partnership (or even just a workable sexual relationship), you and your mother may need to re-think how to live your lives. I hope that you can find happiness, however you do it.
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