While she currently lives at home, due to declining health and circumstances, my mother may soon end up under Virginia State Guardianship in Medicaid funded nursing home care. My sibling lives in another state and is getting married late in the year. I would like to be able to take my mother to the wedding. I currently have POA but I am not in a position to be her guardian, does anyone know if it's possible for me to be granted permission to take her across state lines overnight to attend the wedding once she is in state care?
Thanks in advance.
Even if she were under the guardianship of the state, you can ask permission to take her and they may grant it. When my stepFIL became a ward they first moved him to a NH over 1.5 hrs away. We appealed to the guardian that we had to drive his wife there and it was too far -- she had chronic back pain and couldn't handle a ride of that length. They moved him much closer (it wasn't as nice of a place but was within 10 minutes of us).
Ideally, I would love to be able to take her on trips with my family when we visit, and if the only requirement is developing a plan to address the risk to appease the state guardian then I'm more than happy to do that!
Just taking examples at random, ooh I don't know... might there be any question of your not bringing her back again, or not being able to persuade her to come back?
But generally, in principle, there is no reason why a lady in your mother's position should not attend a wedding (although there might be if travel restrictions and quarantining still apply by then). The guardian would want to be satisfied that:
your mother is fit for the journey and for the event, i.e. it would not overtax or distress her
that the trip has been properly risk-assessed
that she will be continuously in the care of an appropriate person
Your mother is not a prisoner. Decisions must be made for her in her best interests. But you'll need to have patience, because court appointed professionals are bound to err on the safe side; and, besides, you may yourself feel by then that perhaps the trip isn't the right idea for her - don't back yourself into a corner over this.
There has been a history of mental health issues leading to failure to thrive, but since I gained DPOA and got her into a program, she is currently on mood stabiliser meds. She has COPD, and dementia but does not require a daily nurse. She's kind of coasting through life on the couch, which is sad but honestly much better than the abusive and unstable hoarder she was.
The move to care will mainly be because she is approaching that line of not being able to live in her own home without ongoing care and those bills are quickly outstripping her ability to pay her medical needs, which may trigger a new medical assessment and very likely they will deem her not fit to live at home. In which case she will go to a medicaid funded place, which I've come to terms with as I live 16 time zones away, making the last few years a logistical nightmare, what with my own working hours, study, and taking care of my own two (under 10).
One thing that you want to be sure of is that you are not endangering her bed at the facility by having her gone to long. Because there are rules about needing skilled care and being able to not be under care for a certain amount of time, especially if she is on Medicaid.
With my Mom she was only good for an hour away from my house. Those suffering from Dementia do better in familiar surroundings. A long driving trip could be very confusing. A plane, I personally would not put her through the security and needing to wear a mask. I have seen videos where a child refused to wear a mask (2 yrs old) and the family was kicked off the plane even though they argued that they called in advance and were let thru security. Getting her to the toilet. Lucky if one person fits in there let alone two. We did have a member who did take her LO to an out of state wedding who ended up having a great time. Another hired an aide so she could enjoy the wedding. It really depends on the LO and the patience of the Caregiver. Me, I lack the patience. My Mom was pretty much into her Dementia when my niece got married. The Venue was 8 hrs away. I chose not to take her.
Most do not have guardians.
You do realize that having Medicaid pay for Moms care does not make her a Ward of the State. The last thing the State wants to be is a guardian if there is a family member to oversee Moms care. You can remain POA. Only time the State becomes guardian is when no family will or can't step up to the plate. There no longer is a POA when there's a guardian.