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I was told last night that my mother will not be with us much longer and this was confirmed by more than one staff person at the care center that my mom has been in for some time. The staff told me that I would be able to see her and that they would accommodate me visiting her in her room bc her situation was so dire and that she doesn't have long to live. They were unable to answer all of my questions (tho they did give me quite a bit of info) and said I needed to talk to a specific staff member which I had talked to several times in the past. She certainly seems to have more authority to provide info and has done so in the past. When I finally spoke to her, she said that she cannot give me any info, she can only provide that to the POA (I was unaware that there was now a POA). The POA is her husband and he is very likely incapacitated as well based on conversations I have had with the staff in the past. They have been very worried about him for months and wanted him to admit himself to the facility as well. According to the staff he hasn't been to the facility for a long time and they are worried. I have reached out to him and his daughter for permission to visit before she passes and I have not heard back. I don't know what to do. OR if there is anything I can do but I need to see her.

Call the Ombudsman for the facility and explain that you have been told your mother dying by staff.

You might also contact your local elected representatives.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Jada824 Jul 23, 2020
Local elected representatives cannot help in this situation. I’ve been trying to see my mom for 2 years now and am being blocked by brother with POA.
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They are refusing to let me see her because of Corona Virus. However the staff that I talked to initially said that they were allowing visits from family outside of the window of resident's rooms, which is something they had mentioned to me before. I was fine with that! However, they said that bc she is not expected to live much longer, I would be allowed to visit in her room. That sounded great! They weren't able to answer specifics of her current health issues and transferred me to a staff member who could provide that info - who I have talked to many times for updates. However, when I finally got a call back from her, she said I could not visit in any capacity and cannot have info about her prognosis bc only the POA can obtain that info. First I heard about the POA. She wouldnt reveal who the POA is. My guess is the POA is her husband's daughter. The staff at the center has been trying to encourage her husband to husband to stay there with her bc they believe he is having cognitive issues also, and is likely incapacitated as well. They haven't seen him for a long time. :'(

The daughter has not been helpful. This was revealed years ago when my mom was left at their home alone when he had to have surgery at the hospital. She was found walking around the neighborhood in her pajamas and thank goodness her amazing neighbors were there right away
to help her. They contacted me and they all took turns staying with her and settling her worries about why he left .
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Jada824 Jul 23, 2020
It sounds like it’s the daughter who is blocking you. If you want to know for sure who the POA is a lawyer can help you get a copy it.

This happened with me and the lawyer found out that my brother had a new DPOA drawn up and an amended trust and got me copies of both.
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I would go visit your mother asap. Staff confirmed it was ok. Please go see her. So sorry to hear about your mother. I will say a special prayer for your mom for a peaceful passing. May God give you peace and strength during this difficult time.
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Reply to earlybird
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Why do you need POA's permission to visit? The facility called you. Just go.

I'm sorry that your mother is in such dire straits.
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Are they refusing to let you see her or just not giving out medical info they're not allowed to?
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