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My mom is wheelchair bound, has virtual no use of her legs (can't stand) and even her arms are too weak to propel the chair even a little. At 5' tall she weighed 160 lbs. last time she was weighed, two weeks ago in a NH. She is now at home with fulltime CNA care and is gaining weight. She loves food & people are bringing her food she doesn't need to eat! We really need a dietician but there's not one in our area and it's so hard to take her out for long. She knows she'll end up back in the NH if she gets any heavier (one CNA can barely move her due to her weight) which she HATED, but she doesn't want to cut back & can't exercise. She's in denial with her health problems. I'm having trouble searching for caloric intake info. for an immobile elderly person. The Dr. just says "watch it". Can anyone give me some advice?
P.S.- She's telling me I don't care about her because I don't send my 18 yr. old, very strong son to pick her up when she ends up on the floor.

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Holy cow! You keep feeding her even though the doctor has stated to "watch it". Wheel bound people do not require very many calories. First, stop having people bring her food. Second, switch to some of the healthy choice microwave dinners to control the caloric intake. She could use some weights for her arms to strengthen them so she can push herself. If you do not get a handle on this weight gain, she will have more problems than you could deal with and I'm assuming you have reasons why she is at home with you. If you have a computer, go to doctoroz to get some meal tips. You need common sense, not a dietician. Vegetables, fruits and some fish and chicken are good meal choices. Limit sweets, and NO carbonated drinks. Remember if a CNA cannot lift her, someone else will come in and it will be a constant change of staff. Her health will suffer as well as her well-being. Good luck!
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caloriecount/tools/calories-goal

I had the same issue with my father a few years ago, only he needed to gain weight. He was dangerously thin. With the weight loss/gain calculator, I found out how many calories he needed to maintain his present weight at that time, and then added an extra 1,000 calories a day for a consistent two pound weight gain per week. One pound =3,500 calories, so if you shave off 500 calories a day from the amount of calories it takes in order for your mom to maintain her present weight, she should be able to lose 1lb per week. The link I attached should help you. If for some reason it doesn't work. Google weight loss calculator.
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I could not disagree more with the posts that say let her eat whatever she wants especially if siting the "quality of life" argument. I will use my father and mother as my example. Dad had CHF. In his last 18 months his breathing was very difficult due to fluid in the lungs. Dad was on a high dosage of lasix and supposedly a no salt diet. Yet daddy wanted to eat salty things - he could get my mom to take him out to McD's for French fries and she would cook sausages for him at home upon request. After each one of these little "quality of life treats" daddy would suffer for days, unable to breath. Often a trip to the dr or the ER would be necessary, then lung draining. Then more lasix added in - peeing all day and night as a result, which lead to no sleep, wet bedding and cloths which lead to more laundry to do - which wore mom out... on and on it went for days after a small order of French fries! They always regretted it and always did it again. Maybe it's just me - not my idea of a quality life - at least not over fries or a sausage.
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I think all of us can agree on one thing--it's really frustrating dealing with eating issues with a LO. I load the freezer with home-cooked meal portions (from Mom's own recipes), then come for a visit to find strange food that one of the CNAs brought in. Mom has been sick her stomach TWICE after eating an evening meal the CNA had prepared (too rich). Last two days, she woke up hungry, pushed her Life Alert button, and told the operator she was hungry and could someone bring her something to eat! It's funny now, but the 2nd time, the CNA was downstairs and had to run to the intercom to tell the operator she was OK.
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Move her to a nursing home. They all have dieticians and they know how to minimize fall risks by lowering the bed, putting a tray on the wheelchair and many other methods.
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Good question. To be honest, I am very surprised that we don't get this question more often. It seems like huge problem to me.

You will get good advice about nutrition here but you probably wont' want to hear what I am going to say, namely, you can't do what she is not willing to do. This all depends upon her willingness. If she is a foodie, then she will want the food. You cannot be the food police. It will wear you out very fast and you will receive no thanks for it.

Before you go too far, check our the web sites for Overeaters Anonymous (www.oa.org) and Al-Anon (www.Al-Anon.org). You will discover that there are many thousands out there living with addicts of all kinds who have learned to focus on themselves, fold their hands, and let it go.
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She has full-time CNA care and her food intake isn't being monitored? Let her have a taste of the food gifts, then instruct the CNA to freeze or hide the rest. Maintenance caloric intake for an inactive person is 10 calories per pound (1600 calories), so your Mom needs to have less than that in order to lose weight. Maybe the threat of a return to the NH will get her to cooperate. Nevertheless, it's her choice to overeat, and if food & friends gives her pleasure, you probably won't be able to change her, short of a heart attack or diabetes. The agency providing the CNAs should have made a care plan for your mother, including meals, meds, etc. My Mom has had CNAs for 2 1/2 years, from 9 am - 10 pm for the last nine months. In her case, it's getting her to eat enough to maintain her strength. I stock up on groceries on my visits and freeze cooked chicken, meatloaf, etc. in individual portions and instruct the CNAs what to give her for meals. She has her afternoon snacks (a few small cookies, yogurt & fruit,slice of quick bread, crackers & cheese, for example). She eats only a light breakfast and dinner with meat, veggies and dessert. At 5'0" she weighs about 100 lbs, but can get around with a walker. After two weeks at home, maybe the food gifts will taper off and you can get her to eat healthy meals.
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If you are the one getting her the french fries, imagine you are helping her to be more uncomfortable in her body. Imagine the trained people that have to come to help move her if there is an emergency. I can't believe someone suggested this was ok. i do understand the quality of life issues, but we aren't talking liquid diet or even abstinance. Just not eating more than say 1400 calories a day. If you are eating tv or prepared dinners, yes, you will feel starved. Those prepared foods are packed with calories, dense, unhealthy calories. If you can find the things she likes and have her guests bring her fruits and pretty salads instead of chocolates, she could eat a lot. If a heroin addict, would you want her to have the heroin, knowing it was killing her? Same thing.
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I am so glad to see this thread. I've been having trouble with my mother binge eating. If I address it, there is only anger. "I'm 89 years old! So what if I gain weight!"

The big so-what is that it isn't just about her. She wants to stay out of the NH, but she's getting to the point where she has trouble walking. Those extra pounds will make it so where she can't walk. But she won't want to go to the NH. She'll want me to bear the load of her binge eating by lifting and wheeling her around. I won't do that, so I try to curb her binge eating for her own good. I know the more she eats, the closer she is to losing her independence.

My mother had an eating disorder and was morbidly obese until her 50s, when she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I see what is going on now as just the same eating disorder. It would be irresponsible of me to not do what I can to curb it. If she is bored she can get up and do something. Eating is not the answer to boredom and will decrease the quality of life very quickly. Of course, with diabetes or a tendency toward morbid obesity or heart problems, it can create even more problems. It won't be just the person who is affected. The family and caregivers will be affected, too.
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Your mom is so young! Sorry that the both of you are having to deal with this BUT all that much more important that you don't hesitate to take right action now. The idea of limited calories will possibly help her lose weight but I'm not sure it will help her with her underlying desire to overeat. A couple of things to consider that I don't think have already been mentioned. Mom has to sign on to whatever you do. You don't want to be the food police if you can help it. I liked Salisbury's idea of OA and you might consider a psychologist to give you and her tools on how to deal with her condition in the years to come. I would find it very hard to believe that wheelchair based exercises wouldn't help her. I'd seek another opinion on that one. Consider finding a good plant based fiber. PGX is one. Have her drink this before every meal to help her with cravings and help stabilize her blood sugar.
Do the CNAs have bad habits? Do they bring unhealthy food with them to work? I know that might be hard to control BUT it could be very hard on your mom to watch them eat ( or smell the aroma of) foods that she craves but can't have. See if you have any control over that element of her care. Explain the requirements to each person you hire so going in they understand. Once your mom gets control of her emotional eating it won't bother her as much and she won't be as tempted by her friends unhealthy offerings. It really doesn't take that long to stop the cravings once the sugar is cut out and it will help her thinking clear up as well. Comfort eating is a huge problem in our country and a lot of good information is available. Food is a drug. Good luck to the both of you.
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