What is caloric intake for overweight, immobile mom?

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My mom is wheelchair bound, has virtual no use of her legs (can't stand) and even her arms are too weak to propel the chair even a little. At 5' tall she weighed 160 lbs. last time she was weighed, two weeks ago in a NH. She is now at home with fulltime CNA care and is gaining weight. She loves food & people are bringing her food she doesn't need to eat! We really need a dietician but there's not one in our area and it's so hard to take her out for long. She knows she'll end up back in the NH if she gets any heavier (one CNA can barely move her due to her weight) which she HATED, but she doesn't want to cut back & can't exercise. She's in denial with her health problems. I'm having trouble searching for caloric intake info. for an immobile elderly person. The Dr. just says "watch it". Can anyone give me some advice?
P.S.- She's telling me I don't care about her because I don't send my 18 yr. old, very strong son to pick her up when she ends up on the floor.

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Your mom is so young! Sorry that the both of you are having to deal with this BUT all that much more important that you don't hesitate to take right action now. The idea of limited calories will possibly help her lose weight but I'm not sure it will help her with her underlying desire to overeat. A couple of things to consider that I don't think have already been mentioned. Mom has to sign on to whatever you do. You don't want to be the food police if you can help it. I liked Salisbury's idea of OA and you might consider a psychologist to give you and her tools on how to deal with her condition in the years to come. I would find it very hard to believe that wheelchair based exercises wouldn't help her. I'd seek another opinion on that one. Consider finding a good plant based fiber. PGX is one. Have her drink this before every meal to help her with cravings and help stabilize her blood sugar.
Do the CNAs have bad habits? Do they bring unhealthy food with them to work? I know that might be hard to control BUT it could be very hard on your mom to watch them eat ( or smell the aroma of) foods that she craves but can't have. See if you have any control over that element of her care. Explain the requirements to each person you hire so going in they understand. Once your mom gets control of her emotional eating it won't bother her as much and she won't be as tempted by her friends unhealthy offerings. It really doesn't take that long to stop the cravings once the sugar is cut out and it will help her thinking clear up as well. Comfort eating is a huge problem in our country and a lot of good information is available. Food is a drug. Good luck to the both of you.
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You wrote:

If someone brings it to her she WILL eat it.

OK, as I have said before, recovery will all hinge upon her willingness. Get her to an OA meeting. Go with her. You will be surprised.
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Thank you for the responses! I'm having difficulty navigating this site. Is there a way to respond to questions individually?
Someone said to put Mom in the nursing home. I don't have POA nor am I her legal guardian so I don't have the power to do that. The nursing home would be MUCH cheaper than her being home, but home is where she wants to be.

To answer other questions: She is 74 and the physical therapist says that therapy (as in what a therapist could come in & do) will not help her and she is using small arm weights to help her arms.
For the sake of Mom being overweight, it's not her weight that I care about, but the fact that she will be completely bed ridden if she gets any heavier. She still wants to go out shopping, to church, etc. but doesn't seem to understand that she's eating the wrong things. If someone brings it to her she WILL eat it.

She can not walk after having back surgery on 8/26/2015. She was barely able to walk before then with disc trouble starting at L2 all the way down to S1. That was her 2nd back surgery, the 1st was 07/02/2014. She also has severe arthritis in her left arm and can't use it very well. Also, the Dr. said she has had a stroke but she doesn't believe him.
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if you google " how many calories a day do I need?" You'll find a site with questions about height, sex, age and activity level. I'd say about 1200 calories should be enough. I'm 5'3" , 57 years old and walk 2 miles a day I need 1400.
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I am so glad to see this thread. I've been having trouble with my mother binge eating. If I address it, there is only anger. "I'm 89 years old! So what if I gain weight!"

The big so-what is that it isn't just about her. She wants to stay out of the NH, but she's getting to the point where she has trouble walking. Those extra pounds will make it so where she can't walk. But she won't want to go to the NH. She'll want me to bear the load of her binge eating by lifting and wheeling her around. I won't do that, so I try to curb her binge eating for her own good. I know the more she eats, the closer she is to losing her independence.

My mother had an eating disorder and was morbidly obese until her 50s, when she was diagnosed with Type II diabetes. I see what is going on now as just the same eating disorder. It would be irresponsible of me to not do what I can to curb it. If she is bored she can get up and do something. Eating is not the answer to boredom and will decrease the quality of life very quickly. Of course, with diabetes or a tendency toward morbid obesity or heart problems, it can create even more problems. It won't be just the person who is affected. The family and caregivers will be affected, too.
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Hi Rackem, you are right! I may have not exprssed my concerns correctly. I want to point out that we need to keep in mind the feelings and needs of our caregivers, paid or not. It is not fair to encourage someone to be so large that it creates a big difficulty for the one who helps them get around. Stuff said in frustration can be misinterpreted. I think that when you say to yourself, let them eat what they want, there is a limit at which point you can't say that. Only by the time your realize it, it is too late, you can't lose that kind of weight. I think what I am saying here is exactly what needs to be said. Think about what the consequences of being huge are to the person too.
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I thought this site was for sharing experiences and offering heart felt advice in a civilized manner. No one here should be judging, keep it to yourself.
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Not directed at you mollymoose, you asked the right question. I am just shocked at ONE of the responses.
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If you are the one getting her the french fries, imagine you are helping her to be more uncomfortable in her body. Imagine the trained people that have to come to help move her if there is an emergency. I can't believe someone suggested this was ok. i do understand the quality of life issues, but we aren't talking liquid diet or even abstinance. Just not eating more than say 1400 calories a day. If you are eating tv or prepared dinners, yes, you will feel starved. Those prepared foods are packed with calories, dense, unhealthy calories. If you can find the things she likes and have her guests bring her fruits and pretty salads instead of chocolates, she could eat a lot. If a heroin addict, would you want her to have the heroin, knowing it was killing her? Same thing.
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I think all of us can agree on one thing--it's really frustrating dealing with eating issues with a LO. I load the freezer with home-cooked meal portions (from Mom's own recipes), then come for a visit to find strange food that one of the CNAs brought in. Mom has been sick her stomach TWICE after eating an evening meal the CNA had prepared (too rich). Last two days, she woke up hungry, pushed her Life Alert button, and told the operator she was hungry and could someone bring her something to eat! It's funny now, but the 2nd time, the CNA was downstairs and had to run to the intercom to tell the operator she was OK.
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