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My Mom, 81, has dementia (possibly LBD) and Psychosis of Parkinson's. She has typical Sundowning type behaviors but this is more severe. She often becomes frantic during dinner that she must leave immediately so as not to be late for something. She runs around and grabs her purse and perhaps some files and papers and firmly asserts that she's leaving. For much of her adult life she was running to evening meetings, classes, rehearsals, etc. I'm very open to any suggestions because it was real bad tonight. We got in the car and drove around for 40 minutes and I could sense her gradually getting calm. 3 nights ago she was similarly agitated so I had my out-of-state sister call her. They talked (Mom talked non-stop, sister listened) for an hour which was a wonderful break for me. I used to be able to say "Oh, that meeting is not tonight" but that's not working now. Grateful for any tips.

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Have you tried changing the time of dinner? And try putting your mom to work with dinner preparations. She can wash lettuce or stir a pot, set the table, pull apart bread and put it in a basket. Distract her in some way. Have tasks for her ready to go so you're not fumbling for something for her to do.

Is your mom on medication for this behavior? I would think that being frantic wouldn't feel so good to her, maybe her Dr. can prescribe an anti-anxiety medication.
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Offer a small (3 ounce) glass of wine with dinner and play soft calming music to distract her. After dinner have a movie ready, or do a "meeting" in the living room on a topic of her choice. Run a youtube video of that topic. Borrow a chalkboard on an easel and make it feel very official. Make sure she has her notebook and pen in hand. Ask a lot of questions, make her feel knowledgeable and in control.
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dmasty, my Dad also did that meeting thing when he was sundowning. I would get a call early evening where Dad said the meeting ran late, and he missed the bus to come back home, so he will stay at the hotel.

I think with my Dad, he would go to the main dining room for dinner. After eating he would go back to his room and doze off with the TV on.... thus wake up and in his mind he was back in the 1940's as that was when he use to take the bus to work. The hotel was his room at Memory Care.

Maybe get one of those pink "while you were out" notepads for telephone calls and write down "meeting was postponed until next Monday".... "meeting cancelled due to weather".... "meeting cancelled, power outage".

I was able to distract my Dad by changing the subject over to the weather, which was his hobby.
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I am choked up and have goosebumps because all these suggestions are so good. My kids have also suggested the meeting in the living room. Some nights she's expecting her 4-H group to come over for a class. Maybe she needs an evening outing? I was thinking going to the public library to check out a DVD or Lowe's to check out the plants.
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My husband's Sundowning is not quite that bad, but I will find him in the closet rearranging things or in the bathroom rearranging our little space. You don't go from an 1800 sq. ft. house to a 670 sq. ft. apt. without feeling a little confused and agitated. I am still trying to get used to things, but I will go in and tell him he has done a great job of organizing (which he was always good at), ask him to come see a program on, or tell him the dogs "need" him. He can spend hours just petting one of the dogs head. She loves that! So find out what works and do it. This symptom will resolve on its own once the destruction in the brain continues...Have patience and know we are all in this together!
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DMasty, I take care of my mother who just turned 92 along with 5 of my siblings. We have two outside caregivers also. She has taken Celexa 10 mg. in the morning for about a year. With that she would still have sundowning episodes getting worse lately. She would gather up her things saying she was going home ( she lives in her own home) etc. We tried trazadone at night at the dr's suggestion and didn't help. I spoke with the pharmacist and she suggested we double the Celexa to 20 mg. saying she has many seniors taking 20 mg. I took her off the trazadone and doubled the Celexa and she's calm and relaxed. IT's made a huge difference. I just wanted to add the 20 mg. of Celexa caused her to have diarrhea. And the pharmacist said it may or may not go away. I asked if I could give her 10mg in the am and 10mg in the pm and that did the trick. LIfe is peaceful thank you God!
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Medication helps a LOT with this problem in my mother who is 98 and has dementia. Some trial and error may be needed to get the right prescription and dosage. Blessings and good luck.
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Following other's insightful suggestions on meetings, can you arrange for a friend to visit on "meeting nights", and/or create your own meetings to decide on house plans - what to make for dinner for tomorrow night, what to do during the day?

If you can create a schedule of work at home, she and you can have meetings together. Perhaps she can even plan some meetings for the two of you.
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Perhaps you can ask what meeting or class she needs to get to. Then call your own phone, answer it, and tell her the class has been cancelled due to (weather, illness, etc.). A mix of all these suggestions should work.
My Dad, before he passed, would stand outside his facility in the pouring rain at 11:00 pm waiting for his daughter to come pick him up for church. A nurse told him she had called and his daughter was ill. The nurses then hid his shoes from him, and he spent the evenings hunting for them. But at lest he wasn't out in the pouring rain or walking down dark streets.
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You have some good solutions here. I think I would first discuss it with her doctor, as medication for anxiety can be quite helpful, based on my experience with my cousin who has dementia.

Also, if she starts to get up to get ready to rush to a meeting, what if you say that they called and cancelled the meeting that night and they will send out the new time and date the next day. She's not likely to remember if you do that each day.

If my cousin gets anxious, which is greatly reduced since she went on meds, but, I will say that I have made a phone call and everything is now fine. That works for her.
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