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My husband and I are alone (no family). It occurred to me the other day, if something happened to me, even if my husband were to have the presence of mind to call 911, he has the worst time with our address. We only have cell phones, and live in a pretty rural area, so I’m not sure the fire dept, police etc could locate us quickly. I’m afraid if I put out a sheet of paper in every room with our address, that will go unnoticed.


Any suggestions?

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My first thought is that if you were a life alert pendant, you might be able to press it if you need help, unless it is a catastrophic event. Finding a system that will work in your area with cell phones may be a challenge.
Is there a senior center or council on aging near you? or a county health department or senior resources on line? Or stop by the police/fire departments - any of these resources may know of a system that works, or have some other suggestions.
That rural beauty and privacy does become a bit more of a mixed blessing with age, I'm afraid.
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"That rural beauty and privacy does become a bit more of a mixed blessing with age, I'm afraid."
Truer words were never spoken, unfortunately.

I like the idea of an alert pendant (assuming it would work where you are located). I would definitely check in with your local response group (fire, police, EMT) and get their input for a solution. They don't want to be driving around looking for your house knowing that you are in a medical emergency situation either!
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Is your "nearest" neighbor someone you trust who you could ask to make a daily phone call or visit to you, like an informal wellness check? You'd be the first call, then if you didn't answer or respond, they'd call your husband next, and based on that result would come over (so you'd need to leave a key hidden outside) or just have them call 911. This is maybe until you find a home alert system, but in the instance that it doesn't work out...

I made this arrangement with my MIL's neighbor and showed gratitude by giving her gift cards to restaurants and stores. I also gave the neighbor a gc to their grocery store and Target so that if my MIL needed anything and the neighbor was going to the store for themselves, they could also pick up my MIL's needed items. It worked well.
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The fall pendants are GREAT when you remember to WEAR THEM.

Both my mom and my MIL have them and wear them about 50% of the time. So, when they've both had falls--guess what? The pendant is in another room and they're lying on the floor.

You sound much more 'with it' if you're recognizing that you could fall or need help and being in a fairly secluded area would make it harder for help to come.

As gma aged into her 90's, we all took a 'day' to simply call her and touch base. Usually in the evening, b/c she'd be ready for bed and we'd call and check on her. Only if she did not respond did we 'worry'. This worked well for a long time, plus she had a phone call to look forward to each day. There were 7 of us willing to do this and I personally have some great memories of talking to her on the phone--sometimes for hours, if the kiddoes were all in bed and DH wasn't home.
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Tante1946 Feb 2022
That's what my grandmother did. Each night She'd call just before she went upstairs to bed. On that last night, she turned and her foot caught on the carpeting and down she went. It was just pure luck my parents were on their way to visit my father's sister, the woman my grandmother had just spoken to. They were able to rescue her because her light was still on and they could see her on the floor through the small window in the front door. My aunt would not have expected another call until the next morning when Grandmother woke up, and by then it would have been way too late. You're right about wearing the necklace or watch on the wrist. I even wear mine in bed, but then, I'm a quiet sleeper. Someone who tosses and turns could set it off.
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Call the local responding agency (like fire department) and phone company to see if your address would actually pop up if there is a 911 call from your home.
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Slartibartfast Feb 2022
Yes, this, and I was thinking if it's a small enough town maybe the first responders would take your names and address down along with the cell phone numbers. Then simple caller ID would give them everything they need to know.
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Is there a local senior center? The one in my town offers a daily call to seniors done by volunteers. It gives the senior a nice connection to the outside world and lets someone know to send a wellness check if there is no answer.
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In my County they have Emergency Management. I have my husband set up because he is extremely hard of hearing and even with a hearing aide, cannot hear or talk on the phone. (Please, don't say Captel. He will not use it because a 3rd party is involved)

Since you are so rural, I suggest having a landline installed. The basic cost would not be that much. You don't need all the bells and whistles. If you ever consider a life alert button, you need a landline, unless they have upgraded in the last 5 yrs.

I am with Midkid when it comes to people wearing the buttons. My Mom took hers off to shower. Really Mom, the one place you probably would fall. They are waterproof and are meant to be worn 24/7. The clasp will break if pulled on so no choking if worn to bed,
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GardenArtist Feb 2022
JoAnn, the preferred company of which I spoke in my post has upgraded, to the point that I can't get what I want w/o a smart phone and a specific app.  
I don't think that someone in an emergency situation should have to fuss with an app on a smart phone, but people seem to be enamoured of them.

Picking up a landline and pressing 911 is so much easier, and safer.
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1.     Following up on others' suggestions, I would get a life alert pendant, but shop around, contact local providers and ask specific questions.   When I called, including some of the companies advertising on tv and in AARP literature, I found that most of them wanted to send brochures.  I wanted information, not literature lauding their prowess.   They were eliminated.

The company I did select had for years provided home safety devices, alarms, etc. and was already set up to provide life alert services.   Dad's device alerted their HQ if he even leaned over.   Their response as prompt.   I was listed as first to be contacted if they couldn't reach Dad, then Fire Dept. and/or Police. 

They were so persistent that after one episode, they continued to call, even past midnight.  Apparently Dad's pendant alerted them after he bent over, while we were already at the hospital.  

I had no complaints, only complements.  

2.   Get an exterior locking device that contains a key and opens by numerical code.   If you have neighbors that you trust, even in a remote area, you could give them the numeric code.   I gave Dad's to the Fire and Police Departments.   It worked out well, b/c by the time I could get to his house, EMS had typically already prepared him and he was in the ambulance ready to go.  

But have the device installed by a carpenter or someone who knows how to attach something to exterior wood, to ensure that it can't be removed.   And the issue of removal is why we didn't select a device that slipped over a door knob.  I already had one, but tested it over a door knob, and know that had I persisted, I could have gotten it off.

3.   We also had sensor lights installed so that anyone walking close to the house would be illuminated.  That was just as much for the first responders as it was to highlight any critters that might get too close to the house.

4.    Another good idea is to create a list of both of your medical insurance policy numbers, emergency contacts (if any), health conditions, meds, surgeries, doctors and preferred hospitals.  

Some Police and Fire Departments in our area have preprinted lists; apparently some folks put them on the frig door so first responders know where to look.
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Tante1946 Feb 2022
The lock boxes that hold keys are attached with screws into a solid wooden site through holes accessed inside the box when the lock box door is off. That way, the screws are not visible to any outsider and the box cannot be removed without incredible force. Even then, the lock box is secure.

In my case, the garage has a keypad to open the garage door and the company that I chose for my life alert pendant has that code to give to the 911 providers should they be called. I have the life alert pendant that automatically goes off if I suddenly drop down for any reason. I have had some bad falls in my life; no broken bones yet, but I do worry about that. I live in a family home with my daughter and family, but I'm alone most of the day. I also have direct access to the back yard which can be reached by going through the gate and around to the back of the house. The pendant will work if I am away from home, but I must take the special electronic piece with me that can send or receive any emergency signal my pendant sets off. I do take that with me when I leave the house. I still drive myself, mostly in town at this time, but I feel safer knowing I can contact someone for help if needed. My cell phone isn't always in reach when I'm driving or out for a walk. The pendant sends out a GPS signal so the emergency workers can find me.

You might want to leave a key with a trustworthy neighbor, but don't count on them being around for emergencies. Just let them hold an extra key in case one is needed for non-life-threatening reasons.

My parents had the emergency pendants, but forgot to use them. When my father fell and lay on the floor for nearly 2 hours without help, my brother made signs with large lettering that said "PUSH THE BUTTON ON YOUR PENDANT" and put them all over the house, down near the floor, up near the ceiling, on the back of chairs, etc, but that was back in 2009/2010 when the pendant I now have wasn't available. That's another reason I wanted the pendant that automatically calls for help if it registers a sudden drop. You should wear it in the shower as well. They're waterproof.

Good luck. You'll feel better once this is set up.
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I can't remember the name of the system my Aunt uses, but if she falls and stays down the system will either call her land line or my Aunt can press the button on her necklace to call the system. Then on loud speaker (from wherever the landline is connected to their box) a live person calls to see what's going on. If they don't get a response (or depending on the response) they dispatch the EMTs to the home. It's worked successfully the several times they've needed it. I don't know about cost. I would not necessarily get a wearable button for your husband unless he'd keep it on all the time.
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Somewhere in the past week, I heard that the fall pendants/emergency alert systems were being upgraded. If you have an older unit, there is action needed to keep it working. Maybe AARP will have the information.

Agree, and in favor of a landline to call 911, because your address shows up.

I could have my dH draw a clock okay, but he cannot give his address correctly.
And he was never good at giving his age. He would never be calling 911, or for any help whatsoever.

Many years ago, when Search & Rescue was looking for Dh after not coming back after a bike ride into the forest, they asked us to alert any friends he might call (instead of 911). This worked, he did call a friend, who told us where he was, and he was found, brought back in a sheriff's car at midnight.

The Search & Rescue knew something we didn't, and that was the tendency of some to call a friend instead of 911.

Maybe instruct your dH to call a specific friend in emergency? Sounds like a long shot, huh.
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First, make sure location services are turned on for your cell phones. In my rural area, I called 911 once when a neighbor's leaf fire got out of control. I called from their driveway -- the call went to the 911 center in the next county and they told me right away the call would be redirected to the right 911, simply because my location services told them where I was. If I call from my house, it goes to my county's 911 center.

Second, consider investing in an Apple Watch (if you have iPhones) or the equivalent for Android if that's the kind of phone you use. We just got my husband an Apple Watch last week specifically for if he fell and no one is around to help him. The watch will detect the fall and call 911. Target and WalMart sell them and if your cell phone is always near you, the watch will use the data connection of your cell phone (bluetooth) rather than you having to purchase additional service for the watch. Or you can buy one through your cell phone provider and let the watch have its own additional line for a monthly charge. But it was a guy at my cell phone provider that whispered to me, "You don't need another line. Just go to Target and get a watch, use bluetooth."
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GardenArtist Feb 2022
You raised an interesting situation that can occur with use of a cell phone.   I arrived home once, saw that the back door was slightly open and suspected a break-in.  I wasn't going inside w/o police protection; who knows what might be lurking in the house?

So I called , but at time I don't remember if I dialed 911 or our local PD directly, using my cell phone.  I reached a PD probably 40-50 miles away.  Even after explaining the situation, the responder was reluctant to transfer the call.   Finally she agreed to contact the local PD.

I wouldn't use a cell phone again in that kind of emergency.   At least land lines have numbers that can indicate where a house is located.  And I also have tape on the back of the cell phone with the local PD number.
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Life Alert or similar device. Push button and help comes to you.
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You should seriously consider moving. When my dad got dementia, we worried constantly about what would happen if mom needed help. Most likely, he would have wandered outside--no matter the time or weather-- looking for help.
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Lots of good suggestions about personal alarms for you to consider. The main benefit of these over a landline is that the person who answers the call already has your address, your name, your basic health info (dementia) in their system to give to EMS and you mainly have to tell them why you called. My husband is hard to understand so if that happens they will send an ambulance. A 911 call on a landline may not need your address but they will have a lot of other questions someone needs to be able answer. They also have your emergency contact(s) and let them know the button has been pushed where the 911 service does not do that. An EMS worker told us that because we live near our county line a cell phone 911 call may be picked up by the wrong call center and have to be transferred back to our county. This may vary in other areas of the country or may have changed with updated systems but certainly a question to ask. To avoid my husband removing his alarm and since he always has someone with him, I keep the alarm on our kitchen counter and from time to time I ask him what he would do in an emergency and remind him where it is. As his cognition declines I will get one for both of us so I don’t have to count in him. A personal alarm is also good for paid caregivers as they don’t have to instantly remember our address and other info. I plan to get a number code lock for our door. The key lock is still there, but a coded lock gives others access.

I was able to help a neighbor in her emergency because of her coded lock but then I had to deal with calling 911 for her and I struggled with all the info to tell them. I have a coded lock for my garage door… but often the door to my kitchen is locked.
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I have my address listed on the door, on the back of my phone in a sticker form, and YES in every room of the house listed on the door. I have memory issues, paralyzed and I live alone. You bet I'm going to have the address every place I can locate it. The sticker on the back of phone is the most helpful
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In addition to the advice already given here, consider registering with the police/fire department that your home has a person living with dementia and is a wandering risk.

That way, they will have the information in case of emergency.
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It might be worth trying a Medical Alert system where you and he can wear a necklace with a button to push in case of emergency. They will have all of your information on hand (address, people to contact, etc.) and will send someone to help. Usually they ask you to set up a key vault outside the house so that they can enter. I've see ads on TV that some brands can also be used outside the house. With my parents, who lived in a very rural area, we gave the local police captain keys to my parents' house so that they could enter, if needed.
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Just so happens I saw a segment in the news about this app yesterday, if it may help ...
https://what3words.com
Every 3 metre square of the world has been given a unique combination of three words. Used for e-commerce and delivery, navigation, emergencies and more.
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Our local 911 has a registry you can join with specifics about family, conditions, etc. i would call the police and ask if there is one for your area.
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Donttestme: Invest in a Life Alert system, whereby you are monitored via a handset and wear a pendant and bracelet that can be pushed for a medical emergency. You are then connected to EMS.
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Just read this: How much does a Life Alert necklace cost?
You'll pay $49.95 a month for the base unit and a pendant, with a one-time activation fee of $95. Adding on one additional device—either the help button or the GPS unit—raises the price to $69.90 per month, with an activation fee of $198. I think it keeps YOU in control of your own life.
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A couple of people have brought up valid concerns over dialing 911 from a cell phone. At our island cabin, which is in Canada, I often get notices about US Roaming. Many years ago when my then husband broke his leg on the beach, he called the house, so we could call 911 as he knew it was more likely than not, that his call would be picked up by Washington State 911 service.

Some of the newer alert systems use GPS and cell signals, but again for us that will not work for Dad as roaming often catches our phones.

It costs $30 per month for the land line and that gives us peace of mind.
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My dad was alone and we worried about him falling and not being able to reach a phone. It comes with a main base, a wrist and a necklace. There's is no charge for a service. If he needs help he just pushes the button on the bracelet and it calls the 1st number of 3 we have programed. Our 3rd number is 911. I highly recommend this system! Go to Amazon and enter Medical Alert Systems for Seniors. No Monthly Fee with Waterproof Help Buttons. Family Caregiver aid. Life Help Alarm System for Seniors Living independently. (1 Pendant 1 Wrist)
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