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Need to vent a bit, friends. I’ve been upset about this since Friday and it’s not going away. Where else to come but...here?


Husband has not been feeling well for two weeks. I brought a cold home from the daycare where I work and he got it. Because he is bed bound and immobile, he is still coughing and coughing. I obviously cannot get him to the doctor so I contacted my very unfavorite home visit physician agency. For some reason, they have put us onto a home healthcare agency. Their nurse has been out three times in a week. She is very outspoken about the way we live. She points out every lapse in housekeeping and does not approve of our animals. She says the presence of the animals could be contributing to my husband’s issues. She does it in a mildly threatening, derogatory way. The house IS messy. I KNOW this. But threats and insults won’t prompt me to organize it. I couldn’t imagine going into another woman’s home and doing what she has done to me. She doesn’t know our circumstances and doesn’t seem to want to know. She has told me I should quit my job so I will have more time to clean. She doesn’t have an idea of how the (little) money I make would be replaced. She doesn’t seem to understand that before I got this job, we couldn’t even afford a tube of toothpaste. The bank had preprinted overdraft notices for us. I suspect her next crusade against me will be my handling of the finances.


If she would, as the old Indian proverb says, “walk a mile in my moccasins”, I’d be more willing to listen to her. I know she most likely wants to help. She did mention that she’d been reported for her tactics previously. I can understand why. I feel like an absolute worthless fool when she’s here. My stress level skyrockets. She is also brutal and insulting to my husband. Last Friday, she as much as said she will report us if I don’t take steps to get the house organized. There are no bugs in our house; no mold and no rotting trash. Yes, it’s disorganized. But for six years, my life has been one trauma after another. It occurred to me this weekend that the worry over my husband has been constant for 16 years, since his stroke, a third of the time we have been married. This nurse doesn’t know and doesn’t seem to care about any of that.


I hesitate to call and ask for someone else. My husband needs care. So far, she really has done nothing for him. She said she would ask their patient coordinator for something for his cough but we are still waiting. Meanwhile, with his heart issues, I’m sitting here terrified.


Thanks for letting me vent. ❤️👍🏻

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I feel for you Ahmijoy. I hate how some people pre-judge and aren't afraid to show that they feel that they are better than you, I hope karma bites her in the a** one day.
I don't suppose it would help to complain and request someone else?
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Margaret and C, I just may because you know I don’t need any more stress in my life. What she says has validity. I agree with that. We moved from a large four-bedroom home into a double-wide and I wasn’t happy (and still am not) about the move. Add to that dealing with my mother and husband and well, I think I need to speak with my doctor about therapy and going back on antidepressants.

I’m not begging her for sympathy and I certainly am not asking this relative stranger to feel sorry for me. But, when all is said and done, hubby still has the cough and still has not received any treatment. She is due to come out Wednesday and if she starts another rant, I’ll stop her in her tracks and ask her what the plan is for MY HUSBAND and not the house. That is, after all, why she is there.

Thanks!
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I’m not sure why you ‘hesitate to call and ask for someone else’. It might be better to make it about the cough assistance that hasn’t turned up, rather than her personal behaviour. Personal comments just prompt personal comments in return, and you don’t want to get more criticisms. Say you feel terrified, that’s about you not her.

PS I hope that this was a question, not just a need to vent that shouldn't get annoying suggestions in return. You have every reason to vent, and you have my sympathy. Some people should never get that little bit of power that makes them feel able to boss other vulnerable people around.
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Who is important here, your husband, you or the FRIGGIN butt supposed nurse and her employer.

Tall your doctor about it, report the agency to the board.
1. Unless the conditions of your home are causing health issues and can be proved, non of her business
2. Report her to the agency
3. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ACCEPT THE AGENCY REFERRED TO YOU
4. What Medicare/Medicaid plan covers your husband
5. Is this a State agency? They're only there to take your money/property, trust me

TAKE CONTROL BEFORE THE STATE DOES
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
You’re right. Her abrasive manner makes me feel like a waste of air. As Sparkles said, I do the best I can. I am not a machine. I work 25 hours a week, care for hubby 24/7 (without any formal training on how) and also have that “fake but very real if you have it” disease, fibromyalgia. She blew into our house and proceeded to tell us everything we are doing wrong in a very demeaning way. I do believe she wants to help and wants the best for hubby. But, as I said, first things first. Let’s do what you’re here for, lady. Get him better, and if , like you said, you can’t diagnose him, send someone out who can.

As for the State coming out, I am not abusing or neglecting him. I can’t believe they’d come in because my house is disorganized. I am not a hoarder. There is no garbage rotting in my home. There are no cockroaches and only a very occasional mouse that wanders in from the field behind our house. Dirty sheets are washed every other day. Maybe not neatly folded, but they’re clean. She’d have no grounds. Windows with my dog’s nose art on them? Come on.

Just do something to find out what’s wrong with him! Please!
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Hang in there.
Isn't it a strange thing that she told you that she has been reported /in trouble before? Weird thing to be telling a patient and his caregiver. Kind of like the surgeon with the scalpel in his hand.... Saying.... Oh, by the way, I am being sued for malpractice because I killed someone..... Ready? Let's begin! Lol.
I would be tempted to put a large sign on my front door....
If you came to see me, come on in!
If you came to see my house, make an appointment!

I know you are doing the best you can. And that is the first thing I would tell her when she begins to harp on your house. And under my breath.... Geee! I wish you paid as much attention to your *patients* as you do the organization (or lack thereof) of my house!

Hope you giggled at least once.
Hugs.
Sparkles
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thank you so much, Sparkles! I did smile about that sign because it’s exactly what my mom used to say! For some reason, this woman thinks my house is toxic and it is far from. I do what I can and what I can afford to do. And you hit the nail on the head about paying attention to helping the patient. She’s said and done nothing about his cough and congestion. She says it’s not her job to “diagnose”. Well, hell, then whose job IS it? Hubby needs help and he’s not getting it. Getting him to feel better is my #1 goal right now; not the physical therapy or the social worker she insists on. She was angry because I cancelled a PT appointment, but hubs was sick. Who knows him better? Her or I?

We need to either get him better or decide whether he needs to go to the hospital before we worry about the dog/cat hair on the rug and the dishes in the sink. But I know if I say anything to her, she’ll have a snarky retort.

I’ll give it this week. He’s had a chest x-ray and blood tests and if she has followed up on those, we should have a plan by the time she comes out in Wednesday. If not and she continues to browbeat us, I’ll be making the call for another nurse.

Thank you again!
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I was a secretary for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. We had a Nurse that had been complained about by a few clients. This is what my Boss said. Our Nurses went in peoples homes. Its THEIR home. Your job is to see to the client not to tell them what they should be doing.

This Nurse is out of line. She is not APS or the Health Dept. Her job is to come in and care for your husband. Put in a complaint and request she not be sent back to ur home.
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I'm so sorry Ahmijoy~
We too,had some awful nurses through the 3 and a half years that Mother was on Hospice and it just made a hard time even harder.
I had one that fell asleep at our table when she was going over Mother's medicines and another one that said she hated our cats and the last one we ever had,Mother and I dreaded her every visit.She looked for & created problems instead of helping to fix them and tried to stir up trouble.Neither Mother or I deserved her treatment so there was no choice but to call and ask for a different nurse again.
It bothered me to call and ask for another nurse,but it was even worse dealing with the ones we had.
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As a nurse, my job is to care for my patient and not tell them how to take care of their own business. You can ask for an entire different agency and if his cough is no better On Monday I would get someone to see him then. Don't be bullied by this nurse.
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Brutal, yes, I agree.

She is intrusive, and has caused you a set back.

She has had too many chances, stand at the door, do not allow her to set foot in your home again.

Of course, you will call to make sure they send someone else.

May I ask, how it is you have allowed yourself to be intimidated by someone so blatantly wrong? This is so unlike you......from reading your posts all these years, you are a strong woman Ahmijoy.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thank you. I can only say that I was blindsided by her treatment. I had assumed she was here to asses my husband and devise a plan of treatment for him, but after 2 weeks, there has been no attempt at diagnoses or suggestions for any plan of action for him. I continue to worry about his CHF and the possibility of pneumonia. I am fairly positive she will insist that he go to an LTC facility. If we refuse, she will report us and he may become a ward of the State. This is worst case scenario.

Right now, I can only agree with what she says and show her I’m making an effort to take the best care of him possible which I am. We will just have to deal with whatever comes up next.
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I would be soooooo tempted to say, "since your visits as a nurse seem to be pointless, how about we see if you do dishes better than you nurse."

My mom's house is a true health hazard and I was not so politely informed that she can live any way she chooses, period. Was there any other concern?

I would contact her boss and find out what is happening with treatment for your husband. Being bed bound with a persistent cough is dangerous. Is she writing up that it is a dog hair reaction and not the truth?

If you wanted to be special sporty because she is being inappropriate again, you could have her come in the kitchen and grab a dirty cup out of the sink and turn to her and offer to fix her a cup of tea. I have a tough time letting anyone get in my face in my home about something that is not their business in the least. My snarky side shows it's face.

You do not have to accept her belittling behavior at all. She really needs to be reported that she is not being a resource for medical treatment for your husband, 1 day is to long to not address this lingering cough. You have the strength to get better care and treatment, it doesn't have to get ugly, you can very calmly thank her for her observation and ask what she is going to do to treat your husband.

(My mom is the 1st person to criticize someone else's housekeeping, this is a person that sprays fabreze on dog poop instead of picking it up. So, I always wonder if someone is critical of someone else's house. Hmmm, pig sty?)
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Have antibiotics been prescribed yet?

Nurses do not diagnose conditions. Only MD’s, CRNP’s & PA’s can do that. So if you want him diagnosed that nurse can’t do it.

I was a visiting nurse and have seen many a cluttered home but it isn’t (wasn’t)my place to criticize. I just worked around it. Some homes didn’t even have soap for me to wash my hands (we brought our own just in case).

Its her duty to report if he home is so cluttered it’s a safety hazard but dishes in the sink and dog & cat hair on carpets did not constitute a true safety hazard.

If you feel he is not improving, then call 911and send him to the ER. You are in a difficult spot here due to his bed bound status & you are the one in control of whether he gets diagnosed correctly. This nurse can’t do an X-ray, all she can do is draw labs, listen to his lungs but even she can’t write an order for antibiotics but if she submitted sputum and blood cultures (which I hope she did) they will call hubby’s PCP for an antibiotic prescription once or if something grows. In your husband’s case I would try an antibiotic, an inhaler, Mucinex (plain old Mucinex not the”D” if he’s on BP meds). Get him breathing deeply 10x per hour so he doesn’t develop pneumonia. For a temperature, Tylenol.

There were plenty of cases where a visiting nurse is ordered specifically to assess the patient in their home and perform a safety inspection.

I only reported one household to CPS when the home of this particular patient was absolutely overrun with roaches - and I mean everywhere. I wouldn’t even bring my VNA bag in and when I knew I was going there I made a baggie of supplies and took only what I needed for the visit.

I called CPS when I made a visit later in the day and saw a 8 y/o coming in from school to a roach infested home.
I had to call. A child can’t be safe in that environment.
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I’m a RN and I would get another nurse to come ,,call the agency and get rid of her ..tell them to send someone else ,,,she’s a mean sprinted person and you don’t need that bologna in your life now ,,I’d get rid of her so quick her head would spin ,,she sounds nasty ,,,keep us posted on how you and your husband is doing ,,and until she starts paying your bills she better keep her opinions to herself ,,,get rid of her
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Thank you, all, for your support and great advice. As a child care worker, I am a mandated reporter myself, so I know this nurse has an obligation to report unsafe conditions. Our home is not unsafe in the true sense of the word. Hubby is clean, his bedding is changed daily, he is fed healthy foods and he is alert and as content as he can be. Shane, I totally understand what you’re saying about the roaches. That is definitely not my house. I know there is room for improvement in my house and I have told her this. I’m not denying that. It’s more her approach than anything else. You don’t get people to do what you think needs to be done by browbeating them. And certainly not threatening them. From working with young children, I know that positive reinforcement works much better than speaking down to them in such a superior tone as she has to us.

As I said, bottom line is that nothing has been done for my husband. And, this was the #1 reason I asked for help. I understand that she can not diagnose or prescribe meds. But, this agency must be in touch with a medical professional who can.

I am waiting for her visit on Wednesday. His blood tests and x-rays should have been looked at by then and hopefully she will have contacted whomever she needs to and will have some recommendations beyond washing dishes and windows.
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worriedinCali Jun 2019
She may be a mandated report but she is not getting paid to judge and critize. If she was truly concerned, she should quietly report. If she felt the need to say something, she should have asked if you needed help and suggested agencies to contact. As a mandated reported, she is not required to lecture you and make you feel bad. She was out of line.
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Instead of quitting your job, perhaps spending less time online and more on cleaning up your place is something to consider. It's very easy to be here and an awful lot of time can go by with this activity. Help yourself first so you don't have to go online and defend your situation.
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Lymie61 Jun 2019
Are you trying to be helpful or make this poor woman feel worse? We all need support and if this is where she is finding that, good for her. A "clean" home is so subjective and while I agree she is spending too much time defending her situation I think she just doesn't need to "defend" anything especially caring for her DH needs over a messier house than usual. If you can't be kind and supportive, whatever your view, please just keep it to yourself.
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Ahmijoy, you don NOT need to keep defending and explaining yourself or the reasons for anything here, not to us and certainly not to her. I know very well how out of hand the house can get when there is a significant medical crisis or illness in the house, I imagine most of us can. "A good friend" of mine one I had more than supported through some terrible stuff, said she would come help when I was unable to get out of bed while they were trying to figure out what was wrong with me (I had been getting worse for a while, Lyme), I actually trusted and t=reached out to her for help not an easy thing for me but instead of coming over to pick up the house and maybe make dinner she called the police to do a courtesy check on me because the Christmas tree was still up in Feb. I wasn't able to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom without using the wall and she send's the police over. I had been a dispatcher at the police department and a member of the town ambulance squad so knew the officer well which made it more embarrassing to struggle to get to the door in my bathrobe and let them in the house (he was training a newer officer) but also better I guess since he was as apologetic as he could be and only stepped foot in the door to do what he had to "check on me" knowing that I was obviously very sick but "safe". The house was a wreck and I had 5th grader in the house but they don't care and have no business in what kind of housekeeper you are or how long it takes you to get the tree down, it takes a whole lot for officials to deem living conditions unsafe or unhealthy, remember if they do that they then need to rectify things, find a place for DH, you and the animals and that costs money not that this is the primary thing in their minds. Most visiting nurses are very accustomed to various homes in various states of array and work hard to put their clients at ease about the state of their homes because it's so very common in their line of work for homes to be less "kept" than they might normally be. The house should take a back seat to the patient and the caregiver and a good nurse wouldn't want you feeling guilty about it.

Now, I'll get off that high horse I'm just so frustrated by the way you are being treated. I would encourage you to call and demand a different nurse now, I understand and appreciate your instinct to give her a fair shake but you have and she has not done the same in return, she and her agency are paid buy your insurance therefore she works for you and you do not need to be paying someone who is accomplishing the opposite of helping you. If the agency isn't able or willing to accommodate you get another agency. Just because this is the one you were set up with by the doctors office doesn't mean you have to use them, the doctors office should have multiple agency's they "work with" and they should be made aware that there is a problem with this one so the next over taxed wife isn't put through the same thing.

A good nurse is irreplaceable, decent nurses are interchangeable and a nurse like this needs to be cut out of your life, no worries, no guilt. They work for you, you have been paying for insurance one way or the other for years to pay for this service. On top of that having this added tenseness and your discomfort in the house is not helping and might be hurting DH recovery. I urge you to call now and have someone else come out this week test results and all. It doesn't matter if this nurse is exactly right in fact her approach just doesn't work for you and that's ok, yours and your husbands comfort and trust are key here.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thanks, Lymie! It’s beyond me why this nurse has taken it upon herself to be Marie Kondo, Jr. (the super organizer lady). This is not why she’s here. After she leaves, I’m upset and depressed and then I think to myself, “Geeze! She didn’t do a thing for hubby! She preached and bullied and insulted, but he is still coughing and uncomfortable!” WTH! There are no answers about what’s wrong with him. She tells him to sit up as far as he can in bed. Well,thank you Captain Obvious!

I almost wish we could get him to the hospital to be seen by a cardiologist. I may seriously explore the option of having him use medical transport and make an appointment with a cardiologist. These home visits are fine if you don’t have a true medical concern. But if you do, I’m afraid they’re worthless.
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Really, I am sitting here looking at the dust I haven't got to. Think I may have a Summer cold and took Musinex DM. Nothing on the box says it makes you drowsie. Just looked it up and it does. Having a hard time keeping my eyes open. Waiting for it to get out of my system.

I know when I used to shower Mom, I was no good for a half hour. I can't imagine having to clean up a large man (u have said he is big, right.) and changing a bed everyday. I am 69 and find I do not have the energy level I had in my 30s. I worked, had a child and NH and a 4 level split. No kids, same old DH but lucky if I can get one room cleaned completely and go on to another.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thanks, JoAnn. I totally agree with what you’re saying. Deep down, I know my life would fall apart completely if she insisted he go to a facility. We tell other posters that Medicaid will not impoverish the Community Spouse, and they won’t. But, they would not leave me enough to stay in my house or keep my loved dog. She would be euthanized because she is antisocial. Most importantly, DH would not survive more than a year in a NH, if that long. It’s fear of that which keeps me going. I may not be perfect, but I do the best I can for him. Like you, I surely don’t have the get up and go I had in my thirties either. You are so right!
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Ahmijoy, how did it come up that she mentioned she's been reported before for getting in her clients' faces/up their noses?

I'm just wondering if maybe although she means to be helpful she comes across as a bully and is, in part of her mind, aware of this. Have you told her she really isn't helping? She's a nurse, she's not a lifestyle adviser, and although obviously you have to see your patient in context it certainly isn't for her to tell you whether you should go out to work. For heaven's sake.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
It was just something she casually mentioned on her first visit, probably as a way to excuse her browbeating my husband for not pitching in to do more of his own care. At that point, she really didn’t know what he is capable of. She just presumed that because she said something, it should immediately be done. Just like with the house. I thinkk she is the sort of person who demands everyone do exactly as she says. The threat of reporting us is probably just part of her arsenal to get us to say “how high?” when she tells us to jump.

When she comes out tomorrow, I do plan to make sure she knows that DH’s health is far more important to me than the dishes in the sink. The house is NOT making him sick and that statement she made is completely unreasonable.

I spoke with the Nurse Practitioner’s secretary yesterday and she was totally clueless about what is going on with my husband. She was simply reading off the NP’s notes. Couldn’t answer any of my questions. No decongestant prescribed until I asked. All she said was that he has an enlarged heart due to the CHF. No suggestion to see a cardiologist. I’m going to have to take things into my own hands and find medical transport to get him to a cardiologist. He will Abe to be stretchered out, but it’s skmethjng I have to do. These people are all worthless and this house thing with the Visiting.Nurse is just extraneous bull crap.
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I'm sure you'd love for your house to be magically cleaned while you are away...doesn't work that way, does it?

We raised our BIG family in a tiny house. I mean, we were on top of each all the time. It just never was a good time to upsize...but we did the best we could. Everyday my house was clean for about 30 minutes and then the kids came home....my MIL used to come visit and she'd perch on the edge of the sofa with this disgusted look on her face.

No matter how much or how hard I cleaned, 7 people living in a 1700 sf home--there simply is not room.

One day after all the kids were grown and gone..Dh got home from work before I did and commented to me over dinner that he had finally realized that *I* wasn't the problem--it was the simple fact we had too many people in too small a space. By no means am I a hoarder, but let things go for one day and it will look like we've been invaded by aliens. Dh is a messy creature, for sure. I am sick to death of cleaning. But it has to be done.

The only person who EVER gave me crap about not having an immaculate home was my MIL and I would just sit there and steam about it.

And my 'me' time is usually spent on this site or roaming the internet.

Sounds like you must get a different visiting nurse. ASAP. She's not helping dh at all!
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thanks, Midkid. I’ll bet there was a lot of love in your little house, wasn’t there? That’s what your kids remember, not the fact that you were obsessed and consumed by cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. I had an MIL and an SIL like that.

I am dreading this nurse’s visit tomorrow. I absolutely cannot wait until she stops coming. She has done nothing for DH. I had to call the physician’s service myself and ask for medication for his cough. She couldn’t even do that for him.

Thanks for sharing!
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Ok Ahmijoy, what happen with the Nurse.
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Update to Brutal Visiting Nurse vent of mine:

I took the advice of all of you who had my best interests at heart and called the Home Health Agency. I was very polite and respectful but told this nurse’s supervisor that we had to make a change and why. She was shocked when I shared with her that the nurse had told us she’d been reported previously for her attitude. There was no hesitation on her part to assign us another nurse. She apologized profusely.

I cant even adequately describe the relief I feel. I will, of course, continue cleaning the house. Grandsons are coming over tomorrow to help me shovel out the garage.

Thank you to everyone who posted support and advice. Once again, you’ve come through for me. Love y’all!
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Shell38314 Jun 2019
I am glad that things worked out for you and now hubby can get the treatment he needs.


Hugs!!
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Good news!

Great job standing up for you and hubby. He deserves to be treated when a med professional is called in without you being torn down.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thanks, Is. I’m very protective of him. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Her methods would not have produced many healthy results for him.
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So glad to hear this, Ahmijoy! Also, thank you for advising the agency and hopefully preventing "Nurse Ratched" from bullying other overworked spouses and family members just trying to take care of their loved ones as best they can. You did good!
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thanks! I could not in good conscience just let it go. If anyone ever needed an attitude adjustment, it was her. It wasn’t something I enjoyed doing, but in a way, she’s done it to herself. My husband had a much adored aide when he was in rehab. He still talks about her with great fondness. She was “an iron fist in a silk glove”. This one was just an iron fist.
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Hoping your hubs is doing better, now that you are relieved, and help is on the way?
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
He leaves this sort of thing up to me, mostly. He **said** he had no problem with her but the idea of him lying helpless in his bed while she browbeat him about everything made me furious. I have hope this second nurse will be better.
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Are they sending out a NP? Because really, an RN cannot order prescriptions. Wish I could have been a fly on that wall.

I wonder who else she harrassed and didn't report her. Always remember, they are coming into ur home.

When Mom had PT here they wanted to come at 8:30 am. Neither me or Mom were up that early. And I let her sleep. I told them that 10am would be better. I had to get her up, dressed and fed before they came. DH thought I should do it their way. Nope, my house. What is convenient for me.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Hi, JoAnn. The NP is part of the team. She and her assistant come out about every 3 months to check on hubby. She needs to be watched, too, because she once refilled a prescription of his at half-strength. This visiting nurse is part of a home health care Agency that contracts with the Visiting Physicians. Through them, we will get physical therapy and a social worker for my husband.

I think this is why the first Visiting Nurse bothered me so much. This IS my home and she presumed to enter it and did nothing but berate and browbeat us. What she had to say could have been said in a much kinder way. Hey, I watch the hoarding shows! My home looks nothing like those! You’re right. My house, my rules.
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Ok, good Ahmijoy, you can stop cleaning now. Everyone needs a break, now and then.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Ha! I Wish! Grandsons and I started on the garage yesterday and this morning, dog got a roll of toilet paper and tore it up. 😡. There’s just no rest for the wicked, I guess!
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Ask his primary physician for Hospice consult, or palliative care consult. And DO TELL THEM THAT THE NURSE IS NOT A GOOD FIT FOR YOUR FAMILY. Can you Please send someone else?

Do NOt Feel bad about asking for someone else. Yes, you may get someone who is less compassionate, but it may be worth a try to find a person who is willing to try to understand your circumstances.
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This has nothing to do about the nursing skills etc, but my friend's hubby had to go out of town to take care of his dad. While he was away, my friend realized the trash cans never got out. That was when she realized there is no such thing as a "Trash Fairy". Her trash magically disappeared on those magical days until her hubby was out of town :-)

Glad you spoke up and found a nurse to suit your family.
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If hubby can be in a wheel chair, you may be able to find a Yellow Taxi that is Wheel Chair accessible. Look up in your area. I have made contact with my driver years ago, and use him exclusively to transport my aunt. He is wonderful. His van is just big enough to fit us in it. He is punctual, personable, polite. Find a transport person who has all the qualities you need and want.
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Ahmijoy Jun 2019
Thank you. We have a county transport system that has handicap accessible vans. My biggest problem is with getting him into thenwheelchair and out the door. We have a “weird” vestibule that is at an angle and the door is too narrow. If we handle that, then I have to get him down the ramp which is too steep and makes me nervous. Then, his power chair slips on the ramp on the way up and I wind up having to physically push 300lb. hubby AND the 300lb. chair back up the ramp and maneuver through the door again. So, it’s a cluster from the get go. Wish we had the foresight to look for a handicap accessible home when we moved.
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