My brother lives near my 87 year old mother, who lives alone in her own home. I live 2 hours away, came home for Christmas, was shocked at the condition my mother and the house is in. My brother is POA, doesn't do anything more than talk, tells mom about "Obamacare and socialism". She needs help now. She will only tell me her problems, hides things from everyone else, cries to me on the phone that she is lonely and that I must come live there and take care of her. I am the only daughter, her mother did this to her.
When I try to work with my brother to get mom social services, he calls me a busybody, says over his dead body, and he won't return my phone calls.
My mother was sick for a week after Christmas, must have gotten the bronchitis I had when I went there, didn't call me until a week later, wouldn't call the doctor or anyone else. Blamed me for making her sick!
I am trying to get well enough to start an internship next week, finish school, and get a job. I am 55. My mother needs so many things that I can't provide (and I won't take abuse) but social services can.
The problem is that my brother is in the way, he could stop everything I try to do to help her because I need her consent to get her the services she needs, like LifeAlert. (She could not get out of the house or notify anyone if there was an emergency).
Also, his house is being foreclosed on, he is thinking of moving in with her, but he won't lift a finger to fix the hole in the foundation (bad for heating costs in PA in January), and she pays her own fuel oil bills.
I am scared of him (PTSD-VIETNAM), of her (I am in therapy for PTSD from child abuse and must keep some distance to stay balanced), naturally I am worried about her and want to help, but she's being abusive towards me, he will abuse me, he may try to sue me, who knows what else?
I know I could go to protective services, but I am afraid that everyone will blow up and cause me more stress, which my doctors will not allow...this family makes me mentally and physically sick. I NEED AN ADVOCATE, MODERATOR, A SANE NO NONSENSE PERSON TO PROTECT ME! And I don't have the money to pay an attorney. I am on disability, trying to finish school to finally get back to work, my student loan is $34,000, and my husband works long hours to take care of both of us and our house.
What are my legal rights? Is there any way I can get an advocate to help me be the adult or should I just ignore everyone? Would I be negligent then? Any suggestions are entirely welcome.
Thanks for hearing me out, gang.