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My Brother and his evil mean and vindictive wife took my mother from her home in Lake Wales, I have made numerous attempts to see her and am now only allowed to get phone calls and occasional photos of Her. Mom and I are and have been always very close as I am the eldest Son. She is close to my Brother but he has allowed his wife to take his testicles. My mother cant stand her and has said she does not trust her. Now she is being used as pawn and an ATM. They know I am on to what they have done. They have missed her appointments with her primary care Dr. and pretty certain she is off her medications as they are trying a "Natural Remedy" to probably save and extort more money from Her. My Dad told me just before he passed away he was concerned about loosing his insurance and suddenly being broke all the time. He said my Brother said there was fraud on the account and it caused the issue with overdrafts. They convinced my Dad who is (God Bless his Heart)gullible when it comes to my little brother were handling their bills since my dear Mom has Alzheimers and could not handle the bills any longer. Big mistake! these people are a train wreck when it comes to personal finances and caring for their own 5 kids at home. They caused my parents to loose their health insurance benefits due to non payment and have not made the mortage payment since before My Dad died. She was supposed to come stay with us during the Thanksgiving Holidays and was really looking forward to spending time with me and my family for a week. We have not has any time alone with her as they are always "on the go". Last week they said they are not brining Mom up but maybe this Christmas. Its been a year and I have not had more than 12 horus with my Mom since Dad died. They always manage to find and excuse to miss me or not tell me they are at her house which is only 45 min. from mine. They said she may call me tonight, which happens about half the time when they say it will. I am recording this call and asking my Mom if they moved because their phones ping to a different location for the past months and also if she still wants to come stay with me for thanks giving. If she says yes I will tell here that i will drive the 8 hours to the keys to get her. Anyone see a problem with this?? Yes, I do plan to call the sheriffs office when I get there to have a witness. HELP ME PLEASE! ANYONE. i JUST WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY MOM BEFORE SHE DIES!!!

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its a phone call try it you will be shock this is the route you pay a solicter to go down but you get your answer there and then they also tell you the next step to take and they go though the right channel to report whats going on
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I've been looking at al your comments. Many are interested because someone is perhaps in harm's way. We just don't know how much is true. Bobby... I expect him to be interested enough to check in, comment, or ask questions, in response to what others are saying.
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this is to all ring office public guardian 03004560300 and anyone who as alzhemiers go to there banks and inform them
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lifeexperiences: Confused because this may not be a true scenario?
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Call a government agency to stop abuse of the elderly. They can step in and stop it. Start talking to federal, state and local agencies. Do the best you can for her. Find her. May God bless your efforts to find, protect and have time on this earth to be with her o love her.
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HMMMM???? now im really confused! lol
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Jingle may be right. Some things may not be adding up....like a house with the mortgage unpaid? Hello???
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Billyj is correct. This is a legal matter. Do not tell anyone of you plans to see an attorney. Do exactly what he or she tells you.
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Methinks we may have a troll here. The question is four days old, there are many holes in it, AC has provided all kinds of advice, and he has not responded. Hmmm.
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Contact an attorney ASAP! Too many games being played here.
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Yes, and wirh 5 kids, don't you think they would be in school, so rhey can't be moving around That much! Something doesn't ring true in this story!
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...??? House plant ... are u reading what' others have written ... have u read the last few comments ... might I suggest you do.
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An unannounced visit to town and unannounced drive-by at different times of day/evening may shed some light. If they moved again, there will likely be no cars in the driveway - especially in the middle of the night. This seems a logical starting point. Of course other signs of life to consider - lights on/off, pets on premises, trash left behind etc. If they work they would leave/return at fairly regular times.
If Mom is failing as indicated, family control of various things may be of issue. Controlling the person and the money is easiest when done by one family member within some families. Other families handle it as a team. Sounds like no teamwork for this family. Her precise location and finances may become more than she can process. If the one brother has been dealing with this, Mom may not feel up to changing anything at this point.
So a decision needs to be made - do siblings need to intervene or do they let the brother/family pump it for all it's worth? If Mom is loosing money, but not her safety, the rest of the family may just have to let the chips fall where they may.

With Adult Protective as other approaches, all must use care. Several neighbors (including me) were interviewed a few years ago by the local AP because one neighbor's adult, estranged son reported his Dad for something. Father/son had not had a relationship for over 20 years when the son arrived to live with Dad. A swift decision/closure in case resulted. AP can't prosecute family if the diagnosis is bad blood and grudges among them. That becomes a civil affair.

The bank eventually solves a mortgage/foreclosure problem. No timeline was given as to how long this was going on. He also did not mention if his parents property is in a state that can do a quick foreclosure without going to court, or a state that does require a long court process. That can make a difference as to how long other family may live at that address.
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...Absolutely correct "inner-child ... so does this story not ring bells of the elder child now concerned that the "house may be a part of an estate and unless "he knows of the where about of said "mother that on her demise the estate transfer would be difficult. ... so indeed this "story is only a story at this point, but my guess if at all true, that there are ulterior motives underlying the urgency.
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Tired has raised a few holes in the story that didn't make sense to me too. "The mortgage hasn't been paid since dad died"? I would think she would have been evicted by now, or bank taken the house. "Mom only lives 45 min away"?....really, and you haven't sat out front and caught her home? Yes, why has so much time gone by, especially when you state you may drive 8 hrs to the Keys? Your brother lives 8 hrs and you live 45 min from her? I may be emotionally upset in my own family dysfunction, but I agree with Tired.
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....really? contact an attorney? Call 911? Contact elder abuse? based on what folks ... If you all wish to jump, then perhaps ask some tuff questions to get to some facts such as "if he lived 45 mins from her and she supposedly has Alzheimer's then why has he seen so little of her ... here's a good one "who has actually been caring for her ... I mean what's the big hurry? Why make a fuss now? Why not a year ago, why not two years ago? Or is it all about the holidays? (Don't think so) Or how bout a good one " who has power of attorney. (My guess is it's not him most likely because he hadn't invested in her care) ... I mean if you all wish to save him and jail the others he writes about (who may not even exist) perhaps you demand a few answers, before you fill in the blanks by yourselves.
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Contact an attorney ASAP!!!
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I suggest working, for starters, with the town's social worker. An Alzheimer's patient who was moved is definitely NOT a good scenario! Good grief!
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.... it is only responsible to not feed an emotional statement. Sites such as this can be used to fuel irrational or haphazard or spur -of -the- moment decisions /actions without first placing deep and careful thought into any situation. ...and at times humans have a tendency to want to "save and be herroric" before knowing actual, factual aspects of any situation they may "read.
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First of all a few things some have said, should be corrected ... First of all the comment made warning the poster of "Defamation Of Character"... Defamation only occurs when names are listed, so far the poster has offered no names. Second of all, the poster has offered much of his opinion rather than fact, so advice should be given accordingly. I would suggest ending the comments advising "call protective services, call the police, etc. Third; many are claiming elder financial abuse and advising poster to call authorities on such ... listen folks advising anyone to call authorities should only be done if said person is indeed in harms way, poster has not offered any of you factual evidence to support such hasty and possibly very detrimental outcomes. What is also quite odd about all comments suggesting elder financial abuse let me give you all a pondering thought ... what do you think any (if not all) privately or corporate owned facilities do to their residents when facilities charge anywhere from 4K to 8k per month housing & care fees. Think about that. To you poster; without anyone on this site knowing you or your family dynamic via factual evidence regarding your mother, it would be irresponsible to both seek assistance via a site and equally offer advice when the subject matter/s are as potentially serious as what you are stating. You have means within your own state/county to find the answers you need. I wish you well.
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If you suspect that your mother is in harms way and are concerned, you might want to tell your siblings that you will contact the authorities (police, etc) unless they allow you to see her. That should do it. If they are taking advantage of her and her money, which is against the law.....they might become more willing to let you see her and you can determine then the next steps.
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Two things: The stories you hear might be innocently made up by your mom. Also, there are conniving people who will take all the control they can get as if it's a war. Very unfair, but it happens all the time. They just don't THINK like good people think.
Do what you need to do to remedy this. Make sure you are doing the right thing.
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Either make them tell you where your mother is or you will get the law on them!
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In Illinois-------To report suspected abuse, exploitation or neglect of an older person, call the statewide, 24-hour Adult Protective Services Hotline: 1-866-800-1409, 1-888-206-1327 (TTY).
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Bobby, it's been 3 days since your originally posted your question. If you are on-line, please help us with more information by answering some of our questions.
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Duckie: I'm Canadian, but I would think every state has Adult Protective Services. I just did a quick search on Adult Protective Services Illinois and came up with several links.
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Some Alzheimer's care centers insist on the patient being admitted and completely separated from the family and friends. It is supposed to make the transition easier for them. I'm not so sure. Check with the Alzheimer's and memory care type homes and ask anyone in an administrative capacity who may be paying the bills.
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I would report elder abuse and ask for a welfare check. And call the police and list her as a missing person since you seriously cannot find her. Don't mention the brother or anyone, let the police find her.
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A family of 7 spending down her resources will make it more difficult to get Medicaid nursing home admission. If she is ever hospitalized, can the POA (if it's another sibling) notify adult protective at that point? In the meantime the POA and anyone else can place a call to adult protective services.
If she is ever hospitalized, the hospital has custody of your mom. Maybe you can get someone to take your complaint seriously, especially if several siblings complain.
If you are being notified that your mom missed her appointment, ask questions. When the doctor's office says they can't talk to you or other siblings (HIPPA firewall at work) politely end the call. Call Adult Protective and tell them she was not transported to her appointment for the second time. Unless asked, I wouldn't mention problems with brother beyond the fact that you're just so surprised to not hear from anyone. I wouldn't mention brother's family other than to say no one has checked in with you and the other siblings. I would say since the appointment wasn't cancelled, and Mom was a no-show that something may have gone horribly wrong. Other siblings should also call Adult Protective when these events occur.
Sibling who has POA can request a printout of Mom's prescriptions. It asked, say it's for claims issues or taxes - depending upon time of year. Printouts show what drugs have been purchased. If she has stopped, report that to the doctor and adult protective. If she later tries to get nursing home care, it will all come to the forefront.
I would also follow up my phone calls with notes listing time/date/reason for call. After several unsuccessful attempts, I would send a copy of the note to the doctor and tell him/her you have also called Adult Protective. I would keep the 7 out of the communications loop entirely and not mention family disputes until you really have the attention of Adult Protective. AP has to interview those whom they know have called about the situation. I would tell AP I would check on Mom except it's hard living 8 hours away. This may motivate AP to initiate a wellness check at last known address. If AP can't locate her, that's another red flag. You won't get anything accomplished with the 7, so you must work around this situation. Eventually you may see your mom by virtue of others finally having enough information from the rest of family to warrant an investigation.
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Sorry you are going through this. It seems this happens much too often. I know it may sound iffy to some people, but I personally knew a woman who went through the same with her father with Alzheimers. She was originally POA and when her mother was on her deathbed, the woman's sister got her to sign it over to her. She and her awful spouse took the father into their home and used every penny in his savings and retirement and lived on his pension. He was neglected and they even got him to sign a new beneficiary for his life insurance. My friend was not allowed to see him (she used to come to work and cry because she did not have the money to fight them legally) When he died, there was nothing left. The sister's husband died shortly thereafter and then she married her crooked lawyer! Sad story but true.
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