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My Brother and his evil mean and vindictive wife took my mother from her home in Lake Wales, I have made numerous attempts to see her and am now only allowed to get phone calls and occasional photos of Her. Mom and I are and have been always very close as I am the eldest Son. She is close to my Brother but he has allowed his wife to take his testicles. My mother cant stand her and has said she does not trust her. Now she is being used as pawn and an ATM. They know I am on to what they have done. They have missed her appointments with her primary care Dr. and pretty certain she is off her medications as they are trying a "Natural Remedy" to probably save and extort more money from Her. My Dad told me just before he passed away he was concerned about loosing his insurance and suddenly being broke all the time. He said my Brother said there was fraud on the account and it caused the issue with overdrafts. They convinced my Dad who is (God Bless his Heart)gullible when it comes to my little brother were handling their bills since my dear Mom has Alzheimers and could not handle the bills any longer. Big mistake! these people are a train wreck when it comes to personal finances and caring for their own 5 kids at home. They caused my parents to loose their health insurance benefits due to non payment and have not made the mortage payment since before My Dad died. She was supposed to come stay with us during the Thanksgiving Holidays and was really looking forward to spending time with me and my family for a week. We have not has any time alone with her as they are always "on the go". Last week they said they are not brining Mom up but maybe this Christmas. Its been a year and I have not had more than 12 horus with my Mom since Dad died. They always manage to find and excuse to miss me or not tell me they are at her house which is only 45 min. from mine. They said she may call me tonight, which happens about half the time when they say it will. I am recording this call and asking my Mom if they moved because their phones ping to a different location for the past months and also if she still wants to come stay with me for thanks giving. If she says yes I will tell here that i will drive the 8 hours to the keys to get her. Anyone see a problem with this?? Yes, I do plan to call the sheriffs office when I get there to have a witness. HELP ME PLEASE! ANYONE. i JUST WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY MOM BEFORE SHE DIES!!!

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OK, so she is now in a different state? If they are constantly on the move, I seriously doubt you will even find them. Who is the Executor of Dad's estate? Surely they know where she is. Who is mom's POA? That person should also know where she is. Sheriff cannot force them to admit you to their home.
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Bobby, I see from your profile that your Mom has Alzheimer's/Dementia. Since you don't know where she is, then you are unable to visit to see what is going on. Curious how do you know your Mom missed her doctor appointments and could be off her medicine? Is this what your Mom has been telling you via phone calls?

If yes, please note with dementia it is not unusual for a person to make up stories to get attention or to pit one grown child against another.

As for the rest of your post, way too complex for me to dive into.
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It does sound very complicated and troubling. Perhaps, a third party would be helpful in gathering information and sorting out what is going on. If your mother is truly missing, Adult Protective Services may be helpful.
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I understand the frustration of not seeing your mom and sibling rivalry is the worst especially when your mom is in the middle and reason for it. People think differently on how to handle a situation properly and want the control. Trying to help your mom naturally however is I believe a good thing. That and prayer to the Living God. He is the author and finisher of her faith and good to trust Him for the outcome of her life and this situation. I'm praying Jesus, our Prince of Peace, guard you and guide you in this matter. He can make all things turn out of good for those who love Him. I pray you see your mom soon and for a Happy Thanksgiving~
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I agree with those who ask "who has POA?" "Who is executor of the estate of your father?"
Looks like you will need to go in-person to your brothers to find out the status of your mom. You already know you'll have to be your own detective. Are you prepared to care for her? Prepared to place her (if you have your legal ducks in a row)? Sounds like she needs help but you will have to do more than wait by the phone. Hope she's okay; put a plan together.❤️
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I cannot understand why you have NOT called Adult Protective Services or the police to report this.
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I would either call APS, and tell them what you told us and ask what they suggest, or call the police and request a welfare check on your mom since they say they are at her house, give the police her address. Otherwise my last and most expensive suggestion would be to file a missing person report.
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These suggestions are fine but one rings out loud and clear are you able to take her with you and care for her?
Second and final be very careful about saying that they are not treating her right as you could be facing a defimation of character charge from them. Good luck because of ypur distance your in a difficult situation.
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The ONLY thing you can do is get an elder attorney and file for guardianship of your mother.The sooner the better.
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Does he really have in his heart to take care of his mother with Dementia or is this soul grapes. We are only hearing one side of the story.
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All your screaming efforts will go to waste since this is a sibling fight which law enforcement are reluctant to become involved with, in other words, it is a civil matter taken up in family court. My siblings put conditions on me visiting our mother until I took them to court and the judge sided with me, but because there were five of us, time had to be allotted for nursing home visits. As it turned out, they never visited, but kept me on a schedule. Mother died in 2002, and even though I was not POA, the nursing home called me first when she died. I then called the sister with the POA and told her to call the other sisters. Bobby, depending on the stage your mother is in, she may be unable to use the phone much less talk on it since dementia robs the person of language skills. Since this seems to be an ongoing battle with your brother, perhaps if you could remember the best times you had with your mother and know that wherever she is now they are still caring for her. Stopping medications with a person who has dementia is not all bad because the person has a terminal illness. The more angry you get, the more YOU will suffer. Sometimes it is better to let things work out the way they are going to, and you will have to accept them.
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Document the actual events as they have taken and as they take place in concern to your mom. If you can have dates and be very factual. Make a journal of these events. The money issue may be fiduciary elder abuse but unfortunately hard to prove unless the bank has copies of the checks signed by your brother or wife from your parent's account. Still many factors come to play. Another thing to do is if you do find out where she is and you are legitimately concerned for your mom, call that local sheriff or police dept to "check the well being". The best thing to do, however, is to kill them with kindness. They won't know what hit them. It will change their game 9 times out of 10.
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so sad, but please keep posting...would love to know what you were able to do for her! i feel so sorry for you mom.
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What States have this Adult Protective Care? I haven't heard of it in Illinois
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What States are you talking about Adult Protective Service? I'm in Illinois and never heard of it
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If you are really serious about this and are the person who is documented caregiver or are POA - hire a private investigator and find her. Then call APS. If what you are saying is true, you need a lawyer too.
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Sorry you are going through this. It seems this happens much too often. I know it may sound iffy to some people, but I personally knew a woman who went through the same with her father with Alzheimers. She was originally POA and when her mother was on her deathbed, the woman's sister got her to sign it over to her. She and her awful spouse took the father into their home and used every penny in his savings and retirement and lived on his pension. He was neglected and they even got him to sign a new beneficiary for his life insurance. My friend was not allowed to see him (she used to come to work and cry because she did not have the money to fight them legally) When he died, there was nothing left. The sister's husband died shortly thereafter and then she married her crooked lawyer! Sad story but true.
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A family of 7 spending down her resources will make it more difficult to get Medicaid nursing home admission. If she is ever hospitalized, can the POA (if it's another sibling) notify adult protective at that point? In the meantime the POA and anyone else can place a call to adult protective services.
If she is ever hospitalized, the hospital has custody of your mom. Maybe you can get someone to take your complaint seriously, especially if several siblings complain.
If you are being notified that your mom missed her appointment, ask questions. When the doctor's office says they can't talk to you or other siblings (HIPPA firewall at work) politely end the call. Call Adult Protective and tell them she was not transported to her appointment for the second time. Unless asked, I wouldn't mention problems with brother beyond the fact that you're just so surprised to not hear from anyone. I wouldn't mention brother's family other than to say no one has checked in with you and the other siblings. I would say since the appointment wasn't cancelled, and Mom was a no-show that something may have gone horribly wrong. Other siblings should also call Adult Protective when these events occur.
Sibling who has POA can request a printout of Mom's prescriptions. It asked, say it's for claims issues or taxes - depending upon time of year. Printouts show what drugs have been purchased. If she has stopped, report that to the doctor and adult protective. If she later tries to get nursing home care, it will all come to the forefront.
I would also follow up my phone calls with notes listing time/date/reason for call. After several unsuccessful attempts, I would send a copy of the note to the doctor and tell him/her you have also called Adult Protective. I would keep the 7 out of the communications loop entirely and not mention family disputes until you really have the attention of Adult Protective. AP has to interview those whom they know have called about the situation. I would tell AP I would check on Mom except it's hard living 8 hours away. This may motivate AP to initiate a wellness check at last known address. If AP can't locate her, that's another red flag. You won't get anything accomplished with the 7, so you must work around this situation. Eventually you may see your mom by virtue of others finally having enough information from the rest of family to warrant an investigation.
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I would report elder abuse and ask for a welfare check. And call the police and list her as a missing person since you seriously cannot find her. Don't mention the brother or anyone, let the police find her.
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Some Alzheimer's care centers insist on the patient being admitted and completely separated from the family and friends. It is supposed to make the transition easier for them. I'm not so sure. Check with the Alzheimer's and memory care type homes and ask anyone in an administrative capacity who may be paying the bills.
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Duckie: I'm Canadian, but I would think every state has Adult Protective Services. I just did a quick search on Adult Protective Services Illinois and came up with several links.
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Bobby, it's been 3 days since your originally posted your question. If you are on-line, please help us with more information by answering some of our questions.
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In Illinois-------To report suspected abuse, exploitation or neglect of an older person, call the statewide, 24-hour Adult Protective Services Hotline: 1-866-800-1409, 1-888-206-1327 (TTY).
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Either make them tell you where your mother is or you will get the law on them!
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Two things: The stories you hear might be innocently made up by your mom. Also, there are conniving people who will take all the control they can get as if it's a war. Very unfair, but it happens all the time. They just don't THINK like good people think.
Do what you need to do to remedy this. Make sure you are doing the right thing.
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If you suspect that your mother is in harms way and are concerned, you might want to tell your siblings that you will contact the authorities (police, etc) unless they allow you to see her. That should do it. If they are taking advantage of her and her money, which is against the law.....they might become more willing to let you see her and you can determine then the next steps.
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First of all a few things some have said, should be corrected ... First of all the comment made warning the poster of "Defamation Of Character"... Defamation only occurs when names are listed, so far the poster has offered no names. Second of all, the poster has offered much of his opinion rather than fact, so advice should be given accordingly. I would suggest ending the comments advising "call protective services, call the police, etc. Third; many are claiming elder financial abuse and advising poster to call authorities on such ... listen folks advising anyone to call authorities should only be done if said person is indeed in harms way, poster has not offered any of you factual evidence to support such hasty and possibly very detrimental outcomes. What is also quite odd about all comments suggesting elder financial abuse let me give you all a pondering thought ... what do you think any (if not all) privately or corporate owned facilities do to their residents when facilities charge anywhere from 4K to 8k per month housing & care fees. Think about that. To you poster; without anyone on this site knowing you or your family dynamic via factual evidence regarding your mother, it would be irresponsible to both seek assistance via a site and equally offer advice when the subject matter/s are as potentially serious as what you are stating. You have means within your own state/county to find the answers you need. I wish you well.
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.... it is only responsible to not feed an emotional statement. Sites such as this can be used to fuel irrational or haphazard or spur -of -the- moment decisions /actions without first placing deep and careful thought into any situation. ...and at times humans have a tendency to want to "save and be herroric" before knowing actual, factual aspects of any situation they may "read.
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I suggest working, for starters, with the town's social worker. An Alzheimer's patient who was moved is definitely NOT a good scenario! Good grief!
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Contact an attorney ASAP!!!
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