BIL wants banking account info. I am DPOA. Is there anything I should be wary of if I give it to him?

No, If Mom made U the DPOA, she trusts you to take care of it. I would give him statements or arrange for a read only access. Funny how people want all his stuff but are unwilling to take part. If they don;t want B helping, insist they help. Long distance? Tough. I drove 200 miles each way, every other week for 3 years to help with my mom. Others can do it as well.

Saw the writing on the wall... You bust you're butt all these years caring and BIL says OK I'll help, now it's "where did her money go"?

Watch your back cmcwrinkl1.....I'd be suspicious of his motives!

You are the DPOA, that makes you responsible for her health care and her finacial. Just because someone gives and puts money into her account that does not give them a right to monitor the money. It was a gift. I was my mothers DPOA and NO one had her bank information but me. I agree be is up to something. Watch yours and your mothers back.

You are not required to give financial information to anyone. Sounds like he is trying to take control. It is not his business to monitor it. Your mother gave that responsibility to you. If he has serious concerns there is a process he can go through to investigate/challenge what you are doing.

I care give at a distance. I find the staff of the places mother has been at are helpful.

Good luck to you -it isn't easy and relatives who want to take over make it so much harder. (((((((hugs)))))))

You are the DOPA, just as I am for my husband. You need not give any information to B, unless you choose to sends B a copy of the banking account as you get it, just make a copy & send it on . If you so choose to & are comfortable with it sense B is there close to your mom.
Trust you gut. Your head will play games with you all day long.
Best to you & you do not walk alone.

If you feel hes being honest and is contributing to ur moms care finacialy the i would add him as a secondary POA...with that hes responsiable just as u are and u can both watch what the other is doing. My sister & i are POA's on my dads account...i live close to him & she dosnt...i take care of making sure all his bills are paid & needs are met....but she can also pay bills on his behalf and can see by logging into his bank that things are fine. Share POA hes is then legally responsible and can be charged if he misappropiates funds for any other use than to help ur mom. Good Luck.

I have a different perspective. First you refer to BIL, not your sister, so that tells me he is likely a strong head of household, who runs his own family's finances. Good or bad, that is what it sounds like. Also, he is offering to donate. People who are used to being in charge, are unlikely to donate money, without expecting some level of control or monitoring. If you need or want to accept his financial donation, yuo need to respect his right to know how his money is used. Doesn't sound like you have reason to distrust him and you need the help. Also it sounds like B is not able to help, namely because mom does not want her to.
Partner with your sister and BIL, you need the help.
Best of luck.
L

I am DPOA and every time I do something my father or brother don't like they say that I've done some thing illegal and make it seem like I am a bad person and dishonest when in fact I am the most honest one. I am absolutely willing and have printed and offered reports showing exactly where the money goes because I have nothing to hide. In no way would I ever give them the account numbers. My brother tries to guilt me into it by saying what if something happens to you how would we get access. I have a folder for everything and my sister is the alternate so she would be able to figure it all out if necessary. bottom line PROTECT YOURSELF TRUST FEW when it comes to family.

For better or worse now, mom gave him the info. I will just have to make the best of it and protect myself. I'm still a little nervous though since as many say, even when you've done nothing wrong and are straight up about everything, people can still get suspicious and accusatory. I don't think he will, but I don't want to be foolish.

I think perhaps once things settle down with Mom's recent move and once the full benefits are arriving and BIL no longer needs to give her money that I might change the password at least.

Veronica, that's funny but not. I'm sure BIL wants to know where money went. To my sister, mom's $900 a month was a lot of money. But add in her $450 on medical insurance and medicines, plus paying off her debts. And her love of eating out (which I had to limit) and most of it is gone.

And now he wants to see how she will handle the dining set up at this new place. Especially since I complained to him about how she will go to a restaurant (or cafeteria) and order more than she can eat. Or splurge on things - a salad on the side instead of the vegetable that comes with it. Because she deserves it (in her mind). It is a major trigger for me how mom behaves with food and is the biggest possible obstacle to making this new living arrangement work.