I am pretty sure my brother filed an elder abuse allegation against me, claiming I am somehow abusing our mother. What could happen to Mom and I?

When the investigator showed up at the door, my jaw must have hit the ground. I asked him "ok, which sister requested this?". He responded he could not tell me. But, yes, I knew, initially thought it was twisted #1. She is a very vindictive, narcissistic person. And she is a counselor! It is her M.O. LOL! Found out later that TS#2 made the request on Mom TS#1 for stepdad. And TS#2 has mom's POA's! She knew nothing of the sort was going on, she had access to mom's accounts! Fraudulent report, if a year later, could have gotten her in legal trouble of her own. Laws have been adopted in my state that punishes false reporters.

Eventually, TS#2 acknowledged that it was her that reported me on mom. Though neither has ever apologized for any of their crazy behavior over four long years of providing care. Even with professionals involved they never believed what they were told. I just do not need vindictive, spiteful people like those two in my life. And the investigator on his last visit said the reports were nothing but "spite and vindictiveness". Though he never confirmed it was the twisteds.

The investigator was very kind to me and when he left the house, the last time we saw him, told me that APS loves cases like this because they see so many elderly that really are being abused. So, he came to the house just for one final check and talk to tell us, individually, and together, that the cases were closed. He gave me a big hug when he left that day. They know how stressful this is for us.

Best wishes to you and your mom and just try to relax.

Well someone claimed abuse was going on -- it may or may not have been your brother. All such claims must be investigated. Often they are found to be totally baseless.

If there is no evidence of abuse you will simply be notified that the case is closed.

Been there I was investigated for financial exploitation times two. Twisted sisters requested investigation for my mom and her hubby. Very stressful to go through, but was very relieved to have APS involved as nothing of the sort was occurring. It took about six weeks for APS to close the cases.

By law, they cannot tell you who requested the investigation. By law they have to make the first contact with you and mom, yes separately, within 72 hours.

Do not try to hide anything from them. That will not do you any good or improve the situation. Try to relax, breathe deep. Sleep will be well deserved when this is done. It was the most stressful time of my life. And to imagine the twisteds thought so little of me, well, they are no longer a part of my life. I do not need people like that!

Just be as cooperative as you can. No reporter will not get to see the report either. Only person to see it would possibly be a judge. In my case, twisteds were simply told there was nothing to investigate. The reason it took so long to close? APS unfortunately has cases that are legitimate and take much staff time. The longer you do not hear from them the better.

I certainly hope you're right and that we WILL be notified because, as each day passes, both of us are losing sleep over it! Let's face it, allegations are often times given more credence than the actual truth!

Forgot to thank jeannegibbs for my first answer and thank you, too, gladimhere for your comprehensive answer as well! I appreciate both of you for taking the time to calm our fears and trying to help us sleep at night (although I'm sure it will be some time before we can actually do that!). We HAVE cooperated from day ONE but haven't heard back at all, which I hope is a good thing. Question, though.... how did you "know" that the report was generated from your sisters (or, like me, did you simply believe it was them) and, again, how did you find out that the case had been closed? THAT is what we need to know/find out so we can FINALLY sleep at night again without the fear that something bad might happen in the morning! Thanks, both of you, for your replies!!!

It happened w/MIL she had my also disabled (drama crazy high functioning)sister living w/her. We were there 2hrs before work to prepare brkfst & a.m meds then had a person come in 6hrs to prepare lunch clean & leave dinner ready. We called every 3 hrs & stopped on the way home to give p.m pills & make sure they were ready for bed.Weekends we'd do the same thing but w/o the additional help,just the 2 of us. We were floored w/that knock at the door. Still not sure it wasn't that sister just adding drama! Anyway MIL was competent just elderly 80yr.old & SIL was able to take care of her own ADLs also so they had more care than warranted, I think. Investigator did the interviews & dropped in unannounced one more time but then never returned. I do remember the sleepless nights & dread. Anger even that after running ragged somebody would think they weren't cared for. In the end after not hearing from anyone for months I think we just forgot about it. If all is good I'm sure that will show through to the investigator since I'm sure they see real problems. My experience may be dated this was in 2008/2009. They've both since passed & now we are caring for my mom.

Yes, you will be notified. How long ago did aps show up? Give it a couple of months anyway. If you do not hear anything call or email them to ask the status. No nastiness, I know how hard it is. Patience is a virtue, especially when caring for our folks.

Just an observation--No actual experience of this on my part with elders--But, if there were any evidence of on-going abuse, wouldn't the agency have taken immediate steps to stop it? I know CPS will remove children from a home immediately if they think it's warranted. So, seems to me that the longer you go without hearing from them, the better, since it might mean they are just finalizing paperwork to close the case.

Lotsokittycats:

I was also accused of abusing my mother. The social worker couldn't tell me who it was; but myself and others were pretty sure it was my sister. In all honestly, I wasn't worried about it because I wasn't abusing my mother. Was I angry, yes. My sister hasn't seen her mother in over 30 years. If you haven't done anything wrong, I wouldn't worry about it. Also, I am not sure how long it has been since you were investigated, but if you mother was being abused - they would have removed her from the situation or a police report would have been filed. You know the old saying "no news is good news".

I was very honest, upfront - gave the social worker names and number of everyone I was working with (my mom has Alzheimer's) and phone numbers of neighbors, relatives etc. It was also obvious mom was well taken care of. The social worker ended up telling my mother that she needed to stay with me. You will get a formal letter in about 6 weeks.

Hello, I can understand what you are going through. Let me say to you don't loose sleep over the allegations because it's not true. I will share a little bit of my story with you. My 64 year old husband is disabled from having a stroke 3 years ago. I am almost 40 years old and I have stepped up to the plate. I am the only caregiver for him plus I work full time. Caregiving is not easy. I was in nursing school and I am thankful for the skills I learnt because it helps me alot. He uses a hemiwalker and can say about 4 words, also he makes sounds and gestures, that's how I communicate with him. My husband was good to me and I feel like his family don't trust me because of my age. I will continue to care for him as long as I can. His eldest sister and a close friend of his used to visit us 2 years ago. Due to her being disrespectful to us whenever she visits, my husband indicated to her she should not come by again. This friend and sister called his phone and he refused all calls. They have left harrassing voice messages, she sent him disrespectful texts and made nasty comments while we were in the hospital. She has not seen her brother over 2 years now. They left voice messages saying they will send the police on us. And guess what, they blame me for all that. I made it clear to them that he has his own phone and if he doesn't want to answer his phone, respect that.
A few months later the police showed up at my home, asking for my husband by name, I gladly welcome them in. The cops saw him and look around my apartment and left. That hurt me to my core that his family would do that. I broke down. I was angry. Couple weeks after that, an investigator from APS showed up. This was last year March and April. I asked the investigator if he can wait a few minutes because I was doing my husband's hygiene care. Then I welcome him in, he saw and communicated with my husband. I asked him who called me in, he said he can't say who. I then told him I knew who did it. I told him everything that's going on and we don't have the time and energy to deal with drama from his sister and friend. He asked me to save the texts and voice messages. I have a bag of receipts that I kept which the officer took pictures of, and he also looked into my refrigerator. He said not to worry. I was prepared for that visit. Thankfully, they haven't bothered us in months, and what they have done has only alienated him from them. I am more at peace with our situation now. The investigator has not returned.
I hope this helps put your fears at rest. People can be vindictive. Stay blessed.