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Husband does not have this problem - yet - but I am curious if there is anyone caring for someone who has bowel incontinence. How do you deal with it?

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Mom lost continence early on so we dealt with it for years. At first mom still would go when I put her on the toilet, so I made a point of leaving her there for 10 - 15 minutes after meals. I continued to toilet her right up until she could no longer stand and pivot, I figured that even if we only caught one BM it was one less mess to clean up.

As for how you deal with messy adult diapers, I think the basics are the same as dealing with messy diapers at any age - washing, baby wipes & barrier creams. The specifics depend on your home and you and hubbies abilities.

(If you mean how do you mentally deal with it... badly, especially when there is diarrhea and **it everywhere. This is where a lot of people choose to make the transition to facility care)
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A few things can help: Diet, schedule, and having the correct supplies on-hand. First, sometimes a change in diet can help with bowel incontinence. Think of how food impacts your own digestion -- things like spicy foods, greasy foods, or gassy foods may increase the chances of loose stools and stomach upset. Second, creating a strict schedule for eating can help improve your chances of knowing when a bowel movement might happen and being able to schedule your trips to the restroom. Finally, bowel incontinence can be managed with high-quality incontinence briefs. My friend was a CNA (certified nursing assistant), and she suggested using baby wipes and creams to make sure the delicate skin is kept clean, dry, and protected. She also suggested using strong-smelling Vick's Vap'o'Rub under your nose to help with any troubling odors. I hope this helps!
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when my dad had incontinence issues - my stepmom taught him how to clean up and made him do it. When he no longer could - that was the deal breaker for nursing home.
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Everything that Chris said. i personally like good old soap and water then a barrier cream Vasiline or similar is cheap if you can't afford anything fancy. Keeping the area really clean is the most important thing to remember. Stool especially diarrhea is caustic to the skin.
When you change your patient it makes the job easier if you rip or cut the diaper down the sides rather than pull it off to avoid spreading faeces down the legs and any where else. You can use those that open down the sides with velcro. i personally find them hard to get on right but practice makes perfect and if you loved one can't walk around they stay put.
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Thank you all for answering. What is the best diaper out there?
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Try googling that, there are plenty of comparisons available.
For corner drugstore brands I found Tena superior to Depends and briefs are more absorbent than pull ups. Beyond that there are the heavier duty brands like Attends, Prevail, Tranquility and Abena, as well as booster pads to up the absorbency of any products.
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AttendsChris is right. Mentally, there is no easy way to handle bowel incontinence, especially when urinary incontinence accompanies it. My husband has both. Physically, here’s what I do, much along the lines of AttendsChris’s advice. I buy adult wipes. Baby wipes don’t work, they’re too small. I also wear gloves. When I wash hubby, I have cut the toes off of sweat socks and put one over my hand. It works much better than a washcloth.

I keep all my supplies on shelves, including sheets, diapers, wipes, gloves, creams, etc. some are in a plastic tub I carry to hubby’s hospital bed with me. Then I’m not running around looking for stuff while he’s lying there in the altogether. When I’m done, I put all the trash in a plastic grocery bag, tie it up and put it in the trash. Our disposal company won’t take biohazards and will leave the trash if it’s not bundled properly.

Mentally, I don’t dwell on it while I do it. I change the tv channel to an interesting show and get on with it.
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The disposal is a very good point. Check what the rules are in your locality - there will be a way, but it'll be good to find out in advance what you're meant to do.

Which brand is best is partly an individual thing, as well as a question of the type and volume of waste it has to cope with - different brands have subtly different shapes and materials, you may well find that one is more effective/more comfortable than another for your husband through trial and error. If you go online and have a browse, you may also be able to get free samples from the manufacturers. Or you could consult your local continence care nurse - your GP should be able to put you onto one.
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I dispose the same way as one would baby diapers. Tied in a plastic bag and put in the regular trash.
Luckily hubby can still take care of his own needs.
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My mother has crohns disease and also had two strokes. She has to wear 4-6 diapers a day. She doesnt clean well after herself and this problem takes its toll! She cant go to restaurants, cant eat in car or before any event. its hell on earth! Doctors prescribed immodium, other meds that do little to nothing. A vegetarian diet, probiotics, fermented foods help. Not undigestible carbs. Been dealing with this nightmare for years! Luckily insurance pays for diapers, pads, pee pads.
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Be careful with baby wipes, my mom plugged the toilet using un-flushable kind, costing us $900. with Rotor Rooter Plumbing!
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