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We are the POA and primary caregivers for my husband's parents, who live with us in their own suite. Dad's dementia has progressed to early stage 6. He struggles to shower and change clothes, often going to bed with coins in his pockets. Mom's dementia is progressing faster, but she is not nearly as impacted so far and was diagnosed a year ago. She is at a point where learning to treat Dad more kindly because his behaviors are based in the disease is really not possible in any sustained manner.


Our plan is to move to two twin beds in their bedroom and set up a 2nd bedroom with another bed so Mom has a place to go in the middle of the night. They've been married >60yrs. While Mom is beginning to feel like she needs that separate space, we know this will be hard.


So, has anyone done something like this where they've successfully separated a married couple into separate rooms? What are your lessons learned and areas we should pay extra attention to?

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When my daughter was little it was just us. We slept together for years. When she got older and I wanted her to have her own bed I took two twin beds and had them together, separate blankets, then set the beds in an L shape so she could still touch me. Then I had the beds separated by a night stand - she could still touch me. Then put the beds on opposite sides of the room. She finally got to her own room when she was about 11 - 12 years old - it took about 18 - 24 months for her to accomplish this. (she suffered from major separation anxiety). I think your idea with the separate beds then another room for her is a great start. Blessings
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You have a plan. All you can do now is to try it out.

Do you think your dad would notice if she goes into another room after he’s asleep?

Wishing you and your family well.
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If she feels the need to move to the other bed sometime in the night I think the transition will just happen naturally. Having different bed times will also allow each of them to get used to being in bed and falling asleep alone, from there it's just a matter of MIL deciding where she wants to be. But be prepared for one or the other to begin calling out or getting up and looking for the other (or you) if they tend to wake through the night, unfortunately that's a behaviour that happens even with those who don't have a partner.
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I very much doubt her husband will tolerate this move.
I can't imagine this amount of caring going on in your home, but you seem to have no problems of complaints of that.
I hope this works out for you.
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Are you saying that you and hubby plan on sleeping in twin beds in their bedroom??????
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