My mother seems to be mid stage 6 Alzheimer's. She has really taken a turn for the worse in the past few days. Angry outbursts, unfamiliar in her own home, yet she knows where everything is. Asking when she can go home. It seems she has regressed to her late teens. We (children and grandchildren) are familiar to her but we are not her family. I am the oldest and she asks how I can be her child if I am older than her. Also signs of Sundown Syndrome. She is not on any Alzheimer's medications. Tried Aracept but it made her very sick. She has taken Risperadone on occasion, but will start on it daily.
In some ways having a consistent set of caregivers day after day is probably best for the dementia patient.
On the other hand, it is seldom best or even practical for a single set of caregivers to provide 24/7/365 care, from the caregiver perspective.
Somehow the right balance must be struck between what is best for the patient and what is best for the caregivers. And really, a situation that is not at least acceptable for the caregivers does not provide the best situation for the patient, either.
Multiple family members taking turns caring may simply be the best they can do, regardless of what is theoretically "best" for the patient. Multiple professional caregivers in a facility, taking shifts, is also better than a single caregiver trying to do it 24/7, for both the caregivers and the patient.
My mother (moderate dementia) lives with my sister. Mom spends one long weekend per month with each of three other daughters. Is that ideal? One family member thinks it would be better for Mom not to change locations so often. Yup, it probably would. But that would probably mean she would need to go to a care center. Seems to me the present non-ideal situation is better for her than that alternative, at least at the present, when she does not need a lot of constant care.
Like so many issues in caring for a loved one with dementia, none of the options is ideal. Each case must be decided on a best-under-the-circumstances basis. There is no one-size-fits-all answer.
My heart goes out to you in this difficult situation.
Do a little write-up after each one. When, where, who was there, what was said. It may help you see a pattern. Please don't take this as blame. There is only so much anyone can do to control the environment. But knowledge is power.
Best wishes. I can tell you're trying to do the best job you can.