My self and my elder sister and brother are being stopped from seeing mum by mums eldest four children, we are mums youngest three children and grew up with mum seperate from the older ones as they were moved out and married when we were young, we were almost two families as we had no relationship with the elder ones as they never bothered with us or mum much at all. Us youngest 3 used to gather in mums every day, mums home was our family home as we grew up with mum there.
Mum was diagnosed with dementia a couple of years ago so myself and the other two youngest gradually had to look after mum more as time passed, eventually mum became 24 hr care a year an a half ago, it became a real struggle then as i work full time and my sister is on disability herself, we wer gettin no help from the older one who were still coming and going as they pleased offering no help, just assuming we had everything taken care, we have young families and all the older ones children are grown adults.
One of those grown grandchildren came to mums one day after not visiting her in 5 yes 5 YEARS, mum was in the middle of an extremely bad kidney infection and was on her fourth course of anti biotics, mum was critical of everything and saying things that were very distorted, this grandchild not being educated on dementia began taking what mum was saying as fact and began accusing me of doing nothing and leaving mums a mess, and said I treat mum like dirt, all things mum was saying. Well I completely lost my temper in front of mum and told the grandchild to get out, due to this mum became scared of me, and starting saying she didn't want to see me, after this there was another arguement with me and the grandchilds father and he kept saying mum doesn't want to see me anymore, the grandchild hadn't spoken to her father in 5 years prior, one of mums elder daughters took mum from her home to live with her and sent her brother with a list of things she wanted from mums, we hadn'seen mum in 3 months when she came to my door with another one of her sons, she stood crying hugging me and was asking to come home, two weeks later she was home, now suddenly he had moved into mums as her full time carer, this is the same man who wouldn't sit with mum an hour a couple months before so my sister could get mums shopping,
Neighbours had to tell us she was home, so me and my sister called to mums and noticed no washing machine and bags of dirty washing everywhere, the elder daughter kept her washing machine. Wen we asked where it was her now carer, father of the uneducated grandchild threatened to keep us out, are we not enitled to ask whey she's left with no washing machiene. At this time mum was happy to see us but the tension between us and him was not good for her, a few days later we were denied access to mums by the control freak (did i mention his marriage broke up due to domestic violence) who now looks after and told to contact mums social worker, which we did of course.
We worked with social services and arranged a one hour visit in a week with my own mother, who previously had dinner in my home with my family 3 or 4 times a week, this was to prove to social services mum was ok with us, they agreed everything was fine, suddenly after 2 visits mum didn't want to see us again, for no reason, i'm convinced he was emotionally abusing my mother, been almost a year now and were totally exhausted and social services didnt help, as long as mum is saying she doesn't want to see us is there anything we can do, she probably doesn't know who i am now, i still have the right to be with her at this stage of her life, and so do my brother and sister, mums eldest arent looking after her out of love, they had no relationship with her, i mean one didnt speak to her in 18 years and the rest didn't care. They all lived 5 mins from mum and rarely called, they were strangers to me growing up, now these people are lookin after her and stopping us from even seeing her.
is there any legal direction we can take this we just feel helpless
any advice welcome
thinking of seeing solicitor