My Dad's health has suddenly deteriorated and my Mom can't care for him. My dad has terrible gout in addition to incontinence problems with his bowels. He recently was in the hospital for a week, and has gone downhill every since. His gout has gotten so bad that he can't move from bed and can't visit the bathroom. We have tried changing gout medicines and dosages, with little improvement. My mother has mobility issues herself, refuses to cook appropriate foods for his gout and diabetes, and is in no shape to help him get around. She wants to put him in a home, but she is probably in need of one herself. The trouble is, they refused to talk about this for so long, and now that she has reached her breaking point and wants to do something about it, we are not prepared! It's not like checking into a hotel!!!! On top of all of this, I live in a different state, and my brother is a single father with very little spare time to help them either. How do we even begin this process???