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I take care of my MIL full time. I am youngish, 48 and I still have a teenager at home and a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 6. I was also a special needs teacher before I quit my job to stay home and take care of her 4 months ago. My kids and sisters and other family members always tease that I'm an air head, but since I started staying home with my MIL my memory has got worse. I have to use sticky notes for things in the house or set an alarm for her meds [that I use to remember when to give her] and I have to keep notes for every thing I do. I asked my doctor [we have the same doctor] he said mine is due to stress and that I need a break to regroup with my brain. So I know that some people think they get it from a parent and maybe they do but stress can bring it on. No one in my very large family has ever had it so my doctor ruled that out. Don't give up!
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I have wondered if I have dementia too, but my husband says I really don't have it. My mother says things to like you don't remember right and is really aggressive about it. I also think the stress of taking care of a parent with dementia makes us forget things we wouldn't normally forget. At least I am hoping I am right and not going to end up like mom.
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I've noticed my own decline in memory. It's especially alarming in light of Mom's diagnosis of dementia. I've also noticed it in my husband, who's nearly 75. We forget where we put stuff a lot but usually find it. He forgets things I said. I forget things he said. If I don't make a list prior to shopping, I come home without stuff I need. This is mostly short-term memory. Not long ago I got a 23 and Me genetic and medical DNA analysis. I do not have the APOE gene linked to early-onset Alzheimer's, which doesn't particularly reassure me, given we know the presence or absence of the gene doesn't guarantee anything.

Very sobering. I talked to my primary doctor. I told her about my astronomical stress over the past few months (death of father, care of mother with dementia). She said she saw no reason at this point to test me. She recommended making sure my vitamin D and B12 levels are adequate (they are), keeping my cholesterol levels in a healthy range (I do, without statins), and keeping my sodium levels down (they are borderline high). She recommended keeping my brain engaged with new challenges and maintaining social contacts. I want to learn how to play an instrument to create new neural pathways and looking for a good beginner's dulcimer. Watched my cousin play and was intrigued!!!

I sure feel your anxiety. For now, I suppose, we pray for medical breakthroughs and live the healthiest lives we can.
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Stress does a lot to the body. When I had Mom living here my husband was always telling me he worried about me. I would say Like I don't have enough going on. I had her 24/7 only getting out for errands when he was home. Besides Mom I had her house up keep and a disabled nephew living there that needed to be taken grocery shopping and taken to doctor visits. Our brains can only do so much. So it's not Dementia just too much responsibility.
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