Be honest, how many hate being a caregiver?

I didn’t hate it, but I didn’t want to do it. I resented the way it took over my life, being constantly on call to field questions and complaints, running errands, trips to medical appointments. It seemed to be endless. I felt quilty when I made excuses or outright lied to avoid doing something that wasn’t urgent but relieved at the respite.

My wife had a stroke
Her attitude toward me it's all my fault when she gets stressed
Im not a saint but her mindset is illogical
I feel sometimes maybe her old normal self will return
Live without affection is hard
What will tomorrow bring
If I get a offer next time I hope I take it
Trouble is with PD I can't catch a fast woman lol

SylviaT, I'm with you. I, too, hate caregiving and instead of a spouse, it's my grandmother; no, wait, not 'grandma' but a former shell of her. She really should have died years ago, it would have been a blessing rather than keep her around selfishly to suffer in pain, mental anguish, constantly pissing herself and wasting away.

Caregiving has made me a firm advocate for death with dignity. In my opinion, it's better to go away somewhere nice like Switzerland, have a lovely last meal, drink the chocolate milk poison and die peacefully with dignity. I'm a big advocate of that, because it's much better than the horrorshow I'm witnessing with my grandmother. It's also not placing a burden on family or an overwhelmed health care system. Imagine a world where very few nursing homes actually exist anymore because death with dignity is a viable, desireable option. Just a thought.

If I'm being totally honest, I am sooo glad to know I'm not alone on this. I absolutely HATE caregiving because it has hijacked my life. This is the worst, and I wish my grandma would just die already because she's in so much pain and has no real quality of life left. She's not herself anymore. It's a horrorshow that just needs to end already. And I'm at wits' end with it all, it's become a total circus. The only thing caregiving has taught me is how to die with dignity- before any of this crap sets in, go to Switzerland, drink the chocolate poison and die peacefully in my sleep without pain.

I'll be honest, I am starting to absolutely, completely loath it.

Prior to diagnosis she put her symptoms and tiredness down to our marriage problems and was actively talking about leaving... On top of that I've supported her and her (tight) family for over a decade financially (which I also have come to deeply resent).

My wife has been ill for the last 3 years with advanced cancer, and has been in declining health over the last few years, so I've organised the very best care, countless doctor and hospital visits, chemotherapy, surguries, emergency visits, fighting with insurance companies, dealing with distraught family and friends, on and on it goes..

I'm the sole bread-winner now for the last 6 years, while my family has helped out massively financially - her family hasnt given a single penny of their own money (literally).

Ive been working-full time, organising all of her insurance and hospital visits (or it falls in a heap, she refuses to take even that responsibility), taking care of our son, consoling him - organising his activities, taking him everywhere, taking her to appointments and trying to work full time as its only my private insurance thats kept her alive...

I've ended up on anti-depressants during this nightmare, had a breakdown, and having finally learnt detachment for my own sanity, so she now resents that I dont want to listen to her cry most nights about her impending demise as its just too stressful.

We've had no sex life since I cant even remember, my once brilliant career is now circling the toilet and I'm just totally burned out.

But she is determined to 'fight' for every minute longer...
Why I dont quite understand anymore as her quality of life is increasingly aweful with pain, and her 'doing things' with our son sadly amounts now to little more than sitting next to him as he plays with the ipad or watches TV...

Whoever thought care-giving was a blessing was some sort of deep masochist...

Can I raise both hands and say I absolutely hate being a caregiver?
I just don't want to take care of another old person. The thought of it makes me sick. No one is alone in absolutely despising caregiving.