Bathing mid + Alzheimer's patient?

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My client is resistive to down right aggressive to my giving her her sit shower. Her sister does this 3x week but is needing the CG to do it. When we do try she gets snippy and will not do what we try... Asking first and getting her in bathroom to point of unclothed and ready to get in bathing area... Then she's gone to the other side and no way will she comply. The family thinks we are scared but as caregivers we aren't allowed to make patients do this...so it's a catch twenty two. I've tried the towel covering privacy mode... Nope Nada!!! Thus also goes for changing her depends ... She fights to stay in them and then family gets nasty that we can't handle it.... But after 4x of attempting to chg her when she's on toilet... She will attack my head.... I won't allow that.i can use constructive help please

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Blesson, this is well past mid-dementia. The patient needs better medication and you deserve some protection from harm. .
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I must agree that no one wants to wear a diaper, and I hope that not everyone gets to that point. I know that some probably will but hopefully not everyone will. I've known people well up in years who did not wear them, and they were doing rather well for their ages. In fact, one person who was like a grandpa to me actually ran his own farm and even drove well into his old age until he said his kids would no longer let him drive. Some point, someone got him a hospital bed. It seems like after he started slowing down that he probably declined because I hadn't seen him in quite a while. At some point looked him up on the internet only to find that he died years prior. He was one of the very few World War II veterans left. Last time I ever saw him, he was not wearing diapers.
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Of course they're going to fight! Who wants to wear a d#mn diaper? None of us, but we may all get to that point!
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Sorry, this is the third time I've answered this but I keep thinking of new things. One day my caretaker actually got in in the tub without my help. She told me that she bribed my mom with Ice Cream. Mom loves ice cream so caretaker asked her if she wanted Ice cream and Mom eagerly said yes, then the caretaker said ok lets get this bath over with so we can go get your ice cream and Mom complied. I had to laugh. Its like dealing with a little kid.
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When Mom fights me on taking off her depends, I always remind her of how important it is so she doesn't get a UTI. I say " you don't want to get a Urinary tract infection, right? Then we have to go to the Doctor and we hate going to the Doctor and then we gotta take antibiotics and we hate doing that too, right?" Once she's agreed with everything I say then I say " ok then, lets get these off of you and make sure you're clean cuz that's what all responsible adults do", Everyone is different and the fact that you're not a family member makes it harder to know what psychology works for your patient. This works for me for it is tedious to go through all day everyday.
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My Mom has a caregiver for 4 hours every morning, Monday through Friday, and Mom will not take a bath for her. We make sure the bath is ready and then I have to lead her by the hand and convince her of how good that warm water is going to feel and how great she will smell and how beautiful she will be. Then I say "lets take off your shoes and socks cuz there's nothing worse than stinky feet. Now turn your back to me and put your arms up...lets get that shirt off you (undo the bra). Now wrap this towel around you to stay warm (really for modesty while I take off her pants and diaper). She says "I have to take off that too" and I say "yes, you don't want your clothes to get wet, right?" Then I say "ok lets get you in that warm water...It's going to feel sooo good". Once she's actually in the tub, she will let the caretaker bathe her. If I'm not around and Mom doesn't mind the caretaker then I just say "OK". I would never fault the caretaker because she can't MAKE Mom do something she doesn't want to do. I would definitely talk to the family and let them know whats going on and ask for their help or suggestions so they understand that you are doing your best.
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Mom has dementia & was on hospice two years ago. Hospice used a great No Rinse wash that I use on the days she doesn't shower. Works really well and neutralizes odor.
God bless you all.
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Blesson, it seems you really have no choice here, let her sponge-bath as others have suggested or ask the 'family' to help, after all they are the ones badgering you. Let them try to bath her when she is resistant and they will fail....again this is not your fault. People with dementia can be very strong and physical when they want to be...and for some reason they do not want to bath or shower; but sometimes you can convince them to take a sponge bath. If you were to 'force' her to bathe she may be injured and then all h*ll would break loose...how you injured their mom, you're incompetent etc...definitely not worth the risk...Maybe her family should do so in-depth reading on Alzheimer's and the stages that most go through. Just a thought, my blessings to you! Lindaz
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It amazed me that suddenly the frail elder gets the strength of Sampson! My mother almost broke her own eye glasses when I gently tried to take them from her.
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Goodness gracious, the things we have to put up with; some live forever in a demented state and others depart young when their lives are just getting settled...the unfairness of it all makes me sick! Please Higher Power take me in my sleep before I get to this poinT!
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